


Total Drama Belle Grande

by DontPokeDaZoke2



Category: Total Drama
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-06-16
Packaged: 2018-11-09 05:01:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 41,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11097444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DontPokeDaZoke2/pseuds/DontPokeDaZoke2
Summary: This is the Biggest Total Drama Season yet, as 80 Veteran TD Contestants team up with 8 Brand-New Campers for the most explosive season of Total Drama Ever. Who will win the Insane amount of 22 Million Dollars, Find out on TOTAL! DRAMA! BELLE GRANDE!





	1. The New Guys

**Author's Note:**

> OC’s:
> 
> Lily: From Montana, She’s 5’0 and has Raven-Black hair cut into a straight bob. Her eyes are deep blue, and she has a few freckles. She is the type of person that sees the best in people, and doesn’t judge anyone for things they cant control, but at the same time can be overly critical of herself to the point of being irrational. She lives on her families ranch, and joined total drama partly to escape having to milk cows all summer with her brothers, but also to make new friends, as her small town is pretty isolated. Besides the competition she loves drifting cars and collecting vintage sneakers.
> 
> Chester: From Tennessee, He’s 6’0, and has blond hair cut similar to Chris Jericho. A fun-loving yet slightly unstable guy, Chester comes from an extremely poor rural area in the Appalachian wilderness of Tennessee. Despite this dreary outlook, hes wants everyone to have a good time even at the most inappropriate times. His motivation for going on the show was to get money to build his dream home filled with a bounce house bar and skate park. Besides this, he also enjoys Wrestling and Motocross.
> 
> Sandy: Originally From New Mexico, She’s 5’6, skinny, and has shoulder-length blond hair. She has Brown Eyes and a scar on her left cheek and arm. She is extremely street-smart, due to being on the run from her home for over a year. However it has left her distrustful and prone to being aggravated easily. She has a strong desire to leave her past behind her, which was her motivation for going on the show and finally getting the freedom she never really had, even if it’s on a Canadian reality show.
> 
> Mario: From Long Island, New York, He is 5’10, of slight chubby build, has dark brown eyes, and brown hair in a spiked comb-over. His family owns an Italian restaurant that is very successful and he is proud the fact that he is the first person in his family born in America. Despite this, He is arrogant, manipulative, and will do anything to get what he thinks he deserves. He went on total drama to prove that he doesn’t fit the Guido Stereotypes, and doesn’t want any comparisons of real Italians to the manufactured trash of the Jersey Shore.
> 
> Dillon: From New Jersey, Hes 5’5, Skinny, and has Long Brown Hair that looks similar to Ozzy Osbourne's hair when he was in Black Sabbath; He also has brown eyes and a couple eyebrow piercings. Dillon’s one of those contestants who doesn’t take many things seriously, including competition. He actually didn’t even want to be on the show, but can’t back down now that he is on it. Despite coming off as cool, yet cynical, He actually deeply cares for people and values integrity above everything else. He plays guitar in a band and dreams of one day being on tour with all his friends. 
> 
> Megan: From Florida, She’s 5’2, Skinny, and has shoulder length brown hair and eyes that match. Although painfully shy, she is a fierce competitor and strives to do the best she can. She is also very acrobatic from doing dance and gymnastics. Despite her shyness, she makes friends easily, but can also be easily manipulated by other more sinister competitors. She joined the show to overcome her shyness and meet new people. Besides this, Shes into Anime and playing Halo
> 
> Jaquan: From Detroit, Michigan, He’s 5’11, Skinny yet built, and has Black short dreadlocks. Out of his protruding bottom lip sports fake gold teeth. Jaquan loves two things in life, Being the Best Rapper in all of Detroit, and Money, which is exactly why he’s on the show. That and to promote his mixtape. Despite his supposed genius ability when it comes to his rapping game, He is both incredibly stupid and painfully stubborn, to the point of being confrontational. His hobbies outside of this are Making Beats, Women, and Drinking Lean at the most inappropriate times.
> 
> Esmeralda: From San Diego, California, She’s 5’5, Fat, and has wavy black hair. She also has brown eyes, Ice earrings, and a tattoo of a Mexican skull on her left shoulder. She is narcissistic, impatient, and extremely determined to get what she wants. The only reason she’s on the show is too lose weight and be famous, and wont do a challenge if she thinks it’s too hard or compromises with her shallow beliefs. Outside of the show, she loves to shop on the sunset strip and go to the beach.

There was a new season of total drama that was promised to eclipse the previous seasons. It was being held on Pahkitew Island and the challenges were promised to outdo everything they’d ever done yet. None of the other contestants knew but along with all 80 previous contestants from the different generations, there would be 8 new ones joining them. The surprise was that none of them were from Canada. They were all coming from all across America, from California to New York and everywhere in between. The contestants had already been shown and Chris has already chosen their teams for them. They were all waiting to get their team names and go to their supposed team cabins, but Chris has a surprise in store for them.

Chris: I know what your thinking, we have 80 contestants and that should give us more drama then any of the other seasons right. 

Heather: You’re joking 

Taylor: What is he talking about?

Chris: I know I didn’t host the ridonculous race, but that doesn’t mean I can’t have them compete because it should have been me. It was hard enough getting around the child labor laws to have junior compete and I didn’t want the four oldest contestants for practical reasons, so I thought, what If I got even more contestants to take their place. 

Everyone stared blankly

Chris: Yes campers, there are more

Ugghhhhhhh! They all groaned

Courtney: Are you fucking serious Chris

Emma: Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse

Chris: But heres the cool thing, They’re not from Canada 

Geoff: Fuck yeah

Brody: Sweet dude

Izzy: Wow, are they going to be from different countries like France, Japan, Sweden 

Chris: No Izzy, they’re actually from America

More groans are Heard

Noah: Wow, more dumbasses

Blaineley: Well, my time on the show is limited

Chris: I knew all of you would be understanding, but I want to introduce you to them in a way to make them really feel at home so, follow me to the stage.

They all followed

Gwen: What is Chris trying to plan this time

Bridgette: We already have 80 contestants, we really don’t need anymore

Gwen: This is going to be a long season

Crimson: After this, remind me to re-evaluate my life.

 

Meanwhile backstage, Chef looks at all the eight new contestants picked to be on the show. 

Chef: Alright Campers LISTEN UP, I’m going to ask you to pick a card, write your name on it, and put it in a bowl so that Chris can pick out the name at random. There are 4 teams of 20 this time and they’ve already been chosen.

Sandy: Holy fuck, does that mean they got every single season of total drama on our teams

Mario: What, I thought it was only going to be 20

Jaquan: Well you thot wrong nigga

Some laugh, while others just glare at him, including chef

Chef: ENOUGH SHENANIGANS, AND WRITE YOUR NAMES DOWN

They all did as told

Chef: All right, NOW GET OUT THEIR SUCKAS.

Chef pushed all eight contestants onto the stage. Luckily the curtain was closed so they weren’t seen yet. Chester started to look outside the curtain.

Chester: they’re walking to the seats now! Holy shit that’s a lot of people!

Jaquan: Get the fuck outta here nigga, they playing. 

He goes to investigate and starts looking out too 

Jaquan: nah, Samuel Jackson was right.

Megan: Oh god, I hate crowds so much, but I’ve watched the show before so I kinda know what to expect. 

Dillon: I’ve actually never watched the show before, so it’s news to me.

Esmeralda: You mean, you’ve never seen one episode

Dillon: I watched that one episode where they all fell out of the plane and half of them didn’t have parachutes, but my little sister really loves the show, so theres how I know about it.

Lily: Why are you here then? 

Dillon: It’s a long story

But Chester Interrupts 

Chester: All right I think it’s starting now, I see Chris coming up to the stage.

Sandy: Fuck my life

 

While the new Campers are situated behind the curtain, all 80 contestants are sitting in front of the curtain waiting for the names of the new american campers to be revealed.

Heather: This is fucking insane Chris, you’re adding more campers, and we have 80, why do we need any more.

Chris: Because why not, It will keep the show on the air longer and it makes us money. So now, as you know, these campers are a little different. Americans have been flooding my e-mails asking about auditions, so I finally decided why not, we can take two, but wouldn’t it be cool if we had eight. 

Everyone stared blankly

Jay: He can’t be serious! Can he

Ellody: I thought he was only replacing the four that he couldn’t get on the show.

Chris: The audition process was really crazy this year with the submissions. The people we picked this year are promised to fill this show with drama, so I figure we watch all the eight contestants audition videos before we introduce them, you know, to get to know them better.

Dakota: What, that’s horrible, you’ve gone too far Chris

Sam: Yeah I don’t want to see that.

Chris: Oh but you will, and hopefully all their dirt is dead and behind them by now.

Sandy: No they are not fucking serious

Megan: Oh my god, I hope I go last

Dillon: I’m Dead 

 

Chris: Alright campers, I’m going to pick the names out of this McLean brand hat, Team A your first new Camper is……………………………………Lily, who comes to us from the lonely state of Montana

Lily: Well, guess I’m first guys, oh god I’m about to have a panic attack!

Lily’s Audition Tape

We see a farm outside. It has cows and horses and a girl is in the middle of it relaxing on a patio bench. A red bandana wrapped around her head like a headband and she even had a smaller one on her right wrist. She had on a short white tank top and is wearing teal capri pants and red vintage hi-top converses. She then faces the camera. Hi everyone, my names Lily and I want to be on total drama because I’ve been on this farm way too long. As much as I love animals though, I don’t mind going shopping once in a while. I even have a Honda (the camera pans to a Honda Civic type-R) so pick me and *crack* Maybelle what the fuck was that for, you’re becoming hamburger tonight. She starts to look awkwardly at the camera saying, Oh my god, I’m so sorry, please pick me.

Owen: Wow, she lives on a farm, looking at all that food makes me hungry

Jay: Um, Owen that’s a live cow

Owen: Oh, but why was she yelling at the cow to become hamburger meat 

Jay: Well, because the cow knocked something over

Owen: Aw man, I could use a hamburger right now

Meanwhile, Sky was wondering about those audition tapes, she remembered what Chris did to her the last time and didn’t want to see it happen to anyone else.

Sky: This is so unfair; I bet he got the idea to do this while watching Dave suffer.

Zoey: You’re right; it’s incredibly embarrassing to watch these.

Courtney: But this is Chris we’re talking about, you think he cares about anybody other then himself. He’s been doing this successfully for years; he banks on other peoples suffering.

Sky: But that doesn’t make it right.

Jasmine: Wait, wasn’t your audition tape screwed up as well because it mixed both your Student Council President Speech and your Total Drama Audition.

Courtney: Yeah, my friend Tom could be kind of a dunce.

Sky: But was Tom your boyfriend too?

Courtney: Fuck no, but he was the only guy I knew that owned a really high quality video camera, and I figure I’d use his camera to shoot both, It ended up going really badly because he was in a hurry.

Zoey: But can you imagine if they played that, what would people think of you then?

Courtney: they would probably still think that I was an overachiever, but there’s nothing wrong with that. Why are we over-analyzing this?

Sky: Because after what happened between Dave and Me, I never want to see something like this happen. First impressions are everything yes, but this is not a way it should be done, besides theres 7 others that haven’t been revealed yet and it could be just as bad.

On the other side Justin and Ezekiel were talking, Ezekiel was staring at the screen, this girl was another farmer like him, isolated, supposedly raised by freaky prairie people. He was entranced.

Justin: Hey Zeke, you ok bro

Ezekiel: What, yeah yo, just another girl on our team eh

All the girls stared at him, including Courtney who was infuriated

Courtney: Don’t pull that women are inferior to men bullshit again or you’re getting voted off next time, got it.

Ezekiel gulped, he’d already been on wawanaka for over a year as a mutant before, but thanks to the exhausted help of his parents and the federal government, they found him in a feral state and brought him back to life. It took a while but he knew he couldn’t screw up this time. He had to stay on at all costs.

Chris: Ok Team A, heres your first camper for your team, Lily

Lily looked really nervous; she wasn’t the type of person to usually do those things, it kinda just slipped out. She wanted it to be a perfect audition tape, but her camera ran out of memory and she couldn’t shoot another one, so she had to send it the way it was. She felt extremely embarrassed about the whole thing.

Lily: Hi, sorry you had to see that.

The campers stared at her

Chris: Are you done? 

Lily: Yeah, I’ll go to my team now. 

And with that she rushed quickly to where Team A was situated. Sky approached her.

Sky: I’m sorry this is the way Chris had to introduce the new campers.

Lily: Yeah, I feel so bad that Chris aired your audition video just to make Dave crazier then he was already.

Sky: You watched the episode? 

Lily: Yeah, but its ok, I can’t blame you, what Chris did was awful and you didn’t have time to actually make your own audition tape. The difference between yours and my audition tape was a first impression with 80+ people, I actually love animals and Maybelle is actually one of my favorite milking cows, but she can be a handful sometimes.

Sky: If it makes you feel any better, mine was broadcast for the whole world to see, but then again I guess so was yours. 

Lily: Do you and Dave still talk at least?

Sky: Unfortunately no, I tried many times to contact him, but he ignored me, I still have feelings for him though.

Lily: At least hes still here.

Sky: Yeah, but hes still really mad at me, I tried to apologize to him while I got off the dock, but he just looked at me and ran away.

Lily: That is one intense grudge. To tell you the truth sky I don’t know if he’ll ever snap out of it, I mean if it’s been this long, there’s no way it can be fixed.

Sky: *sigh* I guess your right, but we’re both here, and he hasn’t seen me in a while, so there’s always a possibility that It could happen again. I’ve always been about the challenge though, so I’m willing to put it behind me and focus on the competition for now. Hopefully things turn out for the better.

Lily was staring at Ezekiel

Lily: Great, I hope it works out too, but can I ask you something else, how is Ezekiel returned to normal and competing again.

Sky: Oh, They said that after the old wawanaka island exploded, they found him floating in the middle of the ocean. He hasn’t really said anything; he’s very quiet.

Lily understood what being raised on the farm meant but at least she got to go to school and do normal everyday things, this guy was basically home schooled all his life and didn’t know any better.

As she pondered these thoughts, Ezekiel just stared into the distance, looking up at the sky thinking that maybe they’ll be a bird.

 

Backstage

Megan: Well shes gone, but I’m extremely curious about why you’re on this show? 

Esmeralda: Yeah, because I gotta share a show with a fake ass pothead and it better be for a good fucking reason. 

Sandy: Like your any different

Esmeralda: At least I WORKED on my audition; this guy probably submitted a dud.

Dillon: You know what yeah, it was fake, but I didn’t think it would actually get sent. My brothers and I thought it would be funny to do a fake Total Drama Audition and they sent it behind my back, and now that it got accepted, there’s nothing I can do about it.

Mario: But they’re going to play it and nobody will like you.

Dillon: They’re probably all there against their will anyway, besides its in their contracts to be here, as well as mine now. Being on reality TV isn’t exactly what I had In mind, but I’m trying to make the best of it.

 

Outside

Team B your new Camper is……………………………..Chester, who’s from the state where that awful country music is probably from, Tennessee.

Chester: I’d love to hear the rest of this but I gotta bounce

Chester’s Audition Tape

The camera being used is old and has really bad quality. It is set in a usual basement with boxes of concrete slabs all over the place and on one of them sits a tall, blond guy with a red flannel shirt over a ratted out black tank top wearing shredded khaki cargo pants and worn out sneakers. One of them has tape wrapped around it. Hey guy’s, my names Chester and I have absolutely no money, but that doesn’t mean I can’t have fun. When I win the money on Total Drama, I’ll finally be able to build that dream home with all these slabs. I could probably do it now if I use my knee to karate chop them, he then proceeds to use his knee on it and it backfires, cracking it in the process, *Aaaaahhhhhh* well I didn’t say I wouldn’t try.

Brody: HAHA is that dude funny or what

Geoff just remembered something; He was glad Mike was on his team and actually met him before he appeared on Revenge of the Island. He had heard of mike personalities because Trent told him about them. He was nervous for mike, but then Brody interrupted

Brody: Ah, you good bro

Geoff: Dude, that’s one of mikes personalities 

Brody: Oh shit dude

They ran over to Mike, Cameron was talking to him.

Cameron: Mike, are you alright

Mike: Yeah, but I’m wondering what would happen if Chester came out while the other Chester was in front of me, or doing a challenge at the wrong time. It’s bad enough I’m not on a team with Zoey, but now I have to deal with another guy named Chester, It really can get worse

Then Geoff Interrupted 

Geoff: Cheer up mike, It’s killing me that Bridgette isn’t on my team, but at least I got Brody, and you have Cameron

Cameron: And I know too much about your personalities to let them get in the way.

Brody: Yeah, and I also have my girlfriend here

MacArthur: Actually, I’m a Raging Bull-Dyke, but we are defenantly friends.

Brody thought about it for a moment, and then forgot about it, he was still disappointed, but at least they could still chill together.

Brody: Well I’m cool with it if you are

Mike: Wait, your not even mad

Brody: Hey, life’s too short to get mad forever, I’m still disappointed that I don’t have anybody though

Geoff: Cheer up bro, you have me

MacArthur: Hey, your good looking enough, you could get anybody

Brody: Your right, thanks guys

MacArthur: Anytime

Chris: Ok Team B, Heres your first camper for your team, Chester

Chester walks out from the stage and runs straight for the wrong team

Chester: Don’t worry guys, my knee healed up pretty good, Hey Chris

Chris: Hey Chester, you know where your team is right

Chester: Why wouldn’t I

Chris: Because that’s Team D 

Everyone on Team B laughs

Chester: I’m gonna guess Team B is the one laughing at me, right.

Chris: They’re the only ones laughing

Embarrassed, Chester quickly runs to the laughing teammates, he thought they’d all be sitting in a circle, hes then greeted by Geoff when he gets to his team

Geoff: HAHA, dude you are too funny

Chester: Yeah, I thought the sections were in a circle; I had no idea you guys were in the back.

Brody: Man, the way you hammer-kneed that slab, that had to hurt bro

Chester: Yeah, just turned out I broke my knee in a couple places, but other then that and having a couple screws put in, its totally fine now HAHA.

MacArthur: Try using knee pads next time

Brody: Yeah, That would defenantly break up all that concrete

The four of them laughed at that while Heather and Taylor glared at them

Taylor: Really, Why are you encouraging this idiot, Breaking something is not useful.

Chester: But it did help me come here, didn’t it

Heather: Oh please, the only reason they picked you is because Chris knew they could get ratings out of you and your retarded antics.

Chester: Oh wow, so this is what that guy Dillon warned me about 

Taylor: Um, who’s Dillon?

Chester: It’s a surprise

Just then Mike interrupted. He knew he had to warn him.

Mike: Hey Chester, you got a minute 

Chester: Yeah sure, what is it?

Mike: Have you ever seen anybody change into a completely different person at random?

Chester: Yeah, all the time, when my uncle drinks Moonshine Gin, He turns into an Angry Elf, When my mom drinks Whiskey, she turns into the Blob, and even my Grandpa will turn into a Bull when he has his favorite Scotch.

Mike and Cameron just looked at each other

Mike: Well, what if I told you I turned into an old man whenever I got frustrated?

Chester: Well I’ve never seen anybody turn into an old man after they drank something, but that sounds pretty cool.

Mike: What if I also told you I didn’t need a drink to turn into him?

Chester: Then you’re a pretty good actor I guess, why, does this old guy have the same name as me, or something?

Cameron: That is exactly right.

Chester: Wow, that’s pretty crazy, but I guess its cool, you must be a pretty good actor then. How many characters you come up with.

Mike: Just 3 More, Chester’s the old guy, but then there’s Vito, Manitoba Smith, and Svetlana.

Chester: Awesome, well I can’t wait to meet all of them.

This was easier then they thought

 

Backstage

Esmeralda: Well that guy seemed retarded, how do you fucking mistake your own team

Sandy: Oh please, it was probably just an honest mistake

Mario: But nobody could possibly be that stupid

Dillon: Whatever, I do stupid shit just to get a rise out of people, doesn’t mean I can’t be intelligent either.

Mario: Oh, I bet your very Intelligent, that doesn’t excuse acting stupid just for the sake of being stupid.

Dillon: And I thought you were supposed to Rescue the Princess, you sound more like Bowser.

Everyone laughed at that except for Mario and Esmeralda

Esmeralda: What the fuck is that even suppose to mean!

Then Sandy stood up, she was fed up with their bullshit

Sandy: You know what, I hope you both end up on the same fucking team because you’re both so fucking narcissistic its laughable in itself.

 

Outside

Chris: Crazy as that last guy is, I actually enjoyed him, but lets see who’s Team C’s first camper is…………………..Sandy from………………………Somewhere in America hopefully

Esmeralda: I’m glad you got called because I would have been eliminated from trying to mop the floor with your white ass.

Sandy: Threatening people, really mature

Outside, Sierra is ready to take notes

Sierra: The sad thing is she was the one new contestant I couldn’t find any information on

Noah: That isn’t stalkerlicious, looks like she hides herself very well.

Sierra stares at Noah while the tape plays

Sandy’s Audition Tape

The Cellphone Camera in this is just as bad as the last one. It then faces toward a girl sitting in a taxicab going at high speed. Shes wearing a pink tank top on top of a white one and black capri pants with tattered white hi tops. There’s also a scar on her face and left arm. Hi, my names Sandy and I want to be on total drama because I need the money. I’ve been an adventure girl all my life, I’ve been all across the country and I feel like Canada is the place to be. Even though the politics aren’t all there HEHE, it then cuts to the border patrol in front of them, we’re here, DRIVE FASTER. She then looks at the camera, Ahaha bye.

Sierra: Oh my god, did she get kidnapped in order to be on the show

Sanders: It could explain all those marks on her

Duncan: I doubt it, they don’t look fresh enough

Sierra: Well, she was kind of aggressive with that taxi driver, but how did she and the taxi driver get in the country, I didn’t see a passport or a visa anywhere in sight.

Noah: She did what the Mexicans did, ditched the taxi-driver, got a horse, dug a big trench, and her and the horse rode off into the sunset happily ever after, The End.

He then sees Sierra typing all this on her phone

Noah: Wow Sierra, you’re getting all this, because I’m impressed at how fast your typing.

Sierra just glared at him

Miles: Guys, maybe Sandy did sneak in the country but shes here now

Laurie: Besides, even if she is here illegally, it doesn’t mean she isn’t a person trying to better herself.

Josee: Oh shut the fuck up! This girl cannot compete if shes here illegally, and I’m going to make sure she goes home first.

Everyone glares at her

Laurie: Yeah, with what army

Josee: Our finest Canadian police force obviously, right Sanders

Sanders: I’m not the immigration department

Josee: *Aaaaahhhhhh*

Chris: Well shes defiantly come to the right place, Team C your new camper, Sandy

Sandy walks to the front of the stage, unaware of what just happened outside. She looks out into the audience and Chris is waiting

Chris: So Sandy, where exactly do you live?

Team C Stares at her

Sandy: Well I use to live in New Mexico, but I just had this urge calling me to go around the country. I did for over a year, but then I finally thought about trying to go around the world after I’ve been to almost every state, but I don’t have the money. I guess Canada seemed like the easiest place to go.

Chris pondered what she said for a moment and shrugged his shoulders

Chris: Good enough for me, you’re On Team C

Sandy: Ok

If only it were that easy, there was no way she was going say what she actually went to Canada for on national TV. It was way too dark to even think of. She had been through so much in her life, and this was the ticket that might save her. It was a dumb decision, but after seeing that commercial while locked in a prison work camp for theft, she knew she had no other option that she could think off. The day she got released from the work camp, she got what little money she had, bought a passport, got a taxi, and never looked back.

But now the other campers had questions

Josee: All right, I want answers, why are you really in this country?

Sandy: Why is it any of your fucking business, you don’t even sound like you come from Canada either.

Josee: That’s because I’m from Quebec

Sandy: Oh wow, that french accent is quite convincing, so tell me, how did Jacques drop your uptight ass onto the Ice during the Olympics

Josee: You fucking

But sanders interrupted her

Sanders: Back off Josee, so Sandy, how are you liking Canada?

Sandy: Well I’ve only been here for two months, but I didn’t know applying for citizenship was so expensive.

Sanders: You know what, I know a couple of guys that can help you out with that, you’re in good hands.

Sandy: Oh, I mean, really that’s great, thanks

Sanders: Anytime

Just then Duncan appeared

Sandy: Hi, you must be Duncan

Duncan: Well that’s what they call me

Sandy: Well your not hard to miss, how’s Courtney or Gwen or Whoever

Duncan: Oh fine, they’ll probably never talk to me again, but what do you expect, women want me I guess

Sandy: Oh, because you’re on TV and they all think your gods gift to them, that’s cute.

Duncan: I’ve had worse, but can I ask you a question? How did you get those scars? Those aren’t fresh, and they look like they’ve been there a while.

Sandy’s scars were something she’d rather forget, but she had to answer him.

Sandy: Oh well, the one on my arm I got when I was 11, I was playing around and accidentally scraped the side of it onto a hook, that one took a lot of stitches and the one on my face has been there since I was really little, so I don’t remember when I got that.

Duncan: Well it defenantly don’t look like a birthmark; it was probably the joker who did it.

Sandy: HAHAHA

If only that were true

Duncan: Well I guess I’ll see you around

Sandy: HAHAHA Yeah ditto

 

Backstage

Esmeralda: Glad that bitch is gone, she got on my last good nerve

Mario: I don’t think it takes any nerve to make you upset

Jaquan: Yeah ya’ll niggas are all straight tripping

Mario: Well I’m sorry I’m not hood rich and disrespect the law. My family would disown me If I treaded down that path

Jaquan: Whatever, you just a bitch anyway

Esmeralda laughed at that

Mario: Well you’re the one to talk, you probably dropped out of high school, your family lives off of welfare, and your selling Crack out the truck of your car just to make a living.

Jaquan: Nigga, shut the fuck up! I don’t even have a car

Mario: So you just proved my point, that was easy, are you really this stupid.

Esmeralda interrupts them

Esmeralda: Wait, you sell Crack?

Jaquan: Nigga FUCK NO, this guy just making shit up

Mario and Esmeralda Groan 

 

Outside

Chris: And Finally Team D your First New Camper is…………………………..Mario from New York City

Anne-Maria: Woohoo, an actual Guido 

Mario: Great I’m on an Island Full of Misinformed Idiots, its Long Island City, NY

Mario’s Audition Tape

We’re sitting In an Italian Restaurant. At the corner of the restaurant sits a guy dressed up in white polo shirt, Ironed blue jeans, black sneakers, and a I-watch. I believe in the fancy things in life, He says. I am a first generation born Italian American, and people think I have to fit the stereotype of one of those Jersey Shore rejects. I have standards you know. I want to be on this show because I want to show the world that Italians are more then Guido’s, or Waps, or Ginny’s because we’re more then that. Canadians have no Idea what they’re in for. I’m actually smart and have class, unlike those who pretend to do it for monetary reasons.

Alejandro: Yeah, a real class act Anne-Maria, Don’t you agree

Anne-Maria: Ok, maybe I was wrong then

Jen: Well he is defenantly well put together 

Tom: But those black sneakers do not fit the aesthetic 

Jen: Yeah, I would have gone with white 

Anne-Maria: Well, whatever he is he doesn’t sit right with me at all, what with the perfect hair, ironed clothes, he looks like one of Alejandro’s friends

Alejandro: I have never met this guy in life, and besides he won’t fare well in any challenges

Anne-Maria: I guess we’ll see about that then won’t we

Chris: Team D your new camper, Mario

Mario comes out and is furious at Chris

Mario: It’s Long Island City, NY, Not New York City, do you know geography.

Chris: How do you think I found this Island

Mario: Probably google maps, or maybe had Chef look it up for you

Chris: Just get to your team.

With that Mario walks to his team, they all seem very uneasy about him 

Alejandro: Greetings 

Mario: Save your manipulation, I know all about you

Alejandro was shocked, he never met somebody as intelligent as him, but looking at him gave him an idea

Alejandro: How can you assume my nature so soon? When I haven’t even gotten to know you yet

Mario: Maybe because on Total Drama World Tour, you got everyone eliminated single-handedly. Seriously, you make hispanics look bad with your portrayal as the cunning latin lover who will do anything to get ahead, well I’m telling you that’s not going to happen very easy for you.

Alejandro: Ah, but you are forgetting something, with the shape that you are in, you couldn’t possibly compete in all of these competitive challenges using mere intellect, Tu gordo y gordo (you fat fucking ginny)

Mario: Oh, so you resort to name calling in spanish, real mature, I know exactly what you said, and I’m not going to hesitate to bring it up because we are on TV if you haven’t noticed.

Alejandro: I am certainly aware of that, but you also cannot be boastful about your heritage.

Mario: But you boast about your heritage all the time. Besides it obviously makes you look bad. You think actual hispanics would deceit every single person they come across just to get ahead in life.

Alejandro: I have been doing it successfully for years, why stop now?

He then pauses for a second

Alejandro: Mario is it; it sounds like that Italian video game character

Mario is now furious

Mario: How dare you compare my heritage to that, does it look like my father is a plumber. I already had one of the contestants behind the curtain asking me to Rescue the Princess.

Everyone laughs at this

Alejandro: But you look more like Bowser

Mario: You know, I’m fully aware of that now thank you, but you are still a deceitful liar who is a disgrace to your own heritage.

Anne-Maria Interrupts

Anne-Maria: Are you both seriously fighting about who’s heritage is the best?

Alejandro and Mario look at each other

Crimson: Wow a team full of narcissists, shocking

Bridgette: It’s like Alejandro has met his match and he can’t accept it

Crimson: I’d watch out for the other guy though

Gwen: You think so

Crimson: I’m aware of Alejandro being manipulative, but he has good looks and charm. The other guy has his intelligence, which can be a dangerous thing in the wrong hands.

Gwen: Yeah, didn’t you see how easily he pointed out the flaws in Alejandro’s logic

Bridgette: He can easily sway someone to form an alliance

Crimson: Intelligence comes in many different forms, and by the way this guy acted, we have to tread carefully, we could be next, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Gwen and Bridgette looked at each other confused, but they understood

Chris: Alright campers that’s 4 Down and 4 to go. Hopefully these next campers are ripe for the picking. I must have had thousands of audition tapes, but I picked who I picked because they bring what I want, more drama HAHA. So lets see who the last camper for Team A is.

 

Backstage

Dillon: Wow that guy was an asshole 

Megan: I really hope I’m not on that team either

Dillon: Well now that the truth is out I’m probably going to be sent home first. Hell, my brothers even duped the envelope the contract was in as the music college I wanted to go to. Good thing I read some of it before I signed it.

Megan: Don’t look at it like that, I know you don’t really like reality TV shows and think all of them are fake, but maybe they’re real people behind this.

Dillon: Maybe there are, but I’m not getting my hopes up. My sisters watching this routing for me to win, so I at least have to stay on for that.

Megan: That’s a great reason to keep going, how old is she

Dillon: She’s 10 and the youngest and only sister in a family of 6 kids

Megan: Wow, I have a little sister too, but she’s 13

Dillon: Yeah, I’m the second oldest one

 

Outside

Chris: All right campers, Team A’s second camper is……………………………..Dillon, who’s actually from New Jersey

Anne-Maria: Aaahhh why did Team A get the guy who’s actually from New Jersey, He probably looks like Vinny from Jersey Shore, guess I have to watch. 

Dillon: Shit! well it was nice talking to you, hope you like my fake audition 

Megan: HAHAHA ok

Dillon’s Audition Tape

We are in a bedroom full of posters of different bands and there seems to be two guys behind the camera jerking it and laughing their ass off. The short guy in the front of the camera has a shit-eating grin on his face. He’s wearing a white long sleeve shirt with black sleeves and a picture of a fish on fire on it. Black cargo shorts and black hi tops complete it. Go Dude, someone says, hey whats good, my names Dillon and I wanna be on total drama because I have what it takes to make it to the top, I’m gonna win that money and marry Chris’s wife. (Laughter ensues) What am I talking about, I wanna co-host the show with my favorite host. (More Laughter ensues) ok ok ok, I know my mom wants your babies and I know you’ll consider me because of it, so pick me please. (Then the laughter dies down) Tell me you’re not sending this in right, the camera shakes side to side indicating that it wont. Cool.

Team A was shocked, they were getting somebody who didn’t even want to be on the show on their team.

Except for Rock and Spud, They knew Dillon online and while watching the audition they couldn’t believe it. One of their american friends was going on the show, yet he had talked online about how much he hated reality TV shows. They couldn’t believe it and high 5’d each other

Trent: You know this guy

Rock: Yeah bro, we’ve never met him in real life, but he’s really funny online. Can’t believe he even auditioned. He’s never seen an episode of this show either.

Trent: That’s crazy, and he knows so much about the show too, looks like he plays guitar also

Rock: Yeah dude, he’s really good

Trent: Cool, can’t wait to see for myself

Meanwhile Emma and Carrie spoke to each other

Emma: Why would anyone audition for a show, and not take it seriously

Carrie: Yeah, it sounds like a horrible prank those guys pulled on him

Emma: And Chris actually allowed this to go through. That is completely illegal; He’s defenantly getting sued.

Carrie: Maybe he feels differently about it though, I mean it’s been a while since that audition tape, and he’s here now, so theres really nothing we can do about it.

Emma: *sigh* I guess your right, he kinda reminds me of a crazier Noah anyway

Both girls laughed at that

Chris: Team A, your final camper is Dillon

Dillon walks out coolly and calmly

Chris: So you want to marry my wife huh?

Dillon: I don’t know, you married?

Chris: Maybe, but I would never tell you that now would I?

Dillon: Then I will assume you fuck your neighbor’s dog, cause apparently that’s legal in Canada.

The audience laughed, some gasped

Chris: I have every right to remove you from this show!

Dillon: Actually you cant; the contracts are sealed real tight on who can walk out of here. Unless in a medical emergency, persons cannot obtain a request to.

Chris: Did you actually memorize the contract! 

Dillon: Maybe 

Chris: Just get to your team

Dillon: K 

He then sees that his online friends are on his team

Dillon: ROCK, SPUD, My Canadian body doubles, what is good my dudes.

Spud: huh……………DILLON!!

Dillon: Damn dude, he really does have a slow reaction time HAHA, hes good though

Trent: That was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen, you got Chris so pissed off

Dillon: What that Hugh Jackman wannabe, he had it coming; one thing I can’t stand in life is fake people.

Trent: Yeah that is so true, so you play guitar right, what music are you into.

Dillon: I listen to everything, I mostly listen to metal/hardcore, but I like to keep myself open so I don’t become stale with my playing.

Trent: So how’d you know so much about the show if you’ve never even heard about it or seen an episode?

Everyone on Team A stares at him curiously

Dillon: I knew this was coming, but the reason is because my sisters a huge fan of the show. However, I did watch the first episode of the last season when those 4 girls were thrown out of the plane.

Sky, Sammy, Jasmine, and Ella look at themselves, then at him

Sammy: Really

Dillon: Yeah, I had to watch it with my sister once when she was really sick. Usually I’d just say nah, but that one day I did. Besides your defenantly the pretty one, your sisters a fucking bitch

Sammy was shocked, but it was a good thing Amy didn’t hear it

Sammy: Well, I mean everyone likes her more, even when the season ended they preferred her over me.

Dillon: That’s because people suck and only look at the surface. Personally I prefer if someone had a great personality to match also.

This made Sammy blush a little

But Carrie Interrupted 

Carrie: But why did those guys in your audition tape pull such a heinous prank?

Dillon: Because I guess they wanted me to meet more people outside of my 4 brothers and band mates. Now that I’m here though, I might as well do the best I can. Theres no sense in backing out now that I’ve signed the contract.

Carrie and Emma look at each other

Emma: Ok, I’ll believe you, but ill be watching you.

Dillon: Cool

 

Backstage

Everyone was cracking up at what Dillon said earlier

Jaquan: Shit bruh, that nigga crazy as fuck

Esmeralda: Yeah but the audition tape was still a fake, you can’t do that

Jaquan: Bruh, didn’t you hear what that dude said about the host fucking that dog.

Esmeralda: I don’t care whose dog got fucked; this is still a REALITY SHOW, not the FAKE ASS AUDITION SHOW.

Jaquan: Nigga fuck you talking bout fake, Yo weave didn’t grow itself

Esmeralda: No tengo un tejido tu maldito idiota (i don't have a weave you fucking idiot)

Jaquan: What the fuck you say, I can’t speak chinese motherfucker

Meanwhile, Megan was glad that she wouldn’t have to share a team with either of them. They were absolutely intolerable to be around.

 

Outside

Chris: After the shock of what that guy just said, I gotta announce the final camper for Team B, so Team B, your final camper is…………………………Megan, from sunny Florida

Megan: Thank god

Megan’s Audition Tape

We are in a bedroom covered with gaming posters, a few dance trophies, and an Inuyasha Doll sitting beside a girl with a white tank top with the Fallout Symbol on it. Shes wearing blue earrings, dark blue capris, and black low-top sneakers. She seems nervous. Hi, my names Megan and I wanna be on total drama because I have nothing better to do this summer. I would probably start playing the latest fallout series when it comes out and hide in my room all day HAHA. My parents tell me I should get out more though, so I guess this is one way to do it. (Her basset hound then walks in the room, jumps on the bed, and takes a shit) Oh my god, really, and my cameras out of memory too, now I gotta clean this up, I hope you guys pick me, sorry about that.

Katie and Sadie: Awww that dog is sooooo cute! 

Sam: But by that ultra-rare Fallout Emblem in the background, looks like I’ve met my match

Dakota glared at him

Sam: But she can never be compared to the Dakota-zoid

Dakota: Thanks Sam

Meanwhile Chet and Lorenzo were talking

Chet: So they picked her because her dog took a shit, really

Lorenzo was in a daze, he had never really had a girlfriend, and this girl took him by surprise.

Chet: Ahh I see, you like her

Lorenzo: I do not; I was just daydreaming about what the challenges would be like.

Chet: Yeah ok, I believe you

Lorenzo: Maybe they’ll have those albino rabbits all over the place and they’ll have chemical waste dumped on them, and well have to catch them with our bare hands.

Chet: Just admit it, you like this girl 

Lorenzo: Ok maybe I do, but

Chris: Team B, your final camper is Megan

Chet: Ha, Here she is now, when she gets over here say something

Lorenzo gulps

Megan walked out and waved to everybody

Chris: Hi Megan, I assume you know where your team is

She then points exactly where Lorenzo is standing

Chris: Good girl now get over there.

Megan walks over to Team B and notices that Lorenzo is standing right in front of her.

Megan: Um hi, aren’t you Lorenzo from the Ridonculous Race

Oh shit, she watched the show, she knows who I am, fuck, say something

Lorenzo: Yep

Megan: Really, HAHAHA, you and your stepbrother are funny, how did you guys even become brothers anyway?

Well that’s easy enough, Lorenzo thought to himself.

Lorenzo: Umm, Well My dad is a Motivational Speaker and what happened was that Chet’s Mom went to one of his talks.

Chet then appears

Chet: Yeah, my mom was heavily depressed after my dad left her, I never really knew my father because he left when I was 5 and I haven’t seen him since. From what my mom tells me, I look a lot like him. Anyway, my mom did marry another guy, but he turned out to be a fucking abusive piece of shit. Sometimes we’d have to stay at grandma’s house for months because of him. She eventually divorced him and was convinced that she was unlovable. Then a friend suggested she go to a seminar with her. And met this guys dad.

Lorenzo: One day my dad comes home and says that he met this girl at one of his talks and it happened to be Chet’s Mom. Then I said nobody would ever be as good as mom was. You see, she died five years ago from ovarian cancer and it hit both of us pretty hard. I was still reeling from it, and I asked him what was so different about this girl. He said he didn’t know but he had a feeling that she might be the one. Shortly after that they started dating and told me she had a son that was my age. I told him flat out, I refuse to share.

Chet: You see, It was only me and my mom for the longest time, when she told me that the guy she met had a son my age I was pissed, I never wanted anybody else In my life. When she first had us meet, we hated each other, and we did for the longest time after that, even after they said they were getting married, whether we liked it or not.

Lorenzo: But then in a last ditch effort to get us to get along, they signed us up for this race around the world. They had to dupe us into signing the contract for it, but then we did it, and we realized how much we had in common. If it weren’t for that show, we’d probably still be fighting.

Megan: Ahaha, you didn’t need to give me your life story, but I completely understand now why you guys didn’t get along in the first place.

Just then Megan saw Junior. Her little sister had the biggest crush on him, but she wasn’t really going to let him know that.

Megan: Juniors on our team too

Junior: Huh? Oh yeah Hi.

Megan: Is your dad here

Junior: Oh, my dad couldn’t compete in it; there was an age limit, that’s probably why Chris got more campers. I don’t know why he got 88 people though.

Megan: But how did they let you come back here by yourself

Junior: Lets just say I had a pretty good lawyer.

Megan: You think you can handle the challenges here

Junior: Yeah, My dad got in the way of too many of them anyway, plus the fact that I’ve grown up a little since then.

Megan: Awesome, well good luck

Junior: Thanks

 

Backstage

It came down to only two more campers. Jaquan and Esmeralda stared in silence at one another hoping that they were not the last camper to go out there. There were also only two teams left, either C or D, which one either would be on would be up to Chris’s hand as both of them are sitting anxiously.

Jaquan: Well, now its just us

Esmeralda: Yep, and I’m glad I’m not on the same team as you

 

Outside

Chris: Well campers we only have two audition tapes left to view, Team C your final camper is……………………..Jaquan, who from the Motor City, Detroit, Michigan

Jaquan: Yeah son, wait your turn bitch

Esmeralda just stared at him, she was last

Jaquan’s Audition Tape

We are outside on a backyard porch, there is a boom box blasting some trap beats out of the speakers. Sitting in a lawn chair is a black guy with short black dreadlocks and gold teeth to match. Hes wearing a Detroit lions tank top over a black shirt, red skinny jeans, and very nice white Nike's. Ya ready know how it is, he begins, Ima be on total drama because I’m number 1 and I need that money. I wanna get out these projects, ain’t no cars made here, we blew them all up. Then he takes a sip out of the red solo cup he had on top of the boom-box, ahhhhh, we don’t play around in these streets B, give me that gat. Another person hands him a glock 17, this what Ima do to ya’ll niggas if I don’t get my money, *pop* *pop* *pop* the music then stops. Nigga you just shot up your own radio, says the friend on the other side of the camera. Jaquan then looks horrified, oh shit that ain’t even mine, I hope ya’ll pick me. He then proceeds to run off, and then the camera fades to black.

Izzy: Aha, wow he sure knows how to use a gun huh

Leshawna: Are you out of your fucking mind, that dude deserves to be in jail

Scott: Relax, he only shot his own radio, a fucking idiot if you ask me, I’ve shot guns too, but they were a lot bigger then that pathetic glock 17

Everyone stared at him

Leshawna: You know about guns

Scott: Yeah, my grand pappy use to take me shooting all the time, he knew all about guns, he had a whole collection, but then again they were mostly hunting rifles.

Stephanie: Well your grand pappy didn’t grow up in the hood either did he?

Scott: Why would he want too?

Meanwhile Lightning was pissed and Scott noticed

Scott: Hey Lightning there are more people out there who are also number one, how does that make you feel buddy?

Lightning: Sha-Please, there can only be one number one and Lightning is number one.

Leshawna: Um, Lightning, you don’t want to prove yourself to this guy, he could have a gun

Stephanie: Girl please, how would they let a gun on the island

Leshawna: Do you know Chris, he would do something like that, allow a hood rat to come on the show unannounced, pop a cap in our asses, and say it was the first challenge.

Everyone looked at her, but Chris already said it

Chris: Team C, meet your final camper Jaquan

Jaquan: Detroit represent, Ya ready know how it is, I want my money motherfucker

Chris: Um-mm, but you have to do the challenges first

Jaquan: All right, you won’t let me bring my weapons, but that don’t mean I can’t try beating dat ass, nigga.

Chris: Chef take care of this problem for me will you.

Chef proceeds to literally throw Jaquan into his teams section, but he threw him onto Amy by accident.

Jaquan: How you know I prefer white girls

Amy: Uuugghhh As If

Amy then proceeds to punch him in the stomach

Jaquan: Aw man, that always seems to happen when I’m around them

Leshawna is Pissed

Leshawna: Who the fuck you think you are?

Jaquan: Not a fucking hippo, you fat bitch

Leshawna then proceeds to kick him in the stomach

Leshawna: Boy, why am I not surprised you weren’t raised right

Then Lightning walk over to him

Lightning: There can only be one number one and that’s lightning

Jaquan was confused, but he got up

Jaquan: Nigga, the fuck you talking bout, ain’t no lightning in here, get yo Sisqo ass outta here

Lightning: Who’s Sisqo?

Jaquan: Damn nigga you got amnesia or something, you’re Sisqo, you wrote the Thong Song like 20 years ago B. I didn’t know you played football also, so that’s why we haven’t heard yo ass in years.

Stephanie and Leshawna: His name is Lightning 

Jaquan froze for a second

Jaquan: Your name may be Lightning, but you straight ain’t number one

Lightning: Sha-Please Lightning always carries his team to victory, and you motherfucker are Sha going home.

Jaquan: Nigga this ain’t the sha-money dance, and you sure as fuck ain’t Bobby Shmurda, I’m gonna be the one getting this money. 

Meanwhile Scott appears

Scott: Wow it really feels like Super Bowl Sunday doesn’t it, from here it’s looking like the quarterback and the running back are about to do a coin toss, could you two be any fucking stupider.

Jaquan: Nigga who the fuck are you talking too. Fucking opie looking ass, ain’t yo dad the sheriff, he shoulda locked yo mamma for making your ginger ass.

Scott: You know, as much as I love Yo Mamma on MTV, I certainly watch loving her on welfare. See, I love making sitcoms out of unfortunate events.

Jaquan was pissed

Jaquan: Nigga are you trying to get bent.

Scott: What bent out of shape from talking too much.

Jaquan then realized it wasn’t worth it, he was getting tired anyway and Chris was about to reveal the final camper, he’d have to wait to get all these niggas back.

 

Backstage

Esmeralda turned out to be the last camper to not be revealed yet, and she was pissed. She already knew she was on team D, but so was Mario and as far as she was concerned he was a fucking know-it-all who liked to brag about how intelligent he was.

 

Meanwhile Outside the new campers reflected that including Sandy

Sandy: Well, guess I was right, when the narcissistic couple fight together, they might as well stay together.

Mario was also worried

Mario: And now I’m on the same team as that Volatile Women, if I can help it, she will get voted off first.

But others just did not give a shit

Jaquan: Well that one white girl punched me in the stomach; maybe the redheaded bitch is a little nicer.

He then approaches Izzy

Izzy: Hey, you must be Jaquan

Jaquan: Girl, you have no idea the pain I went through to get to you

Izzy: So is that gun actually yours? Where’d you get it? Why do you call it a gat? Was that radio yours too?

Jaquan: HAHA, Girl you crazy as fuck, I ain’t no snitch.

But then Chris announced the final camper for team D

Chris: Alright Team D your final camper and the final camper to join the contest overall is Esmeralda, from San Diego, California 

Esmeralda’s Audition Tape

We are on the beach; the camera is looking at a 250lb Mexican Woman sitting on a beach chair with cheap sunglasses on. She’s also wearing a grey tank top, red short shorts, and white sneakers. Hi everyone, you are looking at the women who will win total drama, and look good while doing it. Everyone doesn’t call me the big renia for nothing. I am confident that the challenges will help me succeed. I know many people are routing for me, even if they don’t want too. My goal on this show is to win the money and maybe lose a few pounds. I know you Canadians have never met a girl like me, and you defenantly never will again. She then blows a kiss to the camera and says, ill be coming for you HEHE.

Tyler: Ha, more like 100 pounds Ami-right

Some laughed, others just stared

Sugar: That little Mexico thinks she can steel my thunder, well she gonna have another thing coming, and what in fucking tarnation is a big renia?

Tyler: What thunder are you talking about?

Sugar: Well with all that fancy jewelry on her, she looks like she won all kinds of pageants and things.

Meanwhile, Dawn was busy trying to study the auras of each new contestant, and it didn’t look good.

Dawn: I sense that Mario has malicious intent, and Esmeralda will sabotage anyone she sees fit. Their Auras are extremely cloudy.

DJ: Yeah I’m not trusting either of them, that Mario guy makes Alejandro look good. 

Dawn: I feel like your aura is attached to your mother.

Dj froze

DJ: Can I ask you?

But Dawn cut him off

Dawn: Dj I have been reading auras since I was a child, and it has been a skill I’ve developed over time. What I can see in you is you have a pure heart, its nothing to be ashamed of. 

DJ: Wow, that’s amazing, but how can you sense what Mario and Esmeralda are going to do when the competition heats up? 

Dawn: Only when the time comes, but I know they won’t last very long and misfortune will plague one of them in the long run.

DJ: I hope your right

Then Chris introduces Esmeralda

Chris: Team D, meet your final camper and the final camper to compete Esmeralda

Esmeralda: Thank you, Hi Everyone, Make Room for the Big Renia, she WILL WIN this

Chris: I bet you will, I have faith in you *wink*, I can assume you know where your team is?

Esmeralda: Ever since the second guy came out, I knew

Chris: Ok

Sugar is staring at this girl, she then approaches

Sugar: All right le cuckarack, you may be the pageant queen in Mexico, but up here, I fucking rule the roost.

Esmeralda: Actually honey, there’s no such thing as le cuckarack. If you’re trying to say cockroach, it’s la cucaracha. Didn’t you ever learn Spanish?

Sugar: I know what a cockroach looks like, I chop them up all the time and I ain’t no honey, you’re the one who ate all the honey, Winnie the Pooh.

Esmeralda: Bitch, at least I don’t try to look and act like Honey Boo-Boo. I’ve seen your season, and your fucking disgusting.

She then farted

Sugar: I’m sorry, what was that, I’m fucking disgusting; two can play at that game

She the farted even louder

Sugar: Yeah, Now who’s the pageant queen

Esmeralda: Ok, but when the fuck have I ever said I was a pageant queen, I’m the big renia, which means I’m the queen in Spanish. You would have known that if you actually taken Spanish.

Sugar: Now why would I want to take another language, when English is fine by me? 

Esmeralda: Because there are people around you that do.

Sugar: Ha I’m fine learning Spanish off the Taco Bell menu.

Esmeralda just walked away. This bitch was just way too ignorant to be helped, but she kinda knew what to expect with sugar. She had watched Pahkitew Island and saw how she behaved in it. It wasn’t going to affect her though, and she was here to win at all costs. 

Now that all the campers were settled into teams of 22 people, it was time to choose the team names. Chris had picked pretty good names this year.

Chris: Alright campers that’s everybody, now I can finally get down to real business. So there are 4 teams of 22 this year, this is going to be crazy HAHA. I also picked out the team names again.

Everyone waited in anticipation.

Chris: Team A you’re know as the Ravenous Roadrunners

With that he threw a flag at team A, but Jasmine caught it

Ennui: I like that

While B just gives him a thumbs up

Chris: Team B you’re know as the Harrowing Skylarks

Jo caught that flag

Jo: Ha, my grandmother’s car was scarier then that name.

Chris: Team C you’re known as the Terrifying Thunderbirds

Nobody caught the flag on team C, but Rodney went over to grab it

Lightning: Sha-what, it should have been Lightning that named the team, it should have been sha-lightningbirds

Chris: And finally team D you’re known as the Arduous Rams

Jacques caught the flag

Sugar: My Pa has one of those Arduous Rams

Chris: So, now that we have our team names, can anybody guess a number between 1 and 50 million?

Everyone was stunned

Heather: Theres a chance there could be 50 million dollars

Taylor: My parents don’t even have that much money

Chris: I’m waiting

Tyler: 50 Million

Chris: No

Then many of the other campers tried coming up with the numbers

Alejandro: 40 Million

Noah: 51 Million

Chris: Nothing over 50, Noah

Dillon: 52 Million

Chris: Seriously

Ellody: If we look at how many contestants we have, we have 22, so the answer should be 22 Million.

Chris: That is correct. Smart girl gets immunity from the next challenge, which starts as soon as this is done.

Everyone: What?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ravenous Roadrunners: B, Carrie, Courtney, Dillon, Ellody, Emma, Ella, Ennui, Ezekiel, Lily, Lindsay, Jay, Jasmine, Justin, Owen, Rock, Ryan, Sammy, Sky, Spud, Trent, Zoey
> 
> Harrowing Skylarks: Blaineley, Brody, Cameron, Chester, Chet, Dakota, Devin, Eva, Geoff, Harold, Heather, Jo, Junior, Katie, Lorenzo, MacArthur, Mary, Megan, Mike, Sadie, Sam, Taylor
> 
> Terrifying Thunderbirds: Amy, Beth, Duncan, Izzy, Jaquan, Josee, Kitty, Laurie, Leonard, Leshawna, Lightning, Max, Miles, Noah, Rodney, Sanders, Sandy, Scott, Shawn, Sierra, Stephanie, Topher
> 
> Arduous Rams: Alejandro, Anne-Maria, Beardo, Brick, Bridgette, Cody, Crimson, Dave, Dawn, DJ, Esmeralda, Gwen, Jacques, Jen, Mario, Mickey, Scarlett, Staci, Sugar, Tammy, Tom, Tyler


	2. Lost in the Forest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last time on Total Drama Belle Grande, we were introduced to eight new Campers. We got to know them a little bit thanks to their audition tapes, and Chris has announced the teams. Now with the 22 Million Dollars at stake and the first challenge just minutes away, what will finally become of all of these Campers?

Everyone on the Island was still trying to process how much money was involved this season. How could they come up with this much money? It made sense because of how many people were on each team, but how can Chris gamble that much?

Alejandro: That is a lot of money to offer 1 person.

Anne-Maria: Who Cares? Money is Money!

Esmeralda: Yeah, and I’m gonna win it

Sierra: I wonder where he’s getting all that money?

Noah: With Chris’s logic, I wouldn’t be surprised if he stole it from the Bank of Canada.

Chris: Now you’re probably wondering where I would get so much money, but that’s not important, you have to complete the challenges first.

Everyone Glared at Chris

Scarlett: So where exactly is the first challenge?

Chris: Walk over to the old elimination area on top of the cliff. Chef will be there!

And with that, the Roadrunners, Skylarks, Thunderbirds, and Rams walked over while getting to know each other in the Process.

Lindsay: Hey Beth

Beth: What is it Lindsay

Lindsay: My team is so awesome, I have Sleeping Beauty on it, and she sings

Ella: Hello friends, care for a song

Beth: Maybe later, we have to do a challenge first OK.

Lindsay: Hey, maybe it’s a singing challenge.

Ella: Oh I sure hope so; I hope Chris doesn’t scare the animals. That would be dreadful.

Back at the Rams, Staci is telling Mario all about her relatives

Staci: My Great, Great, Great, Great, Aunt Millie invented squares, before her people had to figure out how to build a house with rectangles

Mario: Really, My Great, Great Grandfather was the best cabinetmaker in all of Naples. He had to build everything by hand, as there was no such thing as power tools.

Staci: And my Great, Great, Great, Great Uncle George invented floors and

Mario: Really, how can you invent floors, they had floors since the earth has existed. Either your relatives are fake, or you’re a compulsive liar.

Staci: Oh, but my Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Grandpa came to America first, before him, America was run by Indians.

Mario: Are you saying your related to Christopher Columbus, or did you’re relatives come on the Mayflower?

Anne-Maria: Just let it go, she doesn’t know when to quit.

Staci: You’re right; my relatives were just so great.

Jaquan on the other hand had a Mission

Jaquan: Boi, wit all this money, bitches gonna be beggin’ to be wit me, but what up wit all these crazy ass hoes on this Island. One punched me in the stomach, and another one crazy as fuck. Theres so many of them 

He then spots Dawn

Jaquan: This one gonna be easy as hell B

He then walks over to her, but Dawn already got a very negative aura from him.

Dawn: You had a terrible childhood, but just because the little girl that was sympathetic to you happened to be white doesn’t mean that you have to exclusively pursue them.

Jaquan froze for a second and left.

Jay and Mickey were discussing their teams so far

Mickey: I’m on a team full of raging psychopaths; I might as well become soft meat just for them. 

Jay: My teams ok, they all seem nice, especially Ellody. She’s really smart and

Mickey: Jay do you have a crush on her

Jay: What, no, besides, I thought girls only like us when they ask if we have an emergency contact.

Mickey: Your right, hey you think Chris got our memo from all our doctors.

Jay: I doubt it, but it hasn’t stopped us before, we did get pretty far in the race

Mickey: I just hope we don’t come in last in this challenge

Jay: I hope so too. Well, there’s Chef, might as well get to my team. 

Mickey: Ok 

 

Everyone is now on their respective teams waiting for Chris to announce the challenge. He then appears out of nowhere.

Chris: Alright Campers, there are 88 of you on this Island, which makes for a good season, but I had other ideas. This is only our second time on this island, and we made many changes to it.

All of the Pakiteaw Island Campers that were on that season were shocked. What changes did Chris do to the Island?

Scarlett: Well I can’t imagined you removed the secret control center

Chris: Yes Scarlett, most of the artificial computer controlled portions of the island have disappeared thanks to you. When the EPA saw the island, and the animatronic animals, they ordered a complete renovation of it, so now it’s back to the way it was when I found it.

Laurie: That’s wonderful news

Miles: Yeah, now all the wildlife can be free and happy here 

Chris: Yeah, Don’t remind me! At least I managed to keep some of them for your amusement HEHE. Anyway as I was saying they were also appalled at the sleeping arrangements, so in order to please their lawyers I finally had Cabins built.

Topher: Wow Chris, how many are there.

Chris: They’re 5 brand new Cabins that are on this Island

Everyone, Especially the TDPI Cast, were relieved that they wouldn’t have to build a shelter. They didn’t need more moose knocking them over, but Chris was a man of many surprises.

Jasmine: But do we still have to forage for food?

Chris: As much as I’d like for that to be the case, No, Chef is going to be cooking up his world famous cuisine at the brand new mess hall they built over there.

Chef: Yep, and Y’ALL STILL GOING TO EAT IT THREE TIMES A DAY

Everyone gulped at his voice

Courtney: Wait a minute, you are saying a lot about our sleeping arrangements and Chef’s cooking, but you haven’t even mentioned the challenge yet.

Chris: But that is the challenge Courtney, The challenge is to find the Cabins and mess hall. They’re on the other side of the Island 

Eva: Really, that’s our challenge

MacArthur: Ha, this is easy

Chris: Ok, but is it easy if you don’t know where they are and there is no trail leading to them yet

MacArthur immediately recanted, but it was already dark out, and the Campers were getting tired. They really didn’t want a challenge like this

Harold: So we have to make a trail going to these Cabins

Chris: No, you just have to find them HEHE, I already know where they are

Jo: Please, this challenge is so easy, the last person who finds it is going home.

Chris: Actually, it’s the last person on your team that finds it will be going home.

Everyone: What?

Sierra: You mean 4 people are going home tonight.

Chris: There weren’t enough beds in the Cabin to keep everybody. Chef thought it was going to be 84 contestants.

Chef: That’s what I was told by the producers. Until you had to make it interesting and get rid of the 4 people I thought was going to be on the show.

Chris: You know, I would have fired you, but you turned it into a really interesting challenge for our Campers here.

Chef: HAHA you know me too well.

Chris: Campers, I’ll see you at the Cabins. Don’t be late HEHE

Everyone stared at each other, nobody wanted to come in last, but a challenge like this required a degree of teamwork. Since it was already dark outside and few people had flashlights, they had to split up and figure it out. Unfortunately, by then, Chris and Chef had already left in a helicopter that was waiting.

The only Two Campers that were figuring out how to cover the Island were Mary and Ellody. They were planning out how many square miles the island was. 

 

Mary: If we calculate the length and width of the island

Ellody: The approximate value would be 3.6 Square Miles long and 2.3 Square Miles wide

Mary: if we were to divide that in half

Ellody: It would be 1.57 

Mary: If I were to make an educated guess, the Cabins should be just over that mountain.

While Mary and Ellody were still coming up with their plan, others were trying to figure out where the Cabins would be. They had to find the fastest way to go through the forest. To do that everyone split up into groups of two to seven just for protection. If they were going to run around blindly, they would have to do it together.

Just then, Ellody made an announcement.

Ellody: Hello everyone, we have figured out the fastest way to do this.

Scarlett: The fastest way to do this would be to go through the forest I already calculated it.

Mary: Well we did have to consider the wildlife, and our chances of getting lost are high.

Ellody: So we propose going around the Island.

Everyone looked at each other

Jaquan: Nigga that money mine, I ain’t fucking gonna have Obama’s daughter tell me what the fastest way is.

Lightning: I’ll race sho-ass in the forest

Jaquan: See ya’ll motherfuckas at the Cabins

And with that, they both run into the forest. With Eva, Jo, and MacArthur running after them.

MacArthur: Oh no, that kid from Detroit is mine 

Jo: Hey get back here fuckers

Eva: Wait, We don’t even know where they’re going

MacArthur: Fuck that, they’re ahead of us.

Jo: Yeah, and I’ll be damned if Lightning actually finishes before me

Eva: That’s true, lets get those bastards

With this, the more Competitive Campers like Brick, Sanders, Sky, and Lily also started running through the forest. Tyler also started running toward the forest, but tripped over a log. He recovered quickly and kept going. Some people liked Mary and Ellody’s Idea, Including Jay and Mickey

Jay: Hey Ellody, Mickey and I are with you

Mickey: Yeah I don’t trust the forest this late at night anyway.

Mary: I’m glad you guys believe in the plan

Ellody: It is defenantly a much safer alternative then running through this forest where unknown creatures subside.

Bridgette: Yeah, getting lost in the forest is one of my worst nightmares, you guys ok if we follow Mary and Ellody

Geoff, Brody, Chester, and Junior agreed and with that they followed Mary and Ellody, but trouble was right behind them

Jacques: Josee we should go around the Island, they’re not going to find the Cabins running through that forest.

Josee: And that 22 Million will be ours easy.

Jacques and Josee: HAHAHAHA!

And they take off running ahead of Geoff, Brody, Bridgette, Chester, and Junior.

Junior: Hey watch where your going

Bridgette: Yeah, you almost killed us

Geoff: Bridge these people will do anything to be in first place

Brody: Yeah, those Ice Dancers weirded us out in the race, they even leap and run at the same time

Chester: Aw, come on guys, that doesn’t seem so bad, let me try it

He then imitates what he saw the Ice Dancers do, and actually manages to catch up to them.

Chester: Hey guys

Josee: What in the ever loving fuck, get lost you motherfucking redneck

Chester then tripped over a big rock, but landed on both Jacques and Josee in the process.

Chester: Oh, my bad, you guys all right

Geoff and Brody just laughed; he actually made them go ahead of the Ice Dancers.

Geoff: Bro, those people are bad news, come on

Chester: Well, see you guys later I guess

Jacques and Josee were pissed.

Meanwhile many groups have already left, either going around the Island or through the Forest. The bad news was that only 34 Campers decided to take the supposed safe way to the Cabins by following Ellody and Mary. The other 54 people decided to risk running through the forest, Including Sky and Lily.

 

Sky: I know this forest pretty well, but it does look a lot different then the last time I was here.

Lily: How So?

Sky: Well, it seems there have been a lot of trees planted here since then

Lily: But how can they grow so quickly? They couldn’t have put fake trees here.

Just then a sound of someone coming toward them made them run faster

Lily: what was that?

It was only Brick and Sanders

Brick: I’m so glad we ran into you guys, I was tempted to run into the forest after Jo, but I hate the dark.

Sanders: My partner did the same thing, but shes way ahead of us now.

Lily: Oh, that’s ok guys, since this really isn’t an actual challenge, you might as well join us.

Sanders: Yeah, this forest looks like something you could get easily lost in.

Brick: That right, in situations like these its imperative to never leave a cadet behind.

Lily: But theres so many people that are behind already.

Sky: Well who’s behind us now?

Sanders: I am not seeing anybody unfortunately, but we have to keep going, focus on getting to the Cabins alive.

As the four ran aimlessly through the forest, Sky still thought to herself about Dave. He had purposely gone with Mary and Ellody to avoid her, and as far as he was concerned, he didn’t want her. She had deceived him by revealing that she had a boyfriend, and he didn’t want her trust. Ezekiel and Harold were also with him by chance.

Dave: Why did I even come to this fucking Island, Oh right, because of my contract? I had no idea that fucking lying bitch would be there too.

Ezekiel: How do you think I feel, Eh, Chris never even gave

Dave: You a chance and you turned into a feral mutant because of it. I was left on the Island too after it was all over. Thank god they rescued me a day later, that bear would have eaten me by then.

Ezekiel: Yeah yo, I was going to say that, eh, but now I want Chris to pay for all the fucking shit he did to me that whole year.

Dave: Yeah, that bitch Sky caused me to lose all hope I had at ever finding a girlfriend, I really can’t trust anybody anymore.

Ezekiel: I don’t trust any of those Old Campers, eh, they’re just out to get me again and make me crazy.

Harold: But you did get found by the government, and turned back to normal 

Ezekiel: Oh yeah, it took them long enough eh, That lab I went to was crazy, they did all of this post-reversal therapy type shit on me for a whole year. They managed to get me to talk again.

Dave: Wait, if you don’t trust any of the Old Campers, why are you talking to Harold right now?

That was a good point. It turns out the only person from Total Drama Island that had any interest in how Ezekiel was found was Harold. He saw the article online and found he was now living in a group home near his house.

Harold: He was actually just sent to this group home near my house a week before I found the article. This intrigued me and I wanted to find out for sure if it was really Ezekiel.

Ezekiel: Yeah, after the lab thought I was fixed, they didn’t send me to my parents. They sent me to this crazy people house.

Harold: Um, I don’t think they call it that, but anyway Leshawna thought I was crazy, but I had to find out for sure it was him, so on a whim, I went there and sure enough he was there.

Ezekiel: Yo, when I saw Harold it was weird, he apologized to me, which I had never gotten from anybody else.

They all turn and see that Justin was staring at his reflection in the water

Dave: You know, I really hope this is a shortcut; I didn’t want anything getting dirty again.

Ezekiel starts to pick his nose

Dave: AHHHHHHHHHH

He then runs into the water, screwing up Justin’s Reflection.

Justin: Aw, you ruined my reflection, now I gotta go somewhere else

He then rushes back to Ezekiel 

Dave: You need hand sanitizer!

Ezekiel learned that many of the actions that caused his elimination were in part to never really experiencing or learning accepted social behaviors from his parents. He was determined to change it, but it wasn’t going to be easy.

Harold: Ezekiel, you have a lot to learn bro!

Meanwhile Justin has run off to an area where there weren’t any ripples. Sierra and Cody were watching all of this from behind

Cody: Hey Justin, haven’t seen you in a while

Justin: Yeah, seems I haven’t had any modeling contracts for a while, good thing we are getting a whole lot more money. This shortcut Mary and Ellody planned beats having to deal with animals clawing at my beautiful face.

Cody: Yeah, ok, just don’t stare at your reflection too long

Justin: Nah, you think those people that ran into the forest have a chance of finding those Cabins before us, it’ll be cool.

As Justin is still staring at his reflection, Cody and Sierra are walking around the coastline, Sierra doesn’t know too much about the new contestants, but updated her blog to include them. Unfortunately, she only knew about Sandy and Jaquan 

Sierra: I had somebody from my blog just give me Jaquan’s mixtape on Soundcloud, it sounds good.

Cody: HAHA yeah, Mario seems like an Alejandro clone, and Esmeralda doesn’t look like the type to mess with.

Sierra: I’m concerned about Sandy though; there is not one lick of information on her that I can find.

Cody: Well, we know she did take a taxi here from New Mexico.

Sierra: She also went through the forest before I could get the chance to interview her more

Cody: I wouldn’t worry about it too much Sierra

Sierra just sighed, she knew there had to be more information on her, but for now she would have to wait.

 

B, DJ, and Dawn also took the forest route. While they were wandering aimlessly through the forest, Dawn befriended a deer that was now guiding them toward their destination.

DJ: I didn’t know you talked to animals, and read futures.

Dawn: Being raised in a forest helps, besides, this deer knows the way, he saw the lumber being torn down to build the Cabins, and it was awful.

DJ: Yeah, I’ve always loved animals. The animals that I hurt in Total Drama World Tour gave me nightmares for a while.

Dawn: DJ, It wasn’t your fault.

DJ: I know, but I can’t help but think that I’m still cursed after that Aftermath Episode

Dawn: It was all planned by Chris, he exploited your love of animals for ratings

DJ: You know I never thought of it like that

Suddenly B directed them toward a running sound that was coming from behind. Turns out it was Duncan.

DJ: Hey Duncan

Duncan: Dude, Chris is fucking nuts, How are we gonna find these Cabins?

DJ: Follow this deer, Dawn speaks to animals, and it’s leading us to the Cabins right now.

Duncan: Yeah, Ok, Bambi looks like she makes a great navigation system

Dawn was going to retort, but she then saw somebody else in the distance running toward them. It was Sandy

Sandy: Hi, I am really glad I found you guys

Dawn was transfixed on Sandy, she had never seen an aura quite like this before, it was dark, but it was also, according to her, a very deep red and orange. It was very concerning.

Dawn: Sandy, what happened in your life before you came on this show was not your fault. You are an incredibly brave person for leaving.

Everyone just stared, including Sandy. She knew Dawn was perceptive, but she had no idea that she would know how she left her home in the first place.

Sandy: Um, thanks Dawn, are we following this deer to the Cabins?

Duncan: Yeah, Bambi’s making us feel at home right now

Sandy: HAHAHA, Duncan, you know Dawn talks to animals right.

DJ: Yeah, I was skeptical too, but then this deer went right up to Dawn, and started bobbing it’s head up and down at everything she said.

Duncan stood there for a moment. Sure, Dawn was weird, but he was also tired and hadn’t slept in a while. He was willing to do anything for a decent nights sleep.

Duncan: Ok, I believe her, now lets get to the Cabins

Dawn: Great, It sounds like you have learned your lesson from blowing up Chris’s Cabin, but your only believe me because you are tired.

Duncan froze at that, making Sandy laugh even more

The five then walked to the Cabins following this supposed magical deer, but Duncan had other lingering questions for Sandy, He had to admit, despite the fact that she had permanent scars on her face and one arm, she was quite attractive.

Duncan: I should have known Dawn talked to animals and read peoples minds

Sandy: That’s fine, It’s probably been a while anyway

Duncan: So, why did she act all weird when she read yours?

Sandy didn’t really know how to answer him, she had to tell him at least some of how she got on the show, but to tell him the whole truth, she wouldn’t know how he would react. She then decided it was best to steer the topic.

Sandy: Probably the fact that I also went to Juvie, but a different kind of Juvie. You ever heard of a Chain Gang.

Duncan: Yeah, isn’t that illegal

Sandy: Not in this jail, we actually lived in an open tent. The work camp was so popular, we even would have the County Sheriff sign autographs.

Now Duncan was interested in this girl. She had been to Juvie to; this was to good to be true. He was attracted to Courtney because she was uptight and he was convinced in his mind that he could convert her, which he sort of did, but he knew it wouldn’t last. She was way too headstrong. Gwen, on the other hand, while having the same interests as him, just didn’t feel the same way about him anymore. He could get use to this.

Duncan: Wow, how old were you?

Sandy: I was 17, I was actually one of the youngest people there, but I didn’t have anybody to bail me out, so I had to stay there for 6 months

Duncan: I’ve stayed at Juvie for a year once, but I can’t imagine going to a work camp for that long. That county sheriff or whoever must be like Chef.

Sandy: HAHAHA, No he was actually some Old Italian guy.

Duncan: Well, I guess if Joe Pesci were my warden, I would’ve gone to Jail more often.

Sandy: HAHAHA, I hope the fucking camp gets shut down. How long were you in jail after you blew up Chris’s Cabin?

Duncan: Not long, I was lucky my Mom got me a good lawyer

Sandy: Isn’t your whole family police officers?

Duncan: Well, my Mom was a nurse before she had kids, but for the most part yeah.

As Sandy talked to Duncan more, She saw that he was genuinely a nice guy. She knew that he was Mischievous and a Career Juvenile Delinquent, but she had been through much, MUCH, worse. She had been sent to the work camp for stealing money for the person she was in the car with. He had kidnapped her at gunpoint and ordered her to steal money from a till at an open register. She managed to get away with it, but security cameras caught it. Luckily, she was a minor, and was able to testify that she robbed the store against her will. The guy went to jail, but she didn’t trust the legal system. He would probably get out on parole, and do the same thing again, or possibly go after her, but for now, she was safe.

Also safe in the forest were Ennui and Crimson. They had walked happily into the forest together.

Ennui: Isn’t it beautiful, the dark forest is such a great place to get lost in.

Crimson: Yes, this forest reminds me of Transylvania

Ennui: And we have no idea of our destination. That is the best part of this whole challenge.

Crimson: But we are trying to find our Cabins for the night?

Ennui: Loki would’ve guided us, too bad we couldn’t bring him with us.

Suddenly a heard of bats flew right by them

Crimson: It would be wise to follow them, there flying toward that mountain up ahead.

Suddenly two bats appeared in front of them. Crimson stared for a moment, lost in thought, as she processed what these bats were thinking. Then they started to fly slowly ahead of them.

Ennui: Do they want us to follow them?

Crimson: It appears I was wrong, the bats are trying to guide us over this hill instead. They’re telling me that the Cabins are to the northeast of where we are now.

Ennui: Aw, I was hoping for the Cabins to be deep into the forest with no distractions.

Crimson: It’s a reality show!

Ennui: I hope the Ice Dancers are sent home early

Crimson: I have Jacques on my team, but yes, I hope so as well.

The Goths then follow the bats Northeast to their eventual destination. It was a good thing they were moving slowly, because the forest was tranquil to them. The ocean breeze around the Island was loud enough as it was.

 

Back around the Island, Justin had been preoccupied with his reflection for the past ten minutes, but Katie and Sadie saw him.

Katie: Oh my god, Sadie, its Justin

Sadie: Oh my god, How long has he been looking at his reflection in the water

Just then Justin snapped out of it

Justin: Hi ladies, gotta go

And with that, he runs off, But Katie and Sadie catch up.

Katie: Have you been looking at your reflection?

Justin: Maybe a little bit

Sadie: You’ve been there for quite a while and we might be in last place

Justin: Don’t worry girls; at least we’re not in the forest with all those other fucking retards.

Katie: Well with what happened to us in the forest in Camp Wawanakwa, I don’t want to risk getting into another fight with Sadie

Sadie: Yeah, besides its dark out. Who knows what kind of wildlife Chris kept on the island this time.

Justin had to admit, they were right, and as they past him, He saw another reflection of himself and started admiring it. If he wanted to stay in this game, he was going to have to focus, as soon as he stopped staring at his perfect blue eyes and ripped physique.

Up ahead a little bit, Leshawna and Stephanie were telling Ryan all about Jaquan. He was the first to eloquently speak of his disapproval of Mary and Ellody’s Idea by running into the forest with Lightning.

Ryan: Man this Jaquan guy sounds like a couple people in my neighborhood that I grew up with.

Leshawna: I didn’t trust that fool at first, but thank fucking god weapons are banned or we woulda been Chef meat.

Stephanie: Right, after what you told me about Chris, I can believe you. I don’t see a Cabin anywhere in sight though, are you sure this was a good idea.

Leshawna: Why would I want to be lost in the forest with a fool like Jaquan, as far as I’m concerned, that guy is more then lost at this point. Beside we not in last for our team.

Ryan: Yeah, and I saw Justin just staring out the ocean not moving a muscle. So I know I’m not going home if I get there last

Stephanie: You know the only people on our team I wouldn’t mind sending home is Josee.

Leshawna: I heard about her, she’s like a worse Heather, and the fact that she just assume Sandy was an illegal immigrant, like bitch so is Jaquan.

Stephanie: Yeah, we competed with her, Her and Jacques are ruthless. Ryan who would you vote off on your team.

Ryan: I don’t know babe, they’re all nice people, well except maybe Courtney.

Leshawna: Yeah, I don’t buy the ratchet ass counselor in training crap she pulls.

Stephanie: Umm, Girl what are you talking about?

Leshawna: Apparently, she use to work as a camp counselor before she was on Total Drama Island. Glad I ain’t go to that camp, I bet that ratchet ass ho would be worst then Chris.

Ryan: Well, she would want to get someone like Dillon off because his audition tape was sent without his permission and would make him an easy target.

Leshawna: Please, if anything hes like a shorter long haired version of Duncan with the personality of Noah; they’d be a great couple.

Stephanie: But he did make that dog-fucking joke straight to Chris’s face, Noah would be more elegant about it.

Leshawna: Well, he was Chris’s Assistant one time.

They all laughed at that and after being off topic for a while, their focus shifted to Jaquan.

Stephanie: I actually managed to find our friend Jaquan’s Sound-cloud.

Ryan: Well at least he has a hobby outside of shooting people huh

Leshawna: What are we waiting for, lets listen to this fool.

With that, Stephanie pressed play on the file called “Great White”. Surprisingly it had 10,000 plays and over 100 likes, but when they played it, they heard this

Niggas on that gat, yuh  
Make sure you ain’t tat, yuh  
Moppin’ all them ratchet hoes  
Then meet my friend named pat, ayy

Got them hoes on lock, yuh  
Wit this great big cock, yuh  
Thrust so hard, dat skin come off  
Turn into a great white

Stephanie stopped the file after that. Now her and Leshawna really wanted him to be the first one eliminated.

Ryan: Well, he is a pretty good rapper.

Stephanie: Yeah, this guy pretty much described kidnapping and raping women Ryan.

Leshawna: Now I really hope that fools lost in the forest.

Leshawna might have been right, Jaquan may have been lost, but he managed to keep up with Lightning for a while. They actually made it to the other side of the Island, but there were no Cabins in sight.

Jaquan: Damn Nigga, you fast as fuck, Ima take a fucking rest, hey where da fuck the Cabin at.

Lightning: Sha-What there are no Cabins, Lightning needs his beauty sleep.

Jaquan: Well we on the other side nigga and there ain’t buttfuck nothing over here.

It turned out they haven’t gotten to the Cabins yet because instead of going northeast where the Cabins were, they went northwest, making them lost, but not doomed. Jaquan then remembered something and started to point to the right

Jaquan: Ehyo didn’t that motherfucker helicopter go that way

Lightning then ran in the direction Jaquan pointed to. He wasn’t the type to sit around and find answers, he just figured it was what happened and rolled with it.

Jaquan: Damn Motherfucker, you just don’t fucking quit

Lightning: No way is Lightning going to lose this challenge to a girl

Jaquan: I ain’t no bitch nigga, you better bring yo ass back here

He started to chase Lightning in the direction they were going in now, where they were heading next only Chris could predict.

 

Meanwhile in another part of the forest, far away from them, Megan is with Sam, Dakota, Chet, Lorenzo, and Beardo. Dakota was back to her normal self thanks to how much money her dad spent on doctors, but when she got angry, she still could turn into Dakota-zoid when provoked.

Sam: This forest is feeling like one haunted PC game.

Dakota: At least the trees don’t throw apples at you like in the Wizard of Oz.

Sam: I’ve actually never seen that movie

Everyone stared at him

Chet: Are you kidding, that movies a classic

Sam: Yeah, I mean, my sister was in the school play for Wizard of Oz as one of those trees though. Strange, I don’t remember them throwing apples at all in the play they just stood around.

Chet: That’s probably because it was a fucking kid’s play; I wish they had thrown apples though, would’ve made it a lot funnier.

Beardo then makes a canned laughter effect; too bad no one noticed it was him.

Sam: What was that?

Dakota: It sounded like those people that laugh after someone says something funny in those shows.

Chet: You mean a sitcom?

Dakota: No I mean like in the Big Bang Theory, that

But Beardo Interrupted again with a perfect imitation of Sheldon saying BAZINGA, and then the canned laughter afterwards.

Dakota: See, there it is again

Sam: I could’ve sworn I was hallucinating.

Chet: Do you think Chris could have put random sound bites in the trees to play whenever you walked past them?

Sam: I doubt they have the technology to implement that kind of thing into trees yet.

Chet: Maybe he uses some kind of kismet software to trigger files from a remote location.

Sam: But how can he do that without having a environmental software programmer on the island, besides, I thought there was no electricity on this Island

Dakota: Then how did he play the audition tapes from that big movie screen?

Chet: Probably used a big generator to power it

Dakota: I should have known Chris would do something like that

While they were still wondering about supernatural sounds coming out of trees not knowing it was actually Beardo the whole time, right behind them was Megan and Lorenzo talking about Anime. Megan was surprised at how much he knew about Fooly Cooly.

Lorenzo: I actually showed Rock and Spud that show, Spud seemed to have a crush on Mamimi.

Megan: Well they’re both kinda slow HEHE.

Lorenzo: Yeah but even with Spud, she’d still be thinking about Tusuku

Megan: She’s still kind of a depressing character though. It’s like in the first episode she was constantly thinking about him, but by the sixth episode she just completely forgets about him and goes with the mechanical robot in episode 6.

Lorenzo: To be fair, they’re have been many depressing Anime's

Megan: I cried so hard to the ending of Anohana

Lorenzo: Oh yeah, the one where there’s five friends, and they have to get together and make peace with their one friend who died.

Megan: Yeah, didn’t think you knew that one

Lorenzo: Well I didn’t always watch Toonami and Adult Swim.

Megan: Most guys I know only know Anime from Toonami and Adult Swim, not that it’s a bad thing, but there’s always going to be more out there.

Lorenzo: If it weren’t for my older cousin I wouldn’t have known that Gundam had been around since the 70’s.

Megan: Although I wouldn’t watch the English Dub of the first season, that thing just bored me to tears.

Lorenzo: I can’t believe that things even still going, the fanbase is still strong for it I guess.

Megan: How does Chet like all this?

Lorenzo: Oh, hes into it too, Although He’s more of an Akira Toriyama fanboy

Chet: Hey Akira Toriyama didn’t just come up with Dragonball Z you know, He also did Chrono Trigger

Sam: Ha, I loved that game growing up, I downloaded an Emu of it on my PC a couple months ago and it was like it never left me. The graphics were kinda laggy though

Lorenzo: Yeah, encrypted Nintendo games are notoriously the hardest to download illegally.

Sam: Thank god I got Dakota to front me the money for my birthday or I probably would’ve gone that route.

Chet: I’ve stolen games online, but only old games that nobody makes anymore or forgotten about.

Sam: Yeah, but it’s better to be safe then sorry. When I can help it, I always try to buy the games I’m going to play.

Just then they heard heavy footsteps walking toward the forest and what sounded like bats.

Dakota: Oh my fucking god, Sam what was that?

It turns out it was the sound of Ennui and Crimson following a bat to their destination. While most people at the start of the challenge ran into the forest, the Goths just walked behind everyone, and now the two bats they befriended have stumbled upon the group of Campers. Beardo actually saw the Goths before everyone else and had an idea.

The sound of lightning from behind caused everyone to turn around and look at the Goths.

Dakota: Aaaaaaaeeeeeeehehhhhhhhhhh!

Sam: Oh, its you guys, you scared us there for a second.

Dakota: But where is the lightning coming from?

Crimson: Looks like your friend with the Afro and Beard has a hidden talent.

The group all stare at Beardo

Megan: Wait, you guys didn’t know Beardo did sound effects with his mouth.

Chet: Really, do that again

Beardo then did the sound effect again and everyone was floored except Megan. She had watched Pahkitew Island and was disappointed that he was eliminated first.

Dakota: Wait what about the Laughter Sounds

Beardo then did the canned laughter effect; this left everyone speechless, including the stepbrothers

Lorenzo: Why isn’t this guy doing sound effects for movies?

Chet: I know right, this guys awesome

Ennui: That was nice, but these bats are leading us to the Cabins and I would surely hate to come in last.

Sam: Do you need a guardian for your journey?

Ennui: Thanks, but we usually like to work alone

Crimson: Well they are in our path; they might as well follow us

Ennui: True

The six friends then followed the Goths to the Cabins, this night was getting longer and longer and it seemed like no one had reached the Cabins yet, so for many people to group up together so that no one was left behind seemed like a logical idea, but one gold focused duo, there would be no such thing as cooperation.

 

Josee: Come on Jacques, I finally see those five hooligans, and I’m not about to let that redneck and his fucking clan get ahead of us champions.

Jacques: Yeah, that redneck bastard ruined my vest

Josee: And made me lose my brand new lucky rabbits foot, AGAIN.

While the Ice Dancers were mad at their misfortunes, Brody, Geoff, Bridgette, Chester, and Junior were still surprised that they were ahead of everybody else, especially the Ice Dancers. They had all briefed Chester about what the Ice Dancers were about.

Chester: So your telling me that these Ice Dancers can’t be trusted, it’s a good thing they’re not on our team then.

Bridgette: But Jacques is on mine

Geoff: Bridge, I am so sorry, at least it’s not Josee though.

Junior: Yeah, I have a feeling she’s the one behind the scenes of all the chaos. Jacques kind of the village idiot of the duo, and with them on separate teams.

Chester: There’s less of a chance for them to do a tag team.

Junior: Exactly

Bridgette: But they can still form alliances with other people like Heather.

But they were interrupted by the sound of the Ice Dancers who were now gaining on them. Junior was the first person to notice this.

Junior: Um guys, we’ve got company

Brody: Run for your lives dudes

They all started running from the Ice Dancers. Unfortunately they could not have foreseen that Jacques and Josee would always leap and run with a smile feverishly implanted on their face.

Chester: The way those two smile just freak me the fuck out, gotta try to distract them in some way.

Luckily for them they were running toward a jagged cliff with a 10 ft. drop to the ocean below, Junior noticed that the drop wouldn’t kill them, but it would be hard to climb up from.

Junior: Hey Chester, I got an idea, you see the edge of that cliff

Chester: Yeah

Junior: Pose off the edge of this cliff long enough to distract them

Chester: You don’t have to tell me twice.

Chester then gets into position. As the Ice Dancers are about to take the lead, he starts to smile and do the same leap as he did before, but he twists his body slightly to the right, psyching the Ice Dancers into falling off the cliff below. Jacques managed to stop himself, but not in time, causing him to fall over as well.

Bridgette: Do you think they know how to swim, that climb back up seems high

Junior: These people can get out of anything

Geoff: Hey Skaters, hope you brought you floaties, because that’s one long fucking swim back to shore.

Brody: Don’t choke on too much water

Josee: AAAAAAHHHHHH you and your inbred hillbilly friend are so fucking done.

Jacques: Josee, I cant feel my foot

Josee: Jacques, those bastards have been ahead of us this entire race, and I’m not about to lose because of your ratchet foot.

They start swimming to shore, the five bolted as fast as they could around the Island, they knew they had to act fast if they wanted to keep one step ahead of the Ice Dancers.

A little further back, Heather and Taylor were talking about their outfits.

Taylor: That top actually fits you very well, where’d you get it.

Heather: I don’t remember, it might have been a fucking Christmas present for all I remember

Taylor: Yeah, I don’t remember much of what I buy because I bought so much clothes this year. I try to go shopping at least once a week.

Heather: When I won the Million Dollars on World Tour

Taylor: Wait a second, didn’t that Golem looking freak knock the money into the volcano.

Heather: Yeah, but I had good enough lawyers to contest that, I had to sue the production company for damages and got more than a Million. Anyway when I got the money I ended up going to Paris on a private jet just so I could shop there for a week. I bought so much stuff it was crazy

Taylor: Oh yeah, Paris is really nice, too bad I only went there to do a challenge. You should try shopping in Dubai though, Oh My God, everything and everyone there is gold, and they have literally the best jewelry. I wanna go back there again.

Heather: I’ve never thought about going to Dubai, my dad has business connections over there though.

Taylor: My Dad just started getting business connections from there when he found out how much fun my mom and I had shopping.

Just then Alejandro appeared, he was determined to win the money this season, although following the Ice Dancers, he ended up skimming his knee on a rock, which is why he was limping

Heather: For fuck sakes Alejandro, I thought you were ahead of those ratchet Ice Dancers by now

Alejandro: I was mi’ amore, but they pushed me into a rock, and now my ankle is badly skimmed, I cannot possibly get there in time.

Heather: Yeah right, your only faking it in order to form another alliance with me, but we are on different teams

Alejandro: Oh I see, and is that why this girl is with you

Taylor: Um, I would think so.

Alejandro: Ah, well you see this alliance requires more than one person. Those Ice Dancers would be perfect.

Taylor: Are you serious right now, there is no way I would join those two fucking airy-fairy skaters in any kind of way.

Heather: And from what she tells me, I don’t think it’s worth it, besides those matching outfits look fake, I mean have you seen those legwarmers it’s not the early 80’s anymore lady

Alejandro: But that is the best time to form an alliance, to keep them around while they’re fresh, and crush them eventually. These things take time mi’ amore.

Heather and Taylor couldn’t really believe what Alejandro was telling them but they did have to admit, the Ice Dancers were fierce competitors and would do anything to stay in the game. How well the Ice Dancers could be manipulated no one really knew. Taylor was the only person to compete with them.

Heather: Taylor told me about how cunning they were during the race

Alejandro: Is that true

Taylor: Well, I really didn’t get to talk to them that much, but I did see when Jacques dropped Josee on her head.

They all laugh at this

Taylor: They did manage to come in third in the race though

Alejandro: Then it is settled, we shall form a temporary alliance with them, I’ll talk to Jacques when we get to the Cabins.

Heather: Then we better fucking hurry because they look like they swim pretty fast

They took off running after seeing the Ice Dancers in the ocean swimming to shore exactly like dolphins would. While they were trying to get ahead in the Race, Scott and his cousin Rodney were setting a perfect trap to keep Campers out of the race. 

 

Scott: See Cousin; is this a trap or what?

Scott had just dug a ten-foot deep hole in the middle of the trail. He had covered it with leftover brushes and had Rodney find ones that look inconspicuous enough to deceive people. Scott had always gotten Rodney to do this for him, but Rodney was concerned about all the pretty women. There were a lot riper for the picking this time, and he didn’t want to go home empty handed.

Rodney: Awww Scott, please don’t get any of the pretty ladies caught in that hole.

Scott: Relax cousin; I only plan on getting the ones who aren’t on our team into the hole.

Rodney: That’s what you said when we were playing tag and you accidentally got Debbie caught in a hole you dug up.

Scott: That’s because she wanted to be in that hole, don’t worry I helped her out eventually didn’t I.

Rodney: Yeah, but why were you both naked when I pulled you out of the hole.

Scott: Our clothes were dirty, we couldn’t climb out of there and risk getting our clothes even dirtier.

Rodney: And then she said thanks for the memories afterwards, what was that all about.

Scott: I guess the memories of playing tag the hole in the hole, if you know what I mean HEHE.

But Rodney could see from a distance somebody coming onto the trail, it was too dark to see who it was, but it was all alone.

Rodney: Hey Scott, I see someone coming

Scott: Get back, and lets see how my trap works, this is going to be fucking funny.

Little did they realize it was actually Amy, she was with her sister, but during the beginning of the race she went with Ella, Lindsay, and Beth. Sammy would’ve gone with Jasmine and Shawn, but decided they needed to be alone together. She was now by herself in the forest.

Scott had seen Rodney compete on the last season of Total Drama and had a little bit of a crush on Amy. She liked the way she ordered her sister around and laughed so hard when his cousin tried hitting on Amy and she punched him in the stomach. This girl was like Courtney and now that they were all on the same team he was going to try to go steady on her, even though he really hoped that wasn’t her that fell in the hole.

Scott: HAHA we got one cousin, lets see who it is

Rodney: Ok

They look into the hole and find Amy cursing at them

Amy: AAAAHHHHHHH, who the fuck dug this fucking hole in the middle of the forest.

Scott was pissed at Rodney, but he had an idea

Scott: Rodney how could you do that to a team-mate, and look at her clothes, they’re all dirty, we must

Rodney then pushed him into the hole as well

Amy: What must we do, huh?

Scott: Well I didn’t dig the hole that deep, shall I help you pull out, I mean get out of this hole.

Amy then punches him in the stomach

Amy: And what about my clothes?

Scott: I was just suggesting that Rodney here should pull you up, you know, to not get your clothes dirty.

Then Rodney remembered why Debbie actually did dump him. Scott had actually lured her into the hole to have sex with him. Rodney was a pure man and seeing the same thing about to be done to Amy was too much.

Rodney: Huh, is that how Debbie dumped me back on the farm, Scott how could you?

Scott: No Offense, but she didn’t even know you existed, you were always mumbling whenever you talked to her.

And with that Rodney ran off in tears into the deep forest.

Scott: Wait a second, don’t take it like that, how are we going to get out of this hole you fucking big oaf, come back.

But Rodney was too far away to hear him. Amy, however, had other questions in mind, like how was that Big Oaf cousins with one of Total Dramas resident schemers?

Amy: Wait, you two know each other

Scott: Yep, hes my younger cousin by a year, fucking idiot if you ask me, I had to guide him through everything.

Amy: Yeah, same thing with my twin sister

Scott: I know, I saw you guys on the last season, you were ruthless in how you handle her, it must have been rough growing up.

Amy: Yeah it was, but how the fuck are we getting out of this hole?

Scott: Aren’t you a cheerleader, you can get on my shoulders and somersault out of the hole.

Amy: Wow, I guess you are more useful then my sister.

Scott starts to bend down, and Amy easily landed the somersault from Scott’s shoulders, too bad Scott never thinks ahead as Amy then ran away from the scene, leaving Scott in the hole.

Amy: HAHA Later

Scott: But I’m on your team, remember?

Amy: Like I give a rat’s fucking ass

Scott: Wonderful Scott, how was I suppose to know she would pull something like that, guess she’s smarter then she seems.

Lucky for him the Larpers and Sugar saw the whole thing from above

Leonard: Greetings fellow team-mate, for I have the spell to levitate anybody out of any holes

Scott: Wonderful, do you mind getting in this hole and fucking doing your levitation spell or whatever

Tammy: Certainly, Come on, let us combine our levitation powers and jump in this hole with Leonard’s fellow teammate

They all foolishly jumped down into the hole to help their fellow teammate. What they didn’t know was that Scott had an idea.

Scott: Alright, So how does this work

Leonard: Levitatous Holeresicus

As he kept repeating the same thing over and over, Scott was growing impatient with this and decided to jump on Sugar’s shoulders to get up to the top of the hole.

Sugar: What in the ever-loving fuck, get back down here you fucking worm

Leonard: How dare you doubt my spells, evil shall be cast upon you

Tammy: Avada Kedavra

Scott: HAHAHA isn’t that from

He was about to say Harry Potter, but unknowingly, Lightning was running in the opposite direction and fell into the hole. Now it was him, along with the Larpers and Sugar that were in the hole. Jaquan, who was right behind him had to Laugh and make comments.

Jaquan: HAHA, you in a fucking hole wit Honey Boo Boo and her fucking fairy ass friends nigga, that money mine

Sugar: You goddam son of a bitch, I tell y’all not to compare me to that inferior little pageant bitch

Jaquan: Whatever I’m bout to get this money B

He then sees Scott bolting in another direction

Jaquan: Fucking opie ass motherfucker, get the fuck back here nigga

Too bad for both of them because Lightning actually managed to get out of the hole and is now chasing after both Scott and Jaquan

Lightning: Sha-What, those two can never get ahead of the Lightning

Sugar: Wait a minute, what about us you goddam snowball?

Lightning: You are in a hole, Lightning is in it too win it

And Lightning takes off, leaving Sugar and the Larpers stuck in the hole, wondering if and when they’ll ever get out. Meanwhile on another side of the forest, The Good Twin is with Lindsay, Beth, and Ella. She had made friends fast with them and they were now trying to find the Cabins together.

 

Beth: This forest can get really spooky at night

Lindsay: I saw Taylor going into the forest alone, I wonder where he is now

Beth: Hey, nobody has gotten to the Cabins yet, maybe Tyler is nearby

Lindsay: I really hope so

Sammy: I don’t know, I mean, Chris’s helicopter went this way, so we shouldn’t be too far off

Beth: Yeah, we have been in the forest for over an hour now, the Cabins can’t be too far away.

Suddenly groaning could be heard farther up ahead, the sound it made was very familiar to Lindsay.

Lindsay: Oh my god, Taylor, where are you!

They ran to where the sound was coming from, it turned out it was Tyler hunched over a log. He has sprained his right foot trying to run through the forest after Lightning and Jaquan.

Lindsay: Oh my god, Taylor, what happened to your foot!

Tyler had been dating Lindsay for a few years. He had gotten use to her forgetting his name.

Tyler: I was trying to catch up to those two fucking retards, and I accidentally slammed my foot on this log.

Beth: Good thing all you did was sprain it

Sammy: It does look pretty bad though; we’ll have to carry you

Lindsay: Wait, maybe Mulan can sing us something and have an aminal carry you to the Cabins.

Ella: I would love too, but I don’t know if Chris will like me singing again. After all, that’s how I got eliminated last time.

Beth: Please Ella

Ella: Oh, but I can’t ignore someone who is injured, I guess I can sing just this one time.

Lindsay: Yay, Snow Whites going to sing for us Noah

Tyler: Great

Unbeknownst to the five, there was somebody in the bushes nearby, Amy had successfully got out of Scott’s hole and managed to run away and find two old doom balloons from the challenge that ultimately got her eliminated by “Samey”. She was now hell bent on getting revenge on her sister for pulling that stunt, but she didn’t want to seem inconspicuous. She wanted to wait for Ella to finish singing to exact her punishment. 

 

Meanwhile, in another part of the forest were Trent, Dillon, Rock, and Spud. Trent was briefing Dillon on what Chris was like, who the people on his team were, other then the ones he already saw on TV, and even the relationships and conflicts other people on the show had.

Dillon: A lot of these people seem fake as fuck, but I feel bad for some of them, especially Mike. I saw an old documentary on HBO about that, that’s gotta be scary.

Trent: Yeah, I went to high school with the guy and the way he manages it is crazy. I’m amazed he won both the money and the girl of his dreams.

Dillon: Zoey must be a pretty patient and accepting person to take on something like that. I can’t imagine living with it though; I have enough problems as it is.

Rock: Nah dude, your like the best guitar player I’ve ever heard

Dillon: Thanks bro, but there’s really no such thing as the best, there will always be someone better than you and somebody worse than you in something. It’s finding the middle ground that’s the challenge.

Trent: Wow, I never thought of it like that, that’s a really deep way of looking at it.

As they were walking through the forest, they started to hear singing coming from somewhere in the forest. Spud took notice of this

Spud: Dude…Do you hear that

Rock: Yeah, sounds like someone’s singing

Dillon: No, it’s the girl from Nightwish doing her solo project in the forest.

Spud: Wow, Really, if that’s the case I gotta follow it

Trent: Umm. Aren’t we suppose to find the Cabins

It was too late; Spud had already run off to find where that beautiful voice was coming from.

Rock: Hey, at least wait for us

And they all started running after Spud, if there was one thing that could also motivate him to do well in a challenge, it would be if he listened to music. Little did anyone suspect that it was Ella singing a song in calling all of her animal friends and as suspected it was working. The only thing was that none of the animals that came to her were big enough to possibly carry Tyler’s weight. While Ella was still in the midst of singing, Amy was growing impatient. She had been waiting for 15 minutes to strike her own sister and she wasn’t getting anywhere.

Amy: Uuugghhh, when is this fucking Snow White clone going to shut the fuck up and let me have my sister already.

And Spud was still running toward that voice that he heard.

Spud: It’s so angelic, like the voice of an angel

Dillon: You know if I didn’t know any better that could be Ella singing.

Rock: Wait a second bro shes on our team

Trent: Well, at least we know she hasn’t reached the Cabins yet.

Spud: Wow dude, I think I see them.

He was right

Beth: I hear footsteps guys, Ella keep singing, it could be a moose

But Amy wasn’t having any of it

Amy: Ok Sparemy, this is for launching me into that fucking cannon bitch

Too bad Amy had an awful aim because it was around the same time Spud found the group of friends. He could not have foreseen the balloon coming toward his face and as he was hit with a balloon full of old and hardened lead paint, his delayed reaction prevented him from feeling any intense pain.

Rock: Spud you good bro

Ella: Wonderful, my song worked, here are four people that can help our injured friend

Rock: Uhh. Spud just got hit with something

Ella: Oh goodness, another injured friend, are you alright

But Spud just couldn’t stop staring at her.

Spud: Your voice is so hypnotic! I had to run here as fast as I could just so I could hear that beautiful voice again and again.

This made Ella blush like crazy

Tyler: For fuck sakes those aren’t animals Ella

Dillon: No it’s a Shrek, Donkey, A Midget, and Justin Timberlake

Too bad Amy tried again to throw her last balloon at Sammy without looking, but again she missed and instead hit Dillon with another hardened lead paint balloon. Good thing he had an extremely high pain tolerance

Dillon: Fuck

Amy: Ha later Spearmy

And with that she took off running into the deep forest. Who knew if she’d ever get to the Cabins or not, Dillon was still wondering where that balloon came from.

Sammy: I am so sorry, are you alright?

Dillon: Yeah, I’m good, that was meant for you wasn’t it

Sammy: Well, yeah it was

Dillon: Again, I’m sorry you’re sister is fucking psycho, I have younger twin brothers and they’re not like that at all.

Sammy: Wow really

Dillon: Yeah, one’s the singer in my band and the others a hardcore gamer.

Sammy: I had a feeling you were in a band, but yeah, my sisters always making me do everything with her just so that she can show how better she is than me.

Dillon: But she’s not better than you Sammy, she only gives off the appearance that she is to everyone else, and they blindly follow her.

Sammy: Wow, Did you just call me Sammy? Only my parents ever call me that

Dillon: Oh, well how bout Sam then, it’s a little simpler to remember

Sammy: Ummm, Ok

But Beth interrupted the conversation

Beth: Umm. How are we going to get Tyler to the Cabins?

Trent: Rock, how about you and I carry him

Rock: Sounds like a plan my dude.

With that, all 9 Campers started walking toward the northeast, but as it turns out the only large animal that heard Ella’s song was a deer and it was now guiding the 9 Campers out of the forest.

Ella: Hello friend, can you guide my friends over here to our Cabins for tonight

Spud: Wow, that deer understood you

Ella: Yes, It heard my song and would like to assist us

Spud: Awesome, Giddy up deer

Dillon: Spud that’s a moose, you can’t ride a moose Spud

Sammy: HAHAHAHA, that’s not a moose

Dillon: Shhhh, and It’s not a dog with glued on antlers either

Sammy: HAHAHAHA, stop

And so Dillon did finally stop as the deer guided them toward their destination. It was too bad the Campers going around the island didn’t have the ability or the resources to ride a dolphin to the Cabins.

 

Mario decided to take the scenic route. He had never been to Pakiteaw Island and he wanted to see what kind of island it was. It was too bad that Staci was still right behind him, chatting about her various supposed “fake” ancestors. There had to be a way to distract her.

Mario: Ugh, How is this woman still going on about her blasted relatives, she must have some perseverance.

Luckily he saw Courtney up ahead, She was going to go with Heather and Taylor, but decided it wasn’t worth it and did the trip around the Island alone, Mario decided to talk to her

Mario: Hi, you must be Courtney

Courtney: And I can only assume that your Mario right

Mario: I can assure you that I’m not the video game character everyone thinks I am, but I have a dilemma far behind me and I need a way to distract her.

Courtney: Oh yeah, she grates on my nerves too, but were on different teams.

Mario: I completely understand that, but this isn’t a team challenge, we just have to find where we’re going to sleep for the night.

Courtney: If you think I’m going to form an alliance just to get rid of that piece of shit chatterbox you can just forget it.

Mario: Who said anything about forming alliances? I just want to be far away from that behemoth. Hey, maybe if I can convince her to go into the forest.

Courtney: But, won’t she get lost

Mario: Isn’t it obvious, the way she talks about herself and her relatives, I have a feeling she can find a way out of it easily, besides, she has her deceased relatives to thank for guiding her through the challenge.

Courtney: HAHA, that is slightly underhanded, but I can believe you

Mario then spots Staci easily talking to Anne-Maria and Esmeralda about guess what, her relatives

Staci: And my great, great, great aunt Ida invented potato chips

Anne-Maria: My cousin from New York told me that chips were invented by some old guy at a resort in Saratoga Springs

Staci: Oh, and my great, great, great uncle Charles invented the dip, before him people had to dip them in water.

Esmeralda: That’s fucking disgusting, then the chip just gets soggy and end up having no taste.

Thank god Mario showed up, Anne-Maria and Esmeralda were getting winded listening to her. Not that it would have mattered because they were both quite long-winded talkers themselves, but this girl had them beat.

Mario: Excuse me ladies, but can I borrow Staci for a minute

Anne-Maria: Yeah, whateva

Esmeralda: Please do

So Mario took Staci by the hand into the forest, surprisingly she is still talking about her relatives, but stops when Mario takes her toward the direction of the forest.

Staci: Is this a faster way to the Cabins?

Mario: It sure is, why don’t you go ahead and take it, I’d go with you but I have obligations. Besides you’d be the first person to go through the forest on this Island in your family. Think of those relatives who discovered all of these wonderful things we take for granted like floors and potato chips, don’t you think it’s your time to follow in their footsteps

Staci: Wow, you’re absolutely right, thanks, this is for all of my dead relatives.

Mario: Yes, that’s the spirit

And with that, she leads herself into the unknown forest with poise and confidence, Courtney, Anne-Maria, and Esmeralda stare at him in disbelief.

Courtney: Wow, I didn’t think it would be so easy to mislead somebody.

Mario: You know, now that I think about it, I believe it is downright insulting to make up dead relatives and present them as fake. My Italian relatives would be spinning in their grave if I lied about their accomplishments to others on national TV

Esmeralda: But why would anyone do that, It is so disrespectful?

Courtney: You’d be surprised what kinds of motivation people have to win the money on this show. Lying about your family members is one way to do it.

Mario: That is true, I’m trying to go to school to be a civil attorney and keep my families restaurant open at the same time. Immigrants deserve the proper respect, and seeing false information being presented is something I take very seriously.

Courtney: There are so many things wrong with this show though. Chris isn’t exactly the most civil person in the world and god knows that the challenges he had us do in the past were not up to code or had been tested prior to us doing them.

Anne-Maria: Yeah, I fuckin hate the fact that I’m even on this show still.

Courtney: Well you can thank the contracts for that.

Mario: But even for us new guys, we are also bounded to it, and to think I would get picked out of thousands of other people for a chance at the money with more than 80 other people seems like a dream come true, however it is a competition.

Anne-Maria: Meh, I’m just glad the first challenge is pretty easy, and I don’t have to ruin my hair doing it

Esmeralda: Yeah or get any of our clothes wet

Courtney: Yeah, but there is always a trick up Chris’s sleeve, I wonder what it is now.

Courtney was right, it seemed that Chris has not said or done anything in two hours and nobody had found the Cabins yet. 

 

As it turns out Chris and Chef were in one of the Cabins watching the progress of all the Campers so far.

Chef: It looks like 5 Campers are on the right track to being in first place

Chris: But you know whats funnier, the fact that 34 of the Campers actually went around the Island.

Chef: Don’t those fools know that’s its easier to go through the forest, your going around a lot more going that way.

Chris: At least one of the Campers decided that going around the island was a bad idea.

Chef: HAHAHAHA, and they goin’ the wrong way

Chris and Chef: BAHAHAHAHAHA

Chris: So, when do you want to make the announcement to the Campers

Chef: When those five people get here

It didn’t take long for Duncan, DJ, Dawn, B, and Sandy to be the first Campers to get to the Cabins. There were five of them and they were all very nicely built this time, not like those fake stone Cabins they had to deal with. They were actual Log Cabins that had the team names on four of them, but the fifth Cabin was different. It didn’t have a team logo on it and it looked like a house.

Dawn: Oh my gosh, we won

DJ: Yeah, first ones here baby

Duncan: Wow Chris, you really outdid yourself this time, I’m gonna go take a nap now

But Chef appeared out of nowhere

Chef: The Fuck you ain’t boy, didn’t you learn anything in Jail, wait for the other Campers fool.

Duncan: See I told you it would be fun

Sandy: HAHAHA, It’s crazy that we’re in first and not those fake fucking Ice Dancers Jacques and Josee, they’re probably pissed they didn’t win gold this time.

Duncan: HAHA Yeah

But the celebration was short lived, Chris had to finally announce who the winner was to the rest of the contestants, He got on the universal intercom inside his tent and told the rest of the Campers the great news

Chris: Howdy Campers, Miss Me, It looks like Dawn, DJ, Duncan, B, and Sandy have gotten to the Cabins first, which means Roadrunners you have 1 person, and the Thunderbirds and Rams each have 2 people that made it to their Cabins already. The people still in the woods, you guys are really close. As for those who thought it was a good idea to go around the island, are you that fucking dumb. I don’t even think the guy in first place who took that route is going to make it for another half-hour. That’s all for now, I’ll update you later HAHA. 

 

To finally announce the winners was a huge relief to most of the Campers, but not to others, especially Jacques who is now limping from falling into the ocean. They had taken off after they had gotten out of the water and now Josee was extremely pissed she wasn’t first or going to be in first.

Josee: AAHHHHH Jacques you fucking idiot, why did you suggest we take this way, we’re not even getting bronze for this.

Jacques: But I thought

Josee: That’s right, you didn’t fucking think

Jacques: How was I suppose to know the forest was going to be the fastest way to the Cabins, We could’ve been lost so easily.

Josee: But we would’ve been in first you dumb son of a

But Alejandro, who along with Heather and Taylor, managed to creep up into their lead.

Alejandro: You know Josee; I think you should really hurry if you want to be in silver, I see the Cabins aren’t too far from here anyway.

Josee: Good idea, later Jacques

With that Josee runs off, followed by Heather and Taylor to the best of their ability. They knew this was all part of Alejandro’s Plan and didn’t want to come in last place.

Jacques: Are you serious man?

Alejandro: Amigo, listen I have a preposition

Jacques: What, come in last place

Alejandro: No, cant you see that both of our ankles are sprained, and we’re not going to come in last place either, we have 7 people on our team that are behind us that also took the same route.

Jacques: Hey, you are right, are you saying we should form an alliance

Alejandro: Precisely

Jacques: But who else should join us?

Alejandro: Besides Josee, Heather, and Taylor, I haven’t decided yet. There are still people on this island that don’t trust me.

Jacques: And I have no idea either. Josee and me didn’t really make any allies in the race because we were too focused on winning, but there are no medals, and there are still people behind us in this race.

Alejandro: But there is a lot of money on the table this time.

Jacques: And so many people, willing to get their hands on it.

The men both laugh at each other, their alliance formed so far, they hop as fast as they can around the island. Too bad for them that 8 more Campers who took the forest route were now at the Cabins as Chris made the announcements.

Chris: Campers it appears more people have gotten to the Cabins. With Ennui, Crimson, Beardo, Sam, Dakota, Chet, Lorenzo, and Megan now here, we have 2 Roadrunners, 5 Skylarks, 2 Thunderbirds, and 4 Rams safe and sound at home base.

Jacques: Alejandro, how far exactly are these Cabins

Alejandro: They shouldn’t be too far. We’ve been going around the island for almost two hours now we’re bound to hit that side of the island very soon.

Jacques: I hope Josee isn’t too far away, shes probably really mad right now

Speaking of which, up ahead of them Josee was indeed pissed

Josee: AAAAAAAAGAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH

Jacques: Her infamous temper tantrums, we better be there soon or she’ll go ballistic.

Alejandro: I don’t blame you amigo

And as they continue to hop around the Island, the eight people that finally reached the Cabin were elated.

Chet: Awesome, we beat those dumbass fucking Ice Dancers

Lorenzo: Yeah, They’re probably still in the forest throwing a fit right now

Duncan: Oh those leotard-wearing fucks, I think they went around the Island.

Sandy: Yeah, I saw them before I left for the forest. They went with Mary and Ellody.

Chet: Thank fucking god, I hope they come in last

Lorenzo: There probably in first place already, knowing how ruthless they are

Sandy: Yeah, I wouldn’t be surprised, but you still never know. At least we all beat them, and it looks like they’ll be more later. Chris said that the person in first place that went around the island probably won’t get here for another half-hour

 

As the stepbrothers were pondering what was up with the Ice Dancers, Shawn and Jasmine hopped a tree to find out where the Cabins were. They knew the direction where Chris’s Helicopter went, following it northeast, and hopped a tree to the top to see where it went. Lucky for them they saw the Island in aerial view when they did this

Jasmine: Shawn, I see the Cabin, its still a little away, but it’s manageable

Shawn: All right, how far do you think they are?

Jasmine: Well if we go over this hill to the right a little bit, and go straight we’ll be able to reach the Cabins in about 20 minutes give or take.

Shawn: Are there any tall trees around the area that you see, I have to see if they’re still Zombies.

Jasmine: Shawn, I don’t think they’re zombies around this time. Chris might’ve removed them all from the Island.

Shawn: I hope so, that challenge with the juggy chunks is still in my mind

Jasmine: I know, but the Cabins actually look really nice from up here

Shawn: Yeah, there doesn’t look like there’s any tall trees in the area, Chris must’ve knocked some tall trees down to build them. Speaking of trees, look below us

The two survivalists looked down and saw that Mike, Zoey, Cameron and Gwen were heading the same way Shawn and Jasmine were thinking about taking. Unlike Shawn and Jasmine however, Zoey, Cameron, and Gwen were not so excited about competing again. They had made it known in All Stars that they did not want to compete in another season after what Mal did throughout the competition.

Gwen: The first thing I do when I get eliminated is give those fucking producers a piece of my mind.

Zoey: I know, and 22 million dollars is kind of pushing it don’t you think

Cameron: That’s enough money to be split 22 Ways

Gwen: I wonder what the motivation for having that much money would be, Is he trying to kill us this time.

Zoey: No, I don’t think he would do that

Mike: Then how would he come up with something more outrageous then ever before, there has to be some kind of catch to this?

Cameron: But what could it be is the question?

Gwen: Well, we’re in a dark forest, and they’re hasn’t really been any animals chasing us. It would be unlike Chris to not have something hindering us from reaching our destination.

Zoey: Maybe he saving the animals for the real challenges

Everybody had to chuckle at that, but unbeknownst to anyone Mike gasped and became Chester. It was the complete worst time to do this, but at least the Chester that was on Mike and Cameron’s team decided to go around the Island instead of with them.

Zoey: So Mike what do you think about all this

(Chester): Huh, it’s Chester Missy

Cameron: Oh god, at least the real Chester isn’t around to see this. There’s no way we’re getting to the Cabins.

(Chester): Oh please, back in my day we didn’t need fancy Cabins. We had to sleep under a rock to get warm

Gwen: Oh my fucking god, how are we going to wake Mike up?

Lucky for them Jasmine and Shawn were right above them.

Shawn: See I told you there would be zombies in this forest, Mike’s been bitten and he’s about to eat Zoey, Cameron, and Gwen

Jasmine: I really don’t think Mike has been bitten, he hasn’t moved at all.

Shawn: That doesn’t mean that he can’t, we have to bring them to safety just in case

Jasmine: But there’s barely room for the two of us let alone 5 people on this branch. I’ll jump down to see what’s going on.

Shawn: Please don’t get bitten

Jasmine then carefully climbs down the tree to meet the four below

Jasmine: Are you guys alright?

Zoey: Jasmine, thank god you’re here

Cameron: Mike turned into Chester

(Chester): Gee fella, your quite tall

Zoey: Hey, Chester that’s rude

Jasmine: That’s alright; I get that all the time, but why are you calling Mike Chester when you have another guy on your team already named Chester.

Cameron: Well, Mike has these characters that come out at random

He then notices Jasmines Hat

Cameron: Can we borrow your hat for a second?

Jasmine: Umm, Ok

She then puts the hat on Mike and he immediately becomes Manitoba

(Manitoba): Crikey, that’s a tall Shelia if I ever seen one

Jasmine: That is Bonkers, Did he just switch into a completely different person.

(Manitoba): Ah yes, you must know the outback well

Jasmine: Well, I am from Australia

(Manitoba): As am I, now what treasure are we looking for

Jasmine: I don’t know anything about treasure but it’s time for a nap, and there are Cabins on the other side of this island. I just saw them from the treetops. Oh god, Shawn you can come down now, Mike’s not a zombie.

Shawn jumped down to join them, relieved that there were no zombies, just Mikes changes in personality.

Shawn: Are you guys alright?

Zoey: We’re fine Shawn, we just gave Mike Jasmines hat and he became Manitoba.

Shawn: Wait, so he’s not a zombie, that’s a relief

Zoey: But lets see if Mike will come back to us when I remove the hat

Zoey then removed the hat and Mike returned to normal, completely unaware that he was 2 people at once and that Jasmine and Shawn were now with them.

Mike: Umm, hi Jasmine and Shawn, what are you guys doing here with us

Both looked at each other in disbelief

Jasmine: Umm, were you completely unaware of who you just were?

Mike then spots that Jasmine was not wearing her hat

Mike: Was I Manitoba

Cameron: Yeah Mike, you also turned into Chester

Mike: HEHE well, I guess you guys know I have multiple personalities now.

Jasmine: Yeah, but that guy Manitoba, where did he come from, he sounds like most guys I know back home.

Mike: Yeah, he’s an explorer mostly, but an expert outdoorsman and traveler as well. I can’t really remember my childhood too well, so I’m not sure where exactly Manitoba came from.

Shawn: Why not?

Mike: Lets just say it’s a long story?

Gwen: *Yawn* I don’t know about you guys but I am fucking tired as shit

Jasmine: Oh right, we should probably get to the Cabins before more people show up

And the Six Campers run as quickly as they can to not come in last place, it was a good thing Jasmine spotted the Cabins from a distance, otherwise they’d be lost, but for those still running around the island, it was a different story. Especially for Mary and Ellody, who were dumbfounded as to why their Idea didn’t work.

 

Ellody: I have no idea why our hypothesis on going around the Island wouldn’t work

Mary: I would think considering the safety of the contestants wouldn’t be a hindrance in this challenge.

Ellody: You also have to remember that there are a lot more ignorant people on this island. They wouldn’t have listened to us anyway.

Mary: Hey, at least were not in last place

Ellody: True, I saw Justin staring at his reflection in the ocean about an hour ago, and he hasn’t past us yet.

Mary: Yeah, and I haven’t heard anything from Blaineley either

While Mary and Ellody were still baffled at the recent turn of events, one thing they couldn’t predict was how they had gotten their data incredibly wrong. It was unlike them to not do thorough research on the Island before going there. Unfortunately Chris announced the next Campers to arrive at the Cabins

Chris: Campers, 9 people have just showed up to the Cabins. Ella, Spud, Dillon, Samey, Rock, Trent, Tyler, Lindsay, and Beth have arrived which makes it 9 Roadrunners, 5 Skylarks, 3 Thunderbirds, and 5 Rams. It looks like the Roadrunners are winning this challenge, too bad I still gotta send one of them home HEHE.

Mary: I think we should hurry

Ellody: I second that

As Mary and Ellody start to realize they could be in last place if they don’t hurry up, The People that showed up to the Cabins were glad they weren’t in last.

Rock: Fucking awesome, we beat the Ice Dancers

Chet: I know right, this is too good to be true

Lorenzo: I’m glad they took the scenic route

Rock: Hey Spud, we beat the Ice Dancers

Too bad Spud was still transfixed on Ella to notice what Rock was trying to tell him.

Rock: Ahh Spud

Spud: What? Oh Awesome

Ella: *Gasp* Ice Dancers, they sound delightful; I hope they get here soon.

Chet, Rock, and Lorenzo looked at each other. This girl clearly had never met Jacques and Josee.

Chet: Umm, have you ever watched the Ridonculous Race?

Ella: Oh, why no, I didn’t get a chance too, was there singing involved

Lorenzo: Just think of it this way, those people are like those Evil Disney Villains. They lie, cheat, steal and want to rule the world

Chet: And make sure that the princesses suffer, just like Cinderella and Snow White.

Ella: Oh, but Ice Dancers don’t sound like they could ever do harm, why are they such mean people?

Lorenzo: I wish I knew the answer to that, many things must have happened to them in their life to become such ruthless villains.

Ella: That doesn’t mean there’s still some good left in their hearts, I shall sing to them when they arrive.

Spud: That would be awesome

Rock: Goddammit Spud

Spud: Oh yeah, Ella, maybe singing to the Ice Dancers isn’t a good idea, but you can sing to me anytime you want.

Ella: Really, Oh I wish I could, but now that I think of it, Chris might eliminate me if he hears me sing again

Spud: But he didn’t hear you sing before

Ella: I wonder why he didn’t say anything about that?

As it turns out, Chris wasn’t as heartless as he seems. He didn’t hear Ella sing before, but he did think she was a sweet innocent person and Chef was usually in a better mood after Ella sang. Maybe if she sang a lot more, it would put Scarlett out of her misery.

 

Out of any contestant Chris had had on the show, Scarlett was the most ruthless. Out of the many things the EPA did to the Island that made Chris happy was that they got rid of all the computerized elements of the Island. This meant that Scarlett couldn’t find any secret layers to exact her plans on blowing up the Island a second time. What Chris couldn’t predict was that her intelligence would be an asset. She had gone into the forest, but kept Max along as a Minion to do all of her bidding, like digging where the old rock they found the secret lab was.

Max: Evil needs his beauty sleep

Scarlett: The only reason we haven’t gotten to the Cabins yet is because you’re still looking for the source where the entrance to the secret lair is, now are you gonna whine or dig for me.

Max: Fool, my digging has caused us to not be the first to the Cabins and now we’ll not getting to the Cabins before those imbeciles 

Scarlett: It’s approximately 2.5 miles from the start of the old elimination zone going around the island. Considering the terrain and the environment surrounding it, I predict that the other Campers won’t reach the Cabins for another half-hour.

Scarlett was right; she knew that the secret lair was gone and that there was no way the rebuilt island had any remnants of it. Max on the other hand still had no idea, but that was part of her plan to get rid of Max. She would wait until most of his team was at the Cabins or when they announced the first Camper from around the island to arrive, she would leave Max to continue digging

Max: How much longer do I have to dig this blasted hole?

Scarlett: Until you come across some metal remains of a trap door, there has to be something down there that was left untouched by those landscapers.

Max: *Grunts* I have been digging for two hours and haven’t found a thing, besides Evil never

Scarlett: Max, you were never evil, now stop pretending and dig the hole

Max: *Gasp* Evil does not have to

Scarlett then glared at him to finish

Max: Ok, whatever you say

Scarlett: And dig faster, I think there going to announce the next people to reach the Cabins.

She was right; Chris did announce the next people to get to the Cabins just as she had predicted he would. It took Scarlett completely off guard.

Chris: Campers, 6 more people have showed up. Mike, Zoey, Cameron, Gwen, Shawn, and Jasmine have now made it 11 Roadrunners, 7 Skylarks, 4 Thunderbirds, and 6 Rams to reach the Cabins unscathed.

Scarlett knew that this was her chance to leave. She could wait a little while longer, but coming in last place was not part of her itinerary and Max was still digging the hole to the supposed secret lair.

Scarlett: Max, I’m going to get more shovels, keep digging

And with that she walked calmly out of Max’s sight, then when he knew he wouldn’t be able to hear her run she started bolting toward the northeast side of the island. After a couple minutes of digging Max became suspicious.

Max: Hmm. That evil woman has gone to get more shovels, but she forced me to make these shovels out of tree bark, why would she leave me.

Max then remembered that Scarlett was gone not to get more shovels, but to get to the Cabins and leave Max digging to come in last place. He had dug the hole about four feet deep so far.

Max: *Gasp* that vile woman, Evil has now returned to Pakiteaw HAHAAAAAAAHA

After initially struggling to get out of the hole, he starts to walk merrily to the Cabins. He figures if he walks out of her sight for a little bit, he won’t have to be near her. He then walks in the same general direction as Scarlett went, but went left instead of right where the Cabins were.

 

Meanwhile back at the Cabins, the 28 Campers were all tired and still waiting on more people. Jasmine and Shawn were glad to be at the Cabins, but Shawn was use to sleeping in trees, and now that he was seeing most of them being used as Cabins, He was perplexed.

Jasmine: Shawn, are you alright

Shawn: Jasmine, do you notice how short the trees are. I have a feeling they made them that short on purpose.

Jasmine: Why would they do that?

Shawn: I don’t know, I didn’t think the EPA was capable of tree topping in order to build Cabins 

Jasmine: But Shawn, the stumps for the trees are still here, there’s no way they tree topped them

Shawn: Do you think they knocked them down then?

Jasmine: Well, I would assume, how else could they build Cabins.

Shawn: Hmm. Maybe your right. I don’t know where to sleep though.

Just then Sammy and Dillon appeared

Jasmine: Hey guys, Samey, I’m glad you got here before your sister

She then notices Dillon’s left side of his shirt and neck is covered in paint

Jasmine: What happened to you?

Dillon: Her sister is what happened to me. She hit both Spud and me with these balloons. S’all good though, she ran off before anybody knew what hit them. I’m just glad Sam didn’t get hit with any.

Shawn: Is that lead paint

Dillon: Might be, well looks like I’m getting cancer when this dries up guys.

Shawn: Well it’s not long exposure, you should be fine after you wash it off.

Dillon: Cool

Too bad Amy was the next person to show up to the Cabins

Dillon: Shete

Chris: It looks like Amy has shown up on her own, which means she wins the extra special Cabin for today’s challenge and Thunderbirds now have 5 people from their team here.

Now everyone was really pissed at Chris especially Dillon, after what she did to both him and Spud, she didn’t deserve it.

Amy: Wow, oh well, you’re all fucking dumb shits for not splintering off on your own I guess HEHE

Dillon: Yo, are you fucking serious right now?

Rock: Yeah, she fucking hit Spud and Dillon with balloons, I saw her.

Lorenzo: And how were we suppose to know you couldn’t go off into groups

Chris: Whopsie, I forgot to talk about the special Cabin didn’t I. See the Individual that wins a challenge is suppose to stay there, for most of you, you decided to splinter off into groups. I’d say it’s a safer alternative, but I only have enough beds for 1 person in the special Cabin.

Sandy: And your giving it to this bitch?

Chris: Yep, because she went through the forest alone.

Duncan: What kind of fucking dumbass answer is that

Chris: You know the good thing about this Cabin is that it’s bombproof Duncan 

Jasmine: Well then, I think Samey deserves it more than Amy

Beth: Yeah, I agree

Amy: Ugghh, why should Spearmy get to live in luxury, she will always be second fiddle to me, besides, I’m the pretty one.

Dillon: Oh go fuck yourself, if I could make guacamole out of that mole I would and after all the bullshit you put her through, she fucking deserves it. 

Amy: Well, I’m sure nobody agrees with you, I won the Cabin fair and square.

Rock: No you didn’t bitch, you’re lucky Spud has a delayed reaction to pain.

Spud: Wait, what did I get hit with again

Rock: Spud the person who won the Cabin threw that balloon filled with paint remember

Spud: Oh yeah, why does she get to have the Cabin

Amy: Oh whatever, your all are the worst crybabies I’ve ever seen. I can’t believe you prefer her to have the Cabin over me

Trent: But she didn’t throw the paint at Dillon and Spud, you did.

Chris: Alright, Alright, who here thinks that Samey should get the Special Cabin raise your hand?

Unanimously, every single person raised their hand, surprising Amy

Chris: Looks like it’s settled Amy, Samey gets the Cabin, when everyone else votes

Amy and Sammy: What?

Chris: It wouldn’t be fair to only have 27 people vote for your sister to have the Cabin; it has to be a unanimous decision between every camper.

Sammy: Oh god

Dillon: Hey, it’s alright; I have a feeling you’re getting the Cabin anyway. Can’t be too many idiots on the island that’d vote for guacamole. Personally I prefer chipotle on my Taco Bell.

Sammy: HAHAHAHA You’re Funny

But Chris had to announce this new development to all of the remaining Campers.

Chris: Campers, it appears that I was wrong, It looks like we have a battle between Amy and Samey for the Luxury Cabin, so far Samey has 27 people that think she should have the Cabin, while Amy has nobody, isn’t that hilarious HAHA. Anyway continue on to the Cabins Campers. 

 

Tom and Jen were one of the people that went around the island. They did not want to risk getting their designer clothes damaged, but they were really perplexed as to what twin should get the Luxury Cabin.

Jen: Wow, did Chris really give us a choice as to which twin gets the Luxury Cabin.

Tom: I guess so, but I really don’t know who to pick

Jen: I don’t like Amy at all, she is extremely rude to her sister, and I think Sammy should get the Luxury Cabin.

Tom: Really, It would have been a hard pick considering they wear the same thing

Jen: Tom, how could you be thinking about fashion at a time like this, there are no shops anywhere on this Island?

Tom: *Sigh* Yeah, I guess I agree with you then. I wonder who made those cheerleading outfits for them.

Jen: I have no idea Tom, but I wonder what other clothes they have. It can’t be comfortable wearing a cheerleading outfit all the time.

Tom: Well they both look really good in them, that’s for sure

As they were deciding who to vote for, they saw Mario, Courtney, Anne-Maria and Esmeralda ahead of them. They had tired out really easily and were now slowing down, causing Tom and Jen to catch up with them.

Jen: Hey Guys, does anybody have any idea who to vote for who gets the Luxury Cabin

Esmeralda: Well who actually won

Anne-Maria: I don’t know, I wasn’t paying attention

Courtney: I think Chris said that Amy won the Cabin, but why did 27 people not want her to have the Cabin?

Jen: That is a really good point. She must have pissed everyone off enough to get her to not have the Cabin

Esmeralda: I saw her on Pakiteaw Island, and she would be the type of fucking bitch to sit under peoples skin the wrong way.

Jen: Plus, shes extremely rude to people, and the way she treats her sister is disgusting honestly.

Anne-Maria: Whateva, I thought the 5 people who were there first should get the Cabin. I didn’t know you had to go off by yourself in order to win it

Courtney: Guess it’s too late to do that now.

Esmeralda: I thought Chris would be underhanded, but this is fucking ridiculous.

Mario: But I believe Amy won, how come everybody thinks otherwise?

Esmeralda: Well let’s see, Amy is a fucking bitch, treats her sister like shit, caused her to get eliminated, and now she’s trying to pull the same shit just to get sympathy for her.

Jen: And I guess the people who are at the Cabins saw through that

Mario: Pandering to the weakest twins adversity is not admirable. I swear it’s as if everybody wants handouts.

Anne-Maria: Umm, excuse me, you know what just for that, I am voting for Samey.

Mario: Like she needs any more help, she has a hefty lead already, might as well just add fuel to the fire.

Esmeralda: You know what, I’m with her. Have you seen the last season. She doesn’t even deserve the money as far as I’m concerned.

Mario: I cannot bow down to the influence of others, even when they are clearly wrong. Amy won the challenge, it’s over, deal with it

The 5 Other Campers stared at him. They didn’t know the circumstance behind why Amy and Samey were fighting for the Cabin, but they did know that they were still not at the Cabins to determine what the cause of all this was. Too bad Scarlett managed to get to the Cabins to answer that question for them.

 

Chris: Campers, Scarlett has just arrived making it 7 Rams that have made it safe and sound to the Cabins and she will also be the first to vote for who deserves the Luxury Cabin.

Scarlett: Didn’t Samey get here before Amy

Chris: Yeah, but she came in a group

Trent: And she threw paint at these two

Scarlett then sees that Spud and Dillon still have paint on them

Scarlett: Did you actually see her do it

Rock: I did

Scarlett: While Amy did win unintentionally, the fact that she sabotaged two other teammates makes my decision clear. Samey got here first regardless, So I’ll go with her if you don’t mind

Chris: And that’s 28 votes for Samey, Don’t worry Amy maybe someone soon will vote for you

Amy: Yeah, well they better

Scarlett: Actually if 14 more people vote for your sister you won’t get the Cabin at all

Chris: But heres the thing, the last 4 people that get to the Cabins won’t vote

Scarlett: So it’s 12 then

Chris: Meh, Whatever

It was official, Amy was in deep shit if she didn’t start getting votes soon, but even Dillon knew it wasn’t gonna happen. It was painfully obvious based on the number of people supporting Sammy that Amy was going to be sleeping in the Cabins.

 

In another part of the forest, Rodney is sitting on a log, pondering why Scott would always take the women that Rodney loved away from him. He would have gone to the Cabins, but he wanted to think for a second.

Meanwhile, farther back, Emma, Kitty, Carrie, Devin, Noah, Owen, and Izzy all decided to go through the forest together. The reason they took so much longer then the other Campers was because not only were they lost and had taken the Northwestern Passage, but Owen was still feeling the after-effects of eating a Manchineel Fruit.

Izzy: Owen, even I knew that was a dangerous fruit to eat

Owen: But it looked so good *cough*

Emma: And now we might come in last because you decided to have a midnight snack and we had to end up waiting for you.

Noah: Yeah those dots on the apple were a dead giveaway, Big Lurch

Carrie: What’s a Big Lurch

Kitty: I think Noah’s referring to that one rapper who actually ate his girlfriend

Owen: *cough* Wow, he must have been hungry

Izzy: Oh yeah, I tried eating one of my exes once, but I got a restraining order instead.

Everyone stares at Izzy

Devin: Umm. Isn’t that cannibalism 

Izzy: Not if he’s still alive

Emma: Why in the hell are we talking about cannibalism in a dark forest, where there are possibly wild animals lurking about?

Kitty: You know that’s a really good point

Carrie: But we haven’t really seen any animals that would tear us apart and eat us

Noah: No, Chris would dress the lions, tigers, and bears as people before they would eat us. 

Kitty: It would be like a deer coming to life.

Noah: No, It’d be like the Wizard of Oz

Devin: But we haven’t seen any talking trees yet

Noah: You know, I’m surprised the tree Owen took the apple from didn’t run after him

Owen: But trees don’t have legs Noah *cough*

Emma: HAHA No they don’t Owen, they fly after you

Izzy: Wow, I’ve never seen a flying tree before

Carrie: Well I heard last season the trees actually shot up from the ground with a remote, but I guess they got rid of that

Devin: It was probably for the best Carrie

Carrie: Yeah

Too bad they saw somebody in the distance sitting on a log

Emma: Who could that be up ahead of us

Kitty: I don’t know, hey wait a minute is that Rodney

As it turns out Rodney had been sitting there pondering about what Scott did to him. He wasn’t exactly mad now just disappointed, for he knew that there was plenty of women on the Island that wouldn’t fall for Scott’s tricks. Amy was just another unfortunate casualty, and now Rodney had to look for other women to court. Luckily for him the seven friends found him in the forest and three of them happened to be on the same team. 

Kitty: Rodney are you alright

Rodney: Huh. Yeah, just thinking I guess

Izzy: About what

Rodney: *sigh* my cousin stole Amy away from me and I don’t know what to do

Noah: Hate to break it to you big guy, but I think Amy is at the Cabins already. 

Rodney: Really, then Amy must’ve escaped the hole Scott made me dig up to sabotage the teammates

Emma: Umm. what

Rodney: That means she truly does love me, I gotta get back to that hole and find Scott.

Devin: I really don’t think it’s worth it now bro

Carrie: Wait, is he still in the hole

Kitty: Carrie, Scott and I are on the same team, he’s a fucking asshole and so is Amy.

Izzy: Yeah, she doesn’t deserve that Cabin. Her sister should have it

Emma: Oh right, her sisters on Mine, Carrie, and Owens team.

Carrie: She’s very sweet, defenantly the opposite of her sister

Rodney: Wait, are you telling me that Amy isn’t the nice one, and I’ve been lied to this whole time.

Noah: Yep, by Chris

Rodney: You know, when I found out Scott had sex with the girl I was trying to ask out back at the farm just now, my heart dropped in my throat. To think that he could have done it with Amy

Then Rodney had a Eureka moment, Amy did remind him of his cousin the way she ordered everyone around. He also knew that Scott kinda liked women like that.

Rodney: On second thought, I’m glad I’m not with her anymore. She’s mean. Scott has a thing for mean girls

Kitty: That’s actually kinda weird no offense

Rodney: Yeah, it doesn’t make sense to me either

Noah: Maybe if your into S&M it would

Emma: Goddammit Noah

Rodney: Well, I’ve seen Scott get whipped several times back on the farm by my Uncle. Never saw my Aunt whip him though 

Everyone just had to laugh. While they could imagine many ways Scott could have been whipped back on the farm. The time they just stood there talking they could have been at the Cabins by now.

Emma: Umm. Guys, maybe we should start getting to the Cabins before the next person gets announced

Rodney: Yeah, you guys are probably right, but I hate to think of who fell in that hole

Kitty: It’s alright, if anything it’s Scott's fault for making you dig it

Rodney: Yeah, I’m tired anyway; hopefully the Cabins are real nice

Izzy: Race you

As the eight Campers race through the unknown wilderness, not two minutes later did Chris announce the next Campers to arrive at the Cabins. Unfortunately for Samey, the next Campers weren’t so keen to vote for her.

 

Chris: It appears Scott, Lightning, and Jaquan have finally gotten to the Cabins, making it 7 Thunderbirds that are now at home base

Lightning: Bout time, Sha-Lightning needs his sleep

Jaquan: Where dat money at nigga

Chris: There’s still more challenges to come Jaquan

Duncan: I wonder what they’re serving in the water over in Detroit to make them this stupid

Sandy: HAHAHAHA

Jaquan: Nigga that Flint, Michigan not Detroit

Duncan: Oh wow, you know geography

Jaquan: No, my cousin live over there. She gotta get her water at Wal-Mart an hour away, shit no joke.

Scarlett: I’ve read about it, the high amount of lead concentrate in the water over there will actually kill you.

Jaquan: See, the girl from Johnny Test know how it is

Scarlett glared at him

Scott: Isn’t that a kids show

Jaquan: So fuckin’ what nigga, my little cousins always want to watch that shit wit me

Duncan: How many cousins you have? 80

Jaquan: No, 30 motherfucker

Duncan: Figures

Chris: Ahem.. you three haven’t decided which twins going to the Luxury Cabin yet

Scott: Oh, I choose Amy easily

Jaquan: Hol’ up Nigga, you playing tricks on me, How da fuck are they two of them.

Amy: Wow, are you really that fucking stupid, just pick me already

Jaquan: HAHAHAHAHA, yo daddy probably got three nutsacks nigga

Both twins cringed at the thought

Jaquan: And why the fuck would I pick you, you punched me in the stomach, how the fuck I suppose to know you had a stunt double

Amy: Stunt Double, she’s a Sparemy

Jaquan: Fuck you need a spare for nigga; I know you both ain’t drive 

Amy: I know, I don’t, Spearmy drives me everywhere

Jaquan: Yeah, and I bet ya’ll make love too, I don’t judge

Amy is now seething but Chris has to hurry the show up

Chris: As much as I’d like to see that, we have to hurry it up Jaquan, so who do you vote for?

Jaquan: Nigga, I pick me and the other twin

Chris: So Samey

Jaquan: Is that that other girl name, we gonna have fun tonight

Dillon: Uh, bro it’s just her that gets the Cabin. 

Jaquan: Shit nigga, you right, did she punch you in the stomach too.

Dillon: Nah, she good bro

Jaquan: Aaight, ill let you take this one

Dillon: K

Chris: And Lightning, who are you gonna vote for?

Lightning: Isn’t the answer Sha-Obvious, the Lightning should get the Cabin

Chris: That’s not how it works

Lightning: Who’d everyone else vote for

Chris: Umm. Samey

Lightning: Ok

Chris: So then the count is 30 Samey and 1 for Amy

Amy: Ugh, at least one person voted for me

Scott: Your welcome

Everyone just glared at Scott, while Samey thanked Dillon

Sammy: Thanks Dillon, that guy is an interesting person to say the least

Dillon: At least he’s on a different team. You won’t have to worry about him or your sister, unless they decide to get together HEHE.

Sammy: Oh god, I hope that doesn’t happen

Dillon: Makes for an interesting Tyler Perry movie

Sammy: HAHAHAHA, who’s that

 

While Sammy and Dillon were theorizing the many different plot points on Medea’s Family Reunion, Jay and Mickey were still going around the Island. They were initially with Mary and Ellody, but when Chris announced the first Campers to reach the Cabins, they had run off, leaving them to ponder whether or not they were in actual last place or not.

Jay: I think Justin and Ezekiel at least are behind me

Mickey: And I have eight people on my team behind us

Jay: But knowing our luck, we won’t be in front of them for long

Mickey: And we also went the wrong way, but I’m glad we didn’t go through the woods, our fear of werewolves and other animals would have defenantly hindered us.

Jay: But how did all those people get to the Cabins before us, there couldn’t have been too many animals in the forest.

Suddenly they hear a noise from behind them that sounded like footsteps

Mickey: Hey Jay, is there anyone behind us

Jay looked behind him only to find that it was Dave. He had abandoned Harold and Ezekiel after Ezekiel picked his nose. Dave’s OCD had gotten the better of him that time, as he always let it.

Dave: Hey guys, your not going to do anything gross right

Jay: Why would we do that?

Dave: I don’t know, I always let my fear of germs hinder me from things

Mickey: Well, It sounds like some sort of OCD to have that much of a fear of things. We don’t have that, but we have plenty of phobias

Jay: Yeah, like we’re both afraid of werewolves

Dave: Ha, werewolves aren’t real

Mickey: They are in Romania apparently

Dave: Oh, hey wait a second, how did you guess that I had OCD

Mickey: We’ve been around people with many different phobias, disorders, and other aliments

Jay: Yeah, we even met one person who had a fear of cracks because when his mom died. There was a crack with a sharp point sticking out of the wall and he figured his mom died by accidently being pushed against it 

Dave: Wow, it was probably just a coincidence

Mickey: Turns out it was planted there by his dad, he’s in prison, and the guy lives with his aunt, but he never leaves his room

Dave: So then how did you guys know him?

Jay: Online, there’s a chat room specifically dedicated to phobias

Mickey: Yeah, going there has made us realize that they’re plenty of people who have it worse then us. A lot of them encouraged us to do the race even.

Dave: Well I have always had a huge fear of germs ever since I got meningitis as a kid

Jay: That’s actually a very common fear to have when you get really sick as a child, there’s many people on the group chat that have literally the same thing

Dave: So I’m not alone, Wow, I always thought people who had the type of OCD I do don’t go out much.

Mickey: How far did you get in your race

Dave: Well, I was the eighth guy eliminated

Jay: That’s not too bad, we came in seventh

Mickey: But the challenge required us to perform onstage. We have severe stage-fright because of that challenge.

Dave: What was it?

Jay: We had to perform air guitar in front of a local audience. I had no idea air guitar was so big in Finland.

Dave: I actually voted myself off because of the one person I thought I loved, completely rejected me on live TV. I even got to come back and help her, only to find out she had a boyfriend already. That girl really wasn’t worth it in the end

Jay: Wait, was it Sky? Because shes on my team, and she kept talking about wanting to help you.

Dave: Really, I can’t believe it

Jay: I dunno man, she sounded pretty sincere.

Dave: But she has a boyfriend already? She’d only be helping me out of pity for everything she did while I was on the Island.

Mickey: You never know, at least you have someone. Girls never notice us unless were in tremendous pain from one of our many aliments.

Jay: That’s why we usually don’t bother with women. We’d just be holding them back.

Dave: But why should I give Sky a chance after all she did to me?

Jay: Honestly in this circumstance, I would just say take it slow, but just don’t slow her down you know. She does seem interested in you more then that other guy. I didn’t even know she had a boyfriend. She just kept talking about you.

Dave: Well, at least that’s good to know

The three guys went as fast as they could around the island. Dave had a lot of thinking to do regarding Sky. Sky went through the forest with Lily, Sanders, and Brick. They went northwest as well, and didn’t find the Cabins when they got to the other side. It wasn’t helping Brick either as it was getting darker and he was getting scared as the time to find the Cabins was running out.

 

Brick: I really hope we reach the Cabins soon, this is giving me nightmares going through here

Sky: We just made a wrong turn somewhere Brick

Lily: Yeah, and now we’re going the other way, your gonna be fine, I believe in you

Brick: Thanks guys, I’ve been afraid of the dark ever since I got left in the barracks for 18 hours when I was in the cadets

Lily: Wow, that’s actually kinda scary, is that like solitary confinement

Brick: Well yes and no, It turns out that I wasn’t the person suppose to go to the barracks, the guy who was suppose to go bribed me into going down there, and then he went AWOL

Sanders: Try going AWOL in the police academy, you’d probably never come back. I knew a girl who tried that, and she ended up in Nicaragua.

Brick: Yikes, well this guy ended up in New York City, trying to find him would’ve been difficult.

Lily: But how did you guys know where they’d end up?

Brick: Usually around the Academy, word will travel pretty fast, we knew because one of the cadets got a letter from him with the return address in New York City

Sanders: Same thing with this girl, and I don’t even think she wrote it either.

Sky: Wow, but how did they suspect it was you in those barracks, Brick?

Brick: Well, I was a very easy target in the cadets, very loyal, but prone to following orders a bit too easily, which is why this guy was able to trick me so easily.

Lily: Oh my god, that’s horrible, but how did they know you were missing for almost a whole day?

Brick: Oh, because most of this occurred at night when the superiors were asleep, they didn’t even notice till the next day that I was missing.

Sanders: That sounds like a pretty corrupt Military Academy. They should have noticed immediately that someone in your squadron wasn’t there.

Brick: They did, but they thought I went AWOL also, they didn’t think to check solitary

Sky: So that’s why you’re afraid of the dark?

Brick: I have flashbacks of being in their with sensory deprivation, starvation, and nothing but blackness around every corner.

Lily: Brick, I think you might have PTSD, and it gets triggered when you’re in a dark environment, like now.

Brick: *sigh* I know I do. I got tested when I visited my mother and she noticed that I slept with the lights on the whole time I was home.

Sanders: Thank god it’s mild though, I know so many people with that and they can’t even leave their houses, just count your lucky stars you weren’t in a war.

Brick: Yeah, unfortunately I can’t serve because of it

Lily: It’s probably for the best Brick. If you had went to war, who knows what other things could be triggered.

Brick: Well, my dad’s side of the family are all career military leaders or generals. After they found out I got it, they pretty much stopped speaking to me. That’s why I haven’t talked to them in almost three years.

Sky: Wow, I’m so sorry

Lily: Yeah, me too

Brick: Actually girls, I feel a lot better having talked to all of you, but we are still pretty lost.

Sky: It’s ok Brick, just breathe, we’ll be there soon

Sanders: Actually, sooner then you think, look to your far right

It was still a mighty distance, but they could see a group of people standing around what looked like log Cabins and a house. They had finally made it out of the forest and it looked like they weren’t going to come in last place.

Brick: I see the Cabins cadets, lets go!

And with they all run as fast as they can to the Cabins, Brick was just lucky he didn’t have an accident on the way out of a dark place like he usually did, talking to the people he was with greatly improved the journey over. He would have taken the journey around the Island, but his competitive drive got the better of him and he decided to go into the forest after Jo and while he didn’t find her, Sanders was behind him the whole time.

 

Meanwhile at the Cabins, Amy was still pissed that she only had one vote.

Amy: Well I’m glad one person thinks I should get the Luxury Cabin.

Duncan: We know, you’ve said it like a thousand times already, don’t you know when to count your losses and move on. With enough idiots on the island, maybe you’ll get lucky.

Amy: As if I need any encouragement from some Blink 182 fanboy

Duncan: What that shitty pop band, your delusional, I don’t even listen to that garbage. What’s your catch, fucking EDM-trap bullshit?

Jaquan: Nigga that white as fuck, real trap is Future, Jezzy, my boy Skywalk 

Amy: Wow, who’s that, is he like Avicii

Jaquan: I know of a place called Avicii Pizza, but nah. Skywalk a real OG nigga. He rap about Detroit.

Amy: Well that figures

Just then Sky, Lily, Brick, and Sanders finally showed up to the Cabins in one piece.

Sanders: Wow I’m surprised MacArthur isn’t here yet

Brick: Or Jo, for that matter

Chris: Campers, It appears that Sky, Lily, Sanders, and Brick have made it to the Cabins alive, making it now 13 Roadrunners, 7 Skylarks, 9 Thunderbirds, and 8 Rams. Wow, did I miscount, nah I wouldn’t worry about it HAHA, but these Campers do need to decide who gets the Luxury Cabin.

Sky: Um, Who were the choices?

Chris: Amy or Samey

Lily: Really, who got here first?

Chris: Samey got here first, but with a group, Amy was the first to get here alone. Many of the Campers say Samey should get it because Amy apparently tried to throw balloons at her sister, but ended up hitting Spud and Dillon by accident. 

Lorenzo: Yeah, he didn’t even tell us you had to get here by yourself until Amy got here either.

Rock: Yeah, and I saw her throw those balloons

Lily: Yeah, I’m sorry, but that’s fucked up Chris, you should have told us before the challenge started, I’m going with Sammy, since she technically got here first

Sky: Yeah and Amy threw those balloons, that’s cheating, even though Dawn, Duncan, Sandy, DJ, B, I would have voted for you if it were an option.

Dawn: That’s ok Sky, Chris would pull something like this for ratings anyway.

Chris just stares at Dawn, but he still didn’t know if Sky voted for Samey or not.

Chris: So Sky, is it Samey

Sky: Yes

Chris: Kay, that’s 32 Samey so far, Sanders who do you pick?

Sanders: Samey played the game fairly, so I go with her

Brick: Me too, we could never tolerate Amy’s behavior back in the Cadets

Chris: Alrighty then I guess its 34 Samey and 1 Amy

Amy: Arrgghh this is fucking bullshit

Scott: Relax, your bound to get more votes soon

Amy: Idiot, if 8 more people vote for Samey, I’m not getting that Cabin, do you understand

Scott: Why wouldn’t I, these people are idiots for voting for your sister.

Jaquan: Really nigga, she still punched me in the stomach

Rock: And threw lead paint balloons at Spud and Dillon 

Scott: Seriously, who’s fault is that, shouldn’t have attracted attention to yourselves.

Amy: Are you kidding, I fell into a hole you dug

Scott: At least I helped you get out, but then you just left me in the hole

Amy: Because I fell in it. Like I’m gonna help somebody who put me in that position in the first place.

Amy did have a point. Scott did dig that hole she fell in. Speaking of which, Leonard, Tammy, and Sugar were still in that hole, but luckily it wouldn’t be for long because Laurie and Miles came across the trio. They had been admiring the forest and weren’t necessarily concerned about being the first ones at the Cabins. They just wanted to expose the horrible reality show for what it was and use the money to donate to even more charities. Although they were still hesitant about giving to anything having to do with animals. 

 

Laurie: This forest is beautiful, but I can’t help but feel like these trees are fakes

Miles: I know, apparently they use to shoot out from the ground

Laurie: And using rocket fuel is bad for the environment

Miles: Yeah, but the animals we saw seemed so happy to be here

Laurie: Yeah, I really hope they’re not like the animals in the ridonculous race, like those sharks who almost ate you, and those bullet ants that almost ate my face 

Miles: Laurie, I know your still mad at Don for that, but the birds and deer we saw confirmed that this island looks safe enough for the creatures on the island to thrive effectively.

Laurie: And hopefully we won’t have to eat them either

Suddenly they heard something up ahead

Laurie: Is that people I hear

Miles: I guess other people are lost in this forest too, see, I told you we weren’t the only ones lost Laurie

As they run to investigate, they realize it was Leonard, Tammy, and Sugar still trapped in the same hole Scott dug up an hour ago. It was too bad he was at the Cabins already, and couldn’t enjoy watching the trio try spell after fake spell to get out of the hole.

Laurie: Leonard, Tammy, Sugar, are you guys trapped in this hole.

Sugar: What the fuck you think, we’ve been down here almost an hour and none of their spells are working.

Miles: Do you guys need help getting out?

Leonard: That would be marvelous, our spells for levitation don’t seem to be working at the moment.

Tammy: And that Scott guy is a real dickhead

Laurie: Was he the one that dug this hole and left you guys to rot in it?

Miles: I swear people have no sense of compassion for others like they use to.

Laurie: Here, take my hand

And with that, Leonard, Sugar, and Tammy are helped out of the hole one by one.

Tammy: Thanks for getting us out of that hole guys

Miles: No problem, Scott is nothing but bad vibes all around

Laurie: And for making you fall in that hole, I wouldn’t trust him

Sugar: Yeah I can’t wait to give him a peace of my mind too. He climbed on top of me to get out of his own hole instead of waiting for the wizard to finish his spell.

Leonard: Yes, He is a very impatient fellow. I almost had that levitation spell perfect and he didn’t believe in it.

Laurie and Miles looked at each other, they didn’t believe in spells, but it was still a cruel thing to leave fellow teammates hanging like that.

Sugar: Hey guys are we gonna stand here like sardines or get to the Cabins before everyone else shows up.

Tammy: Onward to victory fellow teammates

And with that The Vegans, Larpers, and Sugar commence to getting to the Cabins. On the other side of the Island, Geoff, Bridgette, Brody, Chester, and Junior wonder whether or not they will ever make it to the Cabins. It had been a almost an hour since the first Campers arrived at the Cabins and they were getting nervous. They had managed to get one step ahead of the Ice Dancers by pure luck and the way they kept trying to gain on them and Chester managing to find a way to always outsmart them is what kept them from falling behind.

 

Brody: Dude are we ever getting to those Cabins

Geoff: We should get to them eventually bro

Chester: Yeah, even those Ice Dancers ain’t there yet

Junior: Looks like their not getting bronze either

They all had to laugh at that because it was true. Suddenly, Bridgette noticed a light up ahead. It looked like a flicker from a fire, but it wasn’t too far from where they were now. The light was coming from on top of a small hill that had rocks and debris surrounding it 

Bridgette: Hey guys I see something up ahead, it looks like where the Cabins are at.

Once they got closer to the light, they noticed that it was indeed the back of some kind of house, indicating that this must be where the Cabins were located and what they were seeing now was the back of the Luxury Cabin.  
It was located on top of a steep hill that wasn’t much of a climb from where the five were now. The only thing that sucked was that there wasn’t really a beach behind it, just a decent ocean view. Looks like there wouldn’t be surfing going on this season.

Geoff: Dude we fucking made it 

Brody: I couldn’t have done it without you guys. It’s too bad that the surf sucks donkey balls

Bridgette: Camp Wawanakwa was similar, so I’m not too surprised that there isn’t any surf on this island 

Junior: Hopefully we can get there before Josee because I see her far behind us now

Chester: Oh Shit, Hey what happened to the other guy?

Geoff: I don’t know, but quick dudes, lets get to that hill before she catches up.

The five run to the hill as fast as they could. They knew if they didn’t act fast, as always, Josee would probably go ahead of them and be considered the winner of the around the Island part of the challenge, if there was such a thing as that.

Josee: Ha, I see the Cabins now, but I also see those fucking buffoon surfer friends, and I’m not about to come in 43nd place. That’s not even a participation trophy in the Olympics.

Meanwhile, back at the Cabins, they were still going on about who the next person to vote for Samey or Amy would be.

Duncan: Did any of those people who went around the Island even show up yet? It’s like 9:30 already and I’m tired as fuck

Sandy: That’s not that late. Pimps usually start their hussle around that time.

Duncan: HAHA yeah, maybe this is one of those sleep deprived challenges in disguise.

Dawn: But considering you haven’t slept in two days, it would be wise to catnap at this point Duncan.

Duncan: Wow, shes good, how’d you know

Dawn: As you know, I read auras. It’s normal for someone at this point to be passed out by now.

Duncan: Oh, but I’ve gone longer then this before, Chris had us do a challenge where the person who went without sleep the longest would win the challenge. I almost won, but then I decided I had to go to the bathroom and ended up passed out on the toilet.

Sandy: HAHAHAHA, yeah I saw that one, you lasted almost 5 whole days without sleep.

Suddenly everyone heard commotion coming from behind the Luxury Cabin, It sounded like the people who went around the Island have finally showed up.

Sandy: Finally, the people who went around the Island are here it sounds like. I just hope it’s not Jacques or Josee.

Dawn: I have a feeling it isn’t either of them, but one of them will be here soon though

Suddenly it was revealed, Geoff, Brody, Chester, Junior, and Bridgette appeared from behind the Luxury Cabin, they had beaten the Ice Dancers

Geoff: Sup dude’s, Sorry we took so long

Brody: Yeah, lets party guy

Chris: Well before we do that, lets announce the winners from around the Island

Before he could do that Josee showed up, causing many of the Campers to groan. She then threw a massive tantrum after realizing she really was in 43nd Place.

Josee: AAAAAAGGGHHHHHHH you all cheated

Sandy: Ummm you’re the one who decided to go around the island, Bitch

Josee: Shut the fuck up, you’re the one who’s here illegally

Duncan: Are you fucking kidding me, get the fuck over yourself, you lost the Olympics, deal with it, sore loser.

Josee: I don’t have to take insults from people who aren’t winners.

Duncan: Ummm Me, Sandy, DJ, Dawn, and The Silent Guy were technically the first one here. According to your logic, we got the gold, and you got a participation trophy. You were also never really a winner; you’re just a psycho. 

Chris: ALRIGHT, ARE WE DONE. I have to announce the winners now. Campers, it looks like Geoff, Brody, Bridgette, Junior, Chester, and Josee went around the Island and are finally here which will now make it 13 Roadrunners, 11 Skylarks, 10 Thunderbirds, and 9 Rams. Those in the forest still should probably hurry up and the ones who took the scenic route along the Island. Your time to walk is getting slim, HAHA, I made a fat joke.

B just put his thumb down in response to that

Chris: So for the Six Campers, who should get the Luxury Cabin?

Josee: Obviously I should. A Cabin like this one is made for Olympic champions like me.

Chris: Ahem, I meant either Amy or Samey

Josee: Well since Amy is on my team, I might as well go for her 

Chris: Wow that’s two for Amy, see Amy, some people believe you should have the Cabin

Amy: Whatever

Chris: Geoff, who do you pick?

Geoff: I don’t know, they look similar

Junior: If you guys don’t mind, I’m going with Samey. She’s a lot cooler then her sister and that revenge you did on your sister was totally worth it.

Sammy: Thanks Junior

Amy: Ugh, Why does the little brat get to vote, he’s not even old enough to drive, let alone vote.

Junior: Ummm I’ve driven before, and besides, I’ve seen enough Pakiteaw Island to know that putting you in that Cabin is a terrible idea.

Geoff: You know what? I’ll go with Samey also

Brody: Yeah, me too

Bridgette: Ditto

Chester: Wait, Why are we voting for the mole less twin?

Chester did have a point, he didn’t understand why Samey was getting all the votes and Amy was barely getting any 

Chris: Well Chester, Samey was the first one here, but the point was to go alone. I had to explain this to Sky also; so I’m not gonna repeat myself this time either.

Chester: Well, who’d she eventually choose?

Sky stood up and explained her decision to this guy

Sky: Well Chester, I chose Samey because she got here first, and Amy tried to throw paint balloons at her, but it ended up hitting Spud and Dillon by accident. Considering the fact that Chris never told us we had to go off on our own and the fact that I couldn’t choose Duncan, Sandy, B, Dawn, and DJ. It made it clear that Samey was the winner in this challenge

Chester: Wow, that’s a lot to digest, but I’ll go with Samey also, Amy cheated

Chris: Which makes it 39 Samey and 2 Amy

Amy: Oh great, now she’ll defenantly get the Cabin, thanks idiots

Josee: Oh shut up crybaby, you’re lucky I voted for you at all

Amy was seething that she wasn’t going to get the Cabin, but there was still three more people that could either vote for her or her inferior sister. MacArthur, Jo, and Eva had taken off after Lightning and Jaquan initially, but Eva got a leg cramp, making them postpone trying to go after those two idiots. After she recovered for a bit, the two then proceeded to go in the wrong direction where Lightning and Jaquan were. Luckily once they realized their mistake, they took off in the right direction.

 

MacArthur: I can’t believe those two fucks beat us

Jo: I’m genuinely surprised right now

MacArthur: Yeah, even my partner Sanders made it to the Cabins. There’s no way it is this hard to find them.

Eva: Well, we did backtrack quite a bit when I had that hamstring

Jo: Yeah, at least you were able to shake it off in no time.

MacArthur: If you used the Stair Machine more, you wouldn’t be having them as much. 

Eva: Yeah, but I’m still tired of going through this forest. We’ve been in here for over two hours with not a single Cabin in sight.

MacArthur: If I had one of my bloodhounds locate the Cabins, we’d be there before everybody.

Jo: You have dogs

MacArthur: No, the department has them for training purposes.

Eva: So then how do you know about them, when you don’t even have them?

MacArthur: My mom use to take care of dogs before she had me. One time this guy named Pablo shows up at my Mom’s work with these two bloodhounds and offered her $20,000 to take care of his dogs.

Eva: That is a lot of money to be taking care of dogs 

Jo: Where do you even get that kind of cash?

MacArthur: Well let’s just say that’s not all my mom did for this guy.  
Jo: For $20,000, I don’t think all I would be doing is walking, feeding, and bathing the things.

MacArthur: Well no she did that, but the guy also wanted her to do the same thing as the dogs were doing.

Eva and Jo looked at each other. Obviously there was something up with this guy named Pablo. Who spends $20,000 on just taking care of dogs?

Eva: Wait, so her friend Pablo wanted to walk, feed, and bathe her too.

MacArthur: How do you think I’m here now genius?

Jo: So, Pablo’s your father?

MacArthur: That’s what my mom said, but he took off before he even found out she was pregnant. She did manage to find out who he really was though. Turns out the guys name was Pablo Escobar, some famous Colombian drug lord.

Eva: So is that why you became a cop, so that you wouldn’t end up like that guy

MacArthur: Partly, but I didn’t even know he was my dad until he was gunned down on TV and my mom saw it. That was the day I realized I’d rather protect people from guys like my actually father.

Jo: That’s actually makes sense

MacArthur: Well it was also the day I swore off men too.

Eva: Huh? Why would you do that, I mean, yeah your father did a lot of corrupt and illegal things, but why does that constitute swearing men off as well.

MacArthur: Well, I never liked men anyway, never had feelings for them, but when I saw who my father really was for the first time, it made it official.

Jo: Wait, Does that mean you’re a lesbian?

MacArthur: I couldn’t have it any other way.

Jo: Yeah, I am too, although I just kind of thought people would know that already watching Revenge of the Island

Eva: You’d be surprised how blind people really are to that, Even that Brick guy seemed to have a crush on you.

Jo: Ahh, it was fun leading him on like that, but he is a fair competitor, ill give you that 

MacArthur: That’s the same type of thing me and Brody had, but I think he’s taking well to the fact that I just told him shortly before the challenge.

Jo: Yeah, it seems like he would, although I think Brick sees me as just a friendly competitor

Eva: Can you imagine if he were like Sierra?

Jo: HAHAHAHA, I think I wouldn’t be here if that were the case

MacArthur: HA, I’ve seen dozens of Looney Bins in my line of work; you have nothing to worry about.

Well for Eva, she had a lot to worry about. Here were two people that just said they were lesbians and it was making her really nervous. She was still a closeted lesbian and not as keen to share any details with others, especially the rest of the Campers. At least for her though, these people seemed trustworthy enough and were on the same team as her.

Eva: Wait so both of you are lesbians, right?

MacArthur: Well yeah, but I also kinda figured you were one too?

Eva: Umm. What makes you say that?

MacArthur: Well I don’t know, but I kind of have a hunch. If your not that’s totally cool though, maybe Brody can take you.

Eva: Well, it’s complicated. Yes, I’ve never had a boyfriend because of my intimidating nature, and I’ve never really had any interest in guys, but I’ve also never really had any feelings toward anybody, even girls.

Jo: Really, Does that mean your one of those asexuals I keep hearing about on the Internet recently?

Eva: I guess so

MacArthur: Wow, I didn’t even think it was a thing to not be attracted to anything.

Jo: You’d be surprised what you can find on Tumblr if you look hard enough, they even got goat-sexual on there

MacArthur: It is legal in Canada to fuck a goat

Jo: HAHAHAHA, True

Eva: I think I prefer humans though, that’s just weird enough as it is.

MacArthur: Hey guys I think I see the Cabins, lets hussle

MacArthur was right she did see the Cabins, and the three started to run as fast as they could. Too bad they got their right before Chris announced that Heather and Taylor were also there now.

Chris: Seriously, Heather and Taylor just got here also

Jo: Shut the fuck up McLean, and announce us also

Chris: Campers, It looks like 5 Skylarks have just come across the Cabins. Heather, Taylor, MacArthur, Jo, and Eva will now make it 13 Roadrunners, 16 Skylarks, 10 Thunderbirds, and 9 Rams. Skylarks, you now have 5 more people that need to get here. I’d hate to be on that team right now.

But there was still business at hand. Would Amy actually pull a miracle and have 47 more people vote for her so that she could finally have that Luxury Cabin or will Samey finally get the peace and quiet she rightfully deserved. It would have to lay in the Hands of these 5 individuals.

Heather: While I would have totally strangled you to get the Cabins, I think I’ll go with Amy

Taylor: Yeah, Totally

Chris: Wow, 4 people want Amy in that Luxury Cabin

What nobody knew though was that Heather and Taylor were only trying to get on Amy’s good side so that she could join their alliance they were forming.

Chris: Who would you ladies like to have the Cabins?

Eva: I think nobody should have that Cabin unless Dawn, Duncan, DJ, Sandy, and That Big Guy have it first, since they technically won.

Jo: Yeah, when we competed on all-stars, the whole team was allowed in the Luxury Cabin.

Chris: But I only put 1 bed in there

Eva: Yeah, well your gonna have 5 beds in there when it’s all said and done

MacArthur: But if my ears are deceiving me, I think Samey got here before Amy, so it would be fair to put her in that Cabin.

Chris: So it’s 40 Samey and 4 Amy, Eva and Jo, you guys are totally right. We should have defenantly put more beds in there, but we forgot. Looks like you guys have a choice to make.

Eva: *Heavy Sigh* Samey

Jo: Fuck it, Samey

Chris: And It looks like Samey will win the Cabin, when one more person shows up to confirm it.

Everyone at the Cabins: *Groans*

Sammy was excited, but she couldn’t help but wonder why she was the one getting the Cabin when the five who got there first should have had it from the beginning. Sure it was nice to have something all to herself instead of having to share with Amy, but something about this just didn’t seem right to her. 

Sammy: Dillon, have you ever have this feeling that somebody else should have something instead of you

Dillon: Yeah, it’s called being guilty for winning something you didn’t exactly deserve.

Sammy: Well, maybe that Eva girl was right. It doesn’t seem fair that I’m getting the Cabin and not any of the people that got here first.

Dillon: Well, I mean they did raise their hands for you though, but your right, they should at least get something, you know. Hey wait a second I got an Idea; I’ll talk to them about trying to share the Cabin.

Sammy: Umm. Shouldn’t I go talk to them?

Dillon: I would let you talk to them, but Amy’s staring at you. If you go and talk to them, she’ll suspect something’s up.

Sammy: Oh, you’re right, ok ill go over there

Dillon: That’s the Idea HEHE; Ill let you know what happens

As Dillon goes and prepares the five actual winners, back around the Island, Topher and Blaineley were coming up with a plan of their own.

 

Topher: I can’t wait to finally get my revenge on Chris for what he did to me last season.

Blaineley: Yeah, he really is a pathetic excuse of a human. I was suppose to host World Tour, not compete on it.

Topher: And I was suppose to take over as host

Blaineley: I guess that makes both us, but what was your motivation in trying to be like Chris?

Topher: Well, I always wanted to be a game show host when I was little. Then when Total Drama came out, it seemed I knew my purpose in life, but after actually competing on this show, I started having second thoughts.

Blaineley: Seriously kid, you have what it takes; just don’t go after Chris for it.

Topher: Well I realize that now, but I’m still competing on this show with no way out.

Blaineley: Well 22 Million Dollars is quite a lot of money, I don’t even know how he would go about trying to get that kind of prize money. You know now that I think about it, maybe this is truly the last Total Drama Chris will ever do.

Topher: Maybe the producers are realizing how much of a nutcase he actually is.

Blaineley: Wow, are you wet behind the ears. They know getting rid of Chris would be a bad idea, so they’re just going to cancel the show altogether.

Topher: What made you come up with that Idea?

Blaineley: Oh, I just have this feeling he won’t be lasting long after this is all over. I saw the last season of Total Drama and I like you kid. You may not be Chris, but you sure have the attitude to be the host of something.

Topher: Thanks Blaineley

Blaineley: Don’t thank me; lets just hurry to the Cabins.

And they start running for the Cabins, what they’ll talk about on the way to the Cabins would be anybody’s guess. Too bad for them that Ryan, Stephanie, and Leshawna have just arrived.

Chris: Thanks to Ryan, Stephanie, and Leshawna, the count is now 14 Roadrunners, 16 Skylarks, 12 Thunderbirds, and 9 Rams. And they now have to choose between Samey and Amy

Ryan: Well, I’m picking Samey since she’s on my team

Chris: You know what that means; there is absolutely no point in voting anymore, because Samey finally won the Luxury Cabin.

Amy: Are you fucking kidding me, you all suck, my sister is nothing but weak compared to me. I had the audacity to go alone in this challenge and it was totally my idea.

Scott: Was it your idea to fall in my hole and have me pull you up too.

Amy: AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH, Seriously, you have got to be the most ridiculous person I’ve ever met in my life.

Scott: And you have got to be the most cunning and ruthless women I’ve ever laid eyes on, so tell me, what other tricks do you know.

Amy: Ugh, don’t you know when to quit you goddam skeaze

Jaquan: HAHA, Nigga, I have no idea what that mean, but you got it.

Scott and Amy look at each other. Was this guy really this dumb?

Scott and Amy: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Scott: Do you not know what a Skeaze is, I thought you had all the hood lingo down pat

Jaquan: Yo, you came to my hood saying that shit, both ya’ll asses would’ve got beat.

Amy: Eeww, and why would I want to go to some trash filled ghetto filled with people like Stephanie and Leshawna running around

Stephanie: Oh, no she didn’t

Leshawna: Girl, let me handle this

Scott: See, you just had to bring a BET Sitcom into this, didn’t you

Leshawna: Who the fuck still watches those, not only are ya’ll disrespectful as fuck, but you both highly ignorant as well, now I really can’t wait to eliminate the both of you.

Scott: Wow, I’m moved by your Black Lives Matter protest, makes me want to totally grab all of my imaginary college friends and start blocking major freeways.

Amy: Oh my god, who does that?

Jaquan: My cousin was in that one in Missouri. He managed to steal a bike straight out the store, and ain’t nobody say shit. Still got the thing too.

Leshawna and Stephanie look at each other. Their team was compromised of some of the dumbest and most ignorant members Leshawna had ever come across, but it left both girls with an easy feeling that they wouldn’t be around long. 

Leshawna: Now I really hope you fools don’t last long

Scott: I’ll be looking forward to it.

Meanwhile on another side of the Cabins, Dillon gathers Duncan and Dawn. He would have bought everybody who actually did come in first but not only did he not want Amy to notice anything about his plan, but he didn’t want Chris suspecting that all the first place members were off in the woods planning to take over the Cabin.

 

Duncan: So what you’re saying is that Samey thinks that all 5 of us deserve the Cabin, but why’d she get you to tell us?

Dillon: Because if she lead you in the forest, it would have been obvious to Amy, so I volunteered to go in her place. Plus, I didn’t want Chris finding out either, so I only bought both of you instead of everyone else.

Dawn: But Sammy deserves that Cabin. This is the escape from her sister that she needed.

Dillon: And the cool thing is she don’t mind sharing it with you guys, you think Amy would’ve done that

Duncan: Probably not, shes a bitch and a half who’s fake as fuck

Dawn: And it all stems from them being identical twins, your twin brothers barely fight

Dillon: Yeah, wait, how do you know I have twin brothers?

Dawn: It’s in your aura, along with your crush on Sammy and The tragic death of your Mother shaping who you are today.

Dillon: Oh my god, don’t tell me everyone on the Island knows any of this shit, I mean this guy knows already. 

Dawn: No Dillon, no one knows except me and Duncan.

Dillon: *sigh* I’m sorry I blew up a little there, I guess you guys know my Mom died giving birth to my little sister when I was 9.

Duncan: Damn dude, I’m sorry

Dillon: Oh nah dude you good, it gets easier with time

Dawn: But at least your sister survived, and you shouldn’t let that effect you life either. You’re a good person Dillon and I think Sammy will appreciate it.

Dillon: Yeah, but I mean, I’m short, have long hair, and play in a Metal band. Cheerleaders don’t usually go for that.

Duncan: I know that all too well, that’s like if I went out with Lindsay, oh wait, I did.

Dawn: But I also know that you have a crush on Sandy, I must warn you that she is extremely fragile Duncan.

Duncan: Ok, I promise not to drop her

Dillon: I mean you could probably lift her right

But Chris announced more Campers that came in rapid succession

Chris: Campers it looks like Mary, Ellody, Jay, Mickey, Dave, Ezekiel, Harold, Sierra, and Cody have all made it to the Cabins within a two minute stretch of time as pointed out by Chef on the radar. That makes it now 17 Roadrunners, 18 Skylarks, 13 Thunderbirds, and 12 Rams.

Duncan: Fuck, how did they get there that fast

Dillon: I don’t know dude, but you guys know what the basic plan is right

Duncan: Yeah we’ll wait an hour after it’s all over to bring our cots over to the Luxury Cabin

Dawn: And I know Sammy won’t mind either?

Dillon: I had a feeling she wouldn’t, be nice to have company to keep off Amy right.

As the three walk back to their respective teams, Dillon tells Samey the good news.

Sammy: So did they agree?

Dillon: Yep, and they invited you to join them, so your getting that Cabin no matter what. They also promised to keep a good eye on Amy if she tries anything funny.

Sammy: Really, they shouldn’t have, they’re the ones that deserve it more than me.

Dillon: Sam, don’t let Amy have a foothold on your head. I know it ain’t easy to enjoy things you don’t deserve, but look at all those people who prefer you over Amy. 

Sammy: Wow, you’re right, are you going to tell Chris 

Dillon: Fuck No, The plan is for him to think you’re the winner, and then an hour after he’s gone the five winners will come in through the front door. Just keep it unlocked and dark as hell in between when you enter the Cabin and when you know the coast is clear.

Sammy: HAHA, that’s pretty sneaky, but ok, lets just hope one of them isn’t Amy.

Dillon: That would be an unexpected surprise besides Chris dressed as Wolverine

Sammy: HAHAHAHA, that would be unexpected

But what wasn’t unexpected was that the teams who went around the Island may be gaining on the Campers still in the forest trying to find the Cabins. Noah, Emma, Kitty, Rodney, Devin, Carrie, Owen, and Izzy were still in the forest. They had missed the general direction of where the camp was and were now wondering whether or not they would even come in last.

 

Izzy: Guys, I’m sorry I got us lost again

Emma: Oh no, its fine, but I’m Volunteering that Owen comes in last if Justin gets there before us

Owen: Oh come on *cough*

Emma: Well, it doesn’t look like you’re getting any better after eating that fruit.

Noah: Yeah, we don’t want anybody turning into a cherry on our watch

Owen: But all I need *cough* is a drink of *cough* water

Rodney: Wait; did he eat a Manchineel Fruit?

Carrie: What’s a Manchineel Fruit?

Rodney: Oh, it’s this fruit that grows on this island that might kill you. Amy ate one of those too, but she was eliminated before I could see if she felt better or not.

Kitty: Well she’s still here so I guess that’s hope

Noah: See that Owen, you’re not gonna die after all

Owen: What a *cough* relief

Devin: Hey look I see something up ahead

Carrie: Please tell me that’s the Cabins

It actually wasn’t the Cabins Devin was seeing. The Eight Campers were actually the first to stumble upon the brand new Dining Hall. It was located quite a distance behind the Skylark and Thunderbird Cabins. The reason nobody that was at the Cabins had seen the dining hall yet was because it was still quite dark out and nobody had thought to look that way for it. 

Noah: If that is where were sleeping, Chris has really outdone himself

Emma: Are you serious, that things way too big to be a Cabin

Kitty: Lets check it out!

And so the Eight Campers went inside the big building. Once they found a light switch and turned it on however, they realized their mistake, but the dinning hall was surprisingly nice inside, too bad the Campers already at the Cabin noticed when the light switched on.

Scott: Is that the Dining Hall?

Chris: Did I forget to mention the Dining Hall too, whoops, yes campers that is the Dining Hall. I was going to wait until everybody got here, but now I have no choice. Chef, how many people are in there?

Chef: About 8

Scarlett: How does Chef know there’s 8 people in there?

Chris: Radar Tracking, Chef heat scanned each of you after we took off in the helicopter.

Brick: Well, it does make sense to use it when you are lost in the woods, but it’s still an invasion of privacy.

Chris: Well no, we just needed it for the challenge; it would have been better to do this than have 88 drones flying around, and we knew it was a privacy concern, but we already have dozens of hidden cameras, why should we have more HEHE.

Chef: Well we only got 20 people left; I’ll go look who in the Dining Hall 

Chef then left his post and is now on his way to the dinning hall. Meanwhile the eight take a good look at the Dining Hall, too bad Owen went into the kitchen for some water.

Noah: For Christ sakes, the minute we turn on the light and he’s off to the races

Emma: Owen, save the water for everyone else will you

Owen: Aaahhh, much better

Izzy: Yay, at least your not as red anymore.

Chef: WHAT ARE YA’LL DOING IN MY KITCHEN, GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE AND GET TO THE CABINS FOOLS

Izzy: Oh, hi Chef, are we close to the Cabins?

Chef: Closer then you think

The eight then look out the window to see that indeed they were very close to the Cabins

Kitty: Ummm. Yeah probably a good idea to head to the Cabins, thanks Chef

And so the Eight ran to the Cabins, little did they know Katie and Sadie also showed up at the same time.

Chris: It looks like Katie and Sadie have allowed the Skylarks to now have 20 Members of their team show up. It looks like it’s now Devin and Blaineley who will be the last Skylark to show up

Just then the Eight Campers show up

Chris: This is what was hiding in the Dining Hall, Really.

Noah: No, we were just waiting for the other Campers to show up in order to surprise you.

Emma: HAHAHAHA

Chris Angrily glares at Noah, He just announced Katie and Sadie being here, and now these 8 show up, including Devin.

Chris: *Heavy sigh* Sorry to just interrupt again, but 8 more campers just arrived also, and it looks like someone on the Skylarks will be going home as soon as they get here because with the arrival of Devin, we now have 21 Skylarks all here. He also showed up with Carrie, Noah, Emma, Kitty, Rodney, Owen, and Izzy. Now the Skylarks may have everyone now, but the Roadrunners look like they’re going to be next with 20 Roadrunners now here, as for the rest of the teams there are still 17 Thunderbirds and 12 Rams.

The Skylarks were happy that they were finally over who would be on their team, especially Geoff.

Geoff: Dude, Blaineley didn’t show up yet………..FUCK YES

Brody: Oh, wasn’t she that girl who fucking tried to embarrass the fuck out of you and Bridgette

Geoff: Yeah, she’s evil bro; don’t even know why she was picked to be on our team.

Bridgette: And now she won’t be getting in the way of us or try to ship me off to another Antarctica.

Chester: You went to Antarctica?

Bridgette: HAHA, No, Blaineley did shipped me off to Siberia though.

Geoff: That girl is just like the Ice Dancers, Cold and Ruthless

Chester: Wow, and I kinda had a crush on that girl

Brody: Seriously

Chester: Yeah, but then I saw all those aftermath episodes late at night and I realize it wouldn’t work, she just look too much like my cousin Jenny

Bridgette: Whoa, you have a cousin that looks like Blaineley

Chester: Well, the only main difference is that she 19, wears skimpier outfits, and lives in Arkansas.

Junior: Aww Man, I was hoping she was my age

Chester: Well, I do have my cousins Elle and Myra that might be around your age.

Junior: How many cousins do you have even?

Chester: About 35

Brody: Yo Geoff, we should totally crash this dude’s family reunion

Geoff: HAHAHA, yeah right

Chester: Oh yeah, we have one every summer, always fun, although the last one we had my Uncle Remus got so drunk he mistook My Aunt Tillie for My Aunt Millie

Bridgette: How could he get it so wrong?

Chester: Well they’re Identical Twins. Unlike those two blonde girls over there, my Twins aunts you can’t even tell apart If you dress them different

Brody: Damn dude, we’re defenantly going now guy

Geoff: Yeah, send us an invite

Chester: If you come out to Georgia, I’m sure Mee-Maw wouldn’t mind seeing a few extra party crashers. Theres usually hundreds of people there anyway, and shes kinda old, so she won’t know your not family.

Geoff: Sweet

It might have been good times around the Cabins now that Geoff didn’t have to deal with Blaineley for almost three months, but Courtney was not happy with the fact that now she had to compete with Justin to get the last bed in the Cabin. With the exception of Mario, she had abandoned everyone still behind her and is now focused solely on not coming in last. 

 

Courtney: Great, just great, I might be sent home

Mario: But I haven’t seen Justin around since I past him staring at his reflection almost two hour ago.

Courtney: Well he can’t still be there since they already called most of the other Roadrunners already and he’s the only one I still have to beat.

Mario: And I would hate to see you go so soon, you have a fierce history in this competition, and to throw it away now would be pointless.

Courtney: Exactly, you know I don’t even know why I stayed behind when usually, I’d be ahead of everyone, or at least try to be ahead of everyone.

Mario: Distractions are so easy to get lost in, aren’t they?

Courtney: Well, you seem distracted by me, that’s for sure.

Mario: And maybe that’s why I’m so far behind also

Courtney: Because you’d rather be helping me get ahead then your own teammates.

Mario: Because to lose someone that is a staple of the total drama franchise over that tanning buffoon is ridiculous.

Courtney: You should see the fandom that’s still generating from when I was with Duncan.

Mario: Was being in a relationship with him really just for ratings or did it actually happen?

Courtney: Both, yes the feelings were mutual at first, but then once I started seeing him for who he really was I completely lost interest, but the thing was that the writers didn’t believe we broke up and wrote a lot of plot points to keep the relationship going for the fans.

Mario: I guess that is to be expected in a reality show where people are at the mercy of the writers, and to think they would even have writers on this show

Courtney: I will admit, a lot of this could be scripted like most reality shows, but Chris is way too unpredictable and rebellious to even think about having writers unless it adds something to the drama.

Mario: So for the most part, it’s only slightly scripted

But Courtney saw something in the distance that looked like a silhouette of Justin running as fast as he could.

Courtney: Oh god look behind you is that Justin?

Mario: Unfortunately it looks like it, we better hurry, I hate to see that guy win

Courtney: Right 

As it turned out, Justin had stared at his reflection for a good hour. Once Chris had announced Duncan, Sandy, DJ, Dawn, and B as the first ones to get to the Cabins, he immediately bolted down the Island as fast as he could and now he seemed to have caught up, even though he was still a good distance behind Courtney and Mario.

Mario: Do you see the Cabins at least?

Courtney: No, but I do see the back of a house

Mario: Isn’t that the Luxury Cabin those two twins were bickering about?

Courtney: It could be Chris’s Cabin for all I know

Mario: Well we have to find out, I would hate to not know?

 

Meanwhile back at the Cabins, the remaining Roadrunners were wondering who would emerge victorious and would compete with them for the rest of the three months

Lindsay: All I know is that I really don’t want Caitlyn competing with us

Sky: But there is nobody named Caitlyn on our team

Zoey: I think she means Courtney, but I’ve never met Justin before, I wonder what he’s like.

Trent: Yeah, he’s not a bad guy, just extremely obsessed with his looks

Jay: Is that why I saw him just staring into the ocean, not moving a muscle when I past him before 

Trent: Probably

Jay: But that was also two hours ago, who knows how far away he is now

Jasmine: Well whoever it is, lets just hope they add something to our team.

Ezekiel: And help me win the Money, Eh

Trent: Goddammit Ezekiel, back at it again with that money, sometimes you just gotta put substance over surface man

Ezekiel: Oh yeah, I forgot

But what everyone could not forget was the commotion going on behind the Luxury Cabin.

Lily: What was that?

Sky: Sounds way too far to dissect right now, but I hear arguing

That was indeed what was going on. Justin had actually managed to get to the hill just as Courtney and Mario were about to climb it. It was quite an impossible task for someone who was way far behind, but now that it was just him and Courtney, he had no plans of going home.

Courtney: Eat this, Justin

Courtney had kicked small rocks from above, but it barely made a dent on Justin’s face. Now he was more determined to get even. He then threw tiny rocks at her only to have Mario furious

Mario: Are you serious, how could you treat women like that. I knew you were ruthless, but that’s cold

Justin: I get it, you have a little crush on her, that’s cool, but I had her first.

Mario: What are you talking about; your charm wore off faster then my I-watch updates

Justin: And your character is wearing off faster then Princess Peach running a Marathon.

Mario: You Fake Hawaiian

But Justin was way too focused to give a damn about what Mario was saying. He was going to win a spot for that 22 Million Dollars if it killed him, but too bad for him because Courtney was nearing the top of the hill 

Courtney: Too bad, looks like I’m winning 

Justin started to pick up the pace though and managed to catch up to them. It was impossible to try because of all the rock-throwing going on between the three of them but they all got to the top of the hill and are now neck in neck to reach the Cabins. The weird thing about all this was that it wasn’t Mario’s battle to get involved in either.

Justin: Why are you even helping her, your not on the same team.

Mario: I am only helping her out of honor

Justin: HAHA, you like her don’t you?

Mario: What makes you say this?

Meanwhile behind the Cabin the Campers are hearing every word.

Amy: Go Justin

Gwen: Seriously fuck Justin; I still want to repair my relationship with Courtney

Amy: Oh Boo Hoo, your lesbian lover isn’t here yet, go cry about it over there you fake-ass Goth wannabe

Gwen: I’m fake, seriously little girl your not even close to Heather evil, so stop trying.

But Amy didn’t have time to react as Courtney and Mario show up followed by Justin, who was disappointed that he was probably going to be the one going home.

Chris: And it looks like Courtney, Mario, and Justin have arrived at the Cabins, but unfortunately I gotta send either Courtney or Justin home from the Roadrunners because there are now 22 of them here now, and with the arrival of Mario the Rams now have 13 people, seriously where are you guys.

Courtney: But I got here before Justin

Justin: And she cheated by throwing rocks at me

Chris: Ok I got an Idea, Courtney, Justin, What is the Capital of Zimbabwe?

Justin: Oh come on, is that your way of dealing with who stays?

Courtney: I don’t know, Omigooke

Mario: It’s Harare

Chris: Mario is right, but you’re not a part of this, you interrupt an answer again, you’ll be the one eliminated.

Mario: You don’t have to tell me twice.

Chris: Alright another question, where was the Battle of Dunkirk located?

Justin: Ummm, Arkansas

Courtney: France

Chris: Courtney is correct, she gets to say, and as for you Justin, sorry dude, but this is your swan song along with Blaineley and two other people.

Justin: And I never had the chance to redeem myself

Chris: There’s always next time

Scarlett: So whats your method of elimination this time?

Chris: Well Scarlett, we would have to wait for the rest of the Campers to get here.

Scarlett: Fair Enough

And so Justin was going to be the one going home for the Roadrunners and Blaineley was going home for the Skylarks. The other two teams still had members in either the forest or around the Island who it could be was anyone’s guess.

For the last of the Campers on either team it wasn’t going to be an easy choice. Max was still alone in the forest, Staci was still in the forest, and so were Sugar, Leonard, Tammy, Laurie, and Miles.

 

Sugar: If we come in last place, I volunteer that ugly fucking chatterbox Staci

Tammy: Yeah, everyone knows that Viking Hats came from Nordic tradition, not from your Great, Great, Great, Great Aunt Phyllis

Miles: I don’t know, I find her relatives interesting, I would love to learn more about them

Laurie: Yeah, don’t you know how much history she could be uncovering 

Sugar: Well y’all fucking crazy, the only history I need is whatever happens on the history channel

Tammy: You mean where ancient artifacts are sold and conspiracies run rampant

Sugar: Well I figure they would have something on George Washington

Tammy: They usually have reality shows on there now, but they have this new show on called Vikings that I don’t find very accurate to Viking culture.

Laurie: I always wanted to visit Norway and learn more about Viking Culture

Miles: I wonder why that wasn’t a stop in the race, but then again they were savages weren’t they, raping and pillaging any village with chaos. I’m glad we’ve grown up from such barbaric times.

Tammy: They were only doing what they could to survive

Sugar: I bet if the Villagers had the wizard by their side, his force field could protect all of Norwall

Leonard: Well, I’ve never tried a protection spell, but it could come in handy when dealing with evil pillagers

Sugar: That’s the spirit, but wait a minute, don’t you have any spells for getting us to the Cabins faster

Leonard: Certainly, for I am Naruto, the Ultimate Shinobi Warrior, follow my spell

Leonard then puts both his arms out and runs as fast as he can, the rest then follow his example. Meanwhile behind the Luxury Cabin, Anne-Maria, Esmeralda, and Jen are perplexed about having to climb a rocky hill.

 

Anne-Maria: Ok, who’s idea was it to have us climb a rocky hill and possibly stain or worse, rip our clothes

Jen: I hear ripped clothing is in this time of year

Tom: You won’t be seeing them too much on the runway though, remember that one guy who went down the runway in an All Velcro Suit thinking that would be popular.

Esmeralda: Reminds me of that movie Bruno when he goes down the runway in an all Velcro suit

Tom: I was an Intern at that time, but that suit really did cause a disturbance in Milan for a while

Anne-Maria: Too bad there ain’t no Velcro on this hill, these rocks are slippery as fuck!

Esmeralda: And I just got a pedicure before going on the show

Jen: That’s usually not a good idea, how are your feet

Esmeralda: Luckily I’m wearing really good boots

Jen: Those are actually really nice

Esmeralda: Thank you, and the clothes your wearing are also really nice, it must come with the perks of being a Fashion Blogger

Jen: Well, to be honest with you, we buy most of the stuff we review and I didn’t even make this sweater, my grandmother did.

Tom: Wait, I thought you bought that sweater in Paris

Jen: No Tom, I bought something similar too it when I was in Paris

Tom: Oh, my bad

Thankfully enough they reached the top of the hill and started strutting from behind the Luxury Cabin to where Chris was, too bad not a second later Leonard gets to the Cabins still doing his Shinobi Warrior Spell with Sugar, Tammy, Miles, and Laurie doing the same thing.

Sugar: Your spell worked wizard, we’re at the Cabins

Chet: Spell, more like you stole it from Naruto

Lorenzo and Chet: BAHAHAHA

Harold: Actually, Ninja’s run very differently in that they focus more on aerodynamics and balance, whereas actual runners focus on agility

Jaquan: Whateva Napoleon Dynamite, that nigga like Jesse Owens when he do that shit

Lightning: Yeah, with that technique he went Sha-zoom

Jaquan: Yo I bet if we do that shit, Usain Bolt would have nothing on us nigga

Everyone laughed their Asses off at that, but they were wasting enough time as it is making fun of Leonard’s supposed new spell. It was time to announce the Campers who were here now.

Chris: Ok here’s how it’s looking now, with the arrival of Sugar, Tammy, Anne-Maria, Esmeralda, Jen, and Tom. The Rams now have 19 people on their team, which means we still have Alejandro, Jacques, and Staci that need to get here. As for the Thunderbirds it’s a battle between Max and Topher for the final spot in the Cabin, and Blaineley, well lets just say I’m glad you lost HAHA.

 

For Alejandro and Jacques, it was hard to maneuver the island with two badly sprained ankles.

Jacques: Josee would kill me if I came in last place, but at least Staci decided to take a Scenic Route into the forest

Alejandro: Yes, there is no way we can lose with that Chatterbox out of the way

Jacques: But going up those hills will be a problem for us, we are sure to slip on those rocks if we are not careful.

Alejandro: Why don’t we just get Blaineley and Topher to help us?

As it turned out Blaineley and Topher overheard the conversation between the two men and rushed over

Blaineley: Well since I’m eliminated, I guess I’ll help

Topher: Yeah, I don’t know how you guys got so far in the race with those ankles

Blaineley: They look pretty bad though, hopefully the next challenge isn’t too physically demanding, it’s not like I care anyway, I’m not competing. Jacques where is Josee, did you guys have a big blowup or something.

Jacques: I do not wish to talk about it

Blaineley: So Alejandro, I heard you and heather are doing quite well

Alejandro: Yes, better that ever

Topher: You know Blaineley; maybe you should wait till after this is over to interview everyone.

Blaineley: I could do that, but it’s better to start earlier so you can get everything on the contestants you need, although I don’t get that one girl that came in a taxi.

Topher: Who, Sandy?

Blaineley: There is just something about her I just don’t get. How can she pull of having facial scars? Where did they come from even?

Topher: Who knows? All I know is I couldn’t possibly live with myself if I had something like that on my face.

Blaineley: Well there was that long one on her arm also

Jacques: Will you two shut the hell up and help us up this hill

Blaineley and Topher: Right 

 

As Blaineley and Topher help Alejandro and Jacques up the hill, the rest of the Campers are waiting eagerly for who the last members of the teams will be.

Mario: Definitely Staci

Courtney: I Concur

Sandy really hopes that Jacques will go home

Sandy: You think Josee can survive without her partner

Duncan: Watching a grown woman throw a temper tantrum is a huge turn-on, not.

Sandy: You are corny HAHA

Scarlett is smiling menacingly as her plan might come into action

Scarlett: HAHA part 1 of my plan is coming together nicely

Scott: What plan, to have your cute sidekick eliminated so you can dominate the island once again, good luck with that Pepper-Ann

Scarlett: Ugh Imbecile

Then the results finally come in as Blaineley, Topher, Alejandro, and Jacques slowly walk toward the Cabins. Too bad for them because a moose is chasing Max toward the Cabins.

Max: Ahhhhh, get back you blasted mammal, for evil does not usurp to your ultimate power.

Chris: Wow, what a close race, but I gotta say 

Topher: Wait I have something to say before you announce the winner of the Thunderbird Cabins

Chris: What so you can steal my spotlight AGAIN

Topher: No I just want to say that Max can have the cabin because I fucking quit

Everyone: *Gasp*

Blaineley: That’s right Chris; Topher is with me now, as my new understudy

Chris: What, that’s not how it works, It’s in his contract to be here

Blaineley: My lawyers can argue that, besides you are getting a little old to host this show anyway, don’t you think.

Chris: *Gasp* Age is nothing but a number

Blaineley: Tell that to Lindsay, according to an insider you took her to your house.

Lindsay: *Gasp* That was Paula

Chris: AHAHAHAHA, yeah, what she said

Topher: Chris, I knew you would be finished with this show eventually with how much money your giving away.

Blaineley: And how are the executive producers aware of how much money you’re willing to give away.

Chris: Oh, I’m sure they have connections

Topher: Whatever Chris, once I leave this show and become popular, you’re gonna be begging me for a job.

Chris: But you’re forgetting something, we’ve been renewed for another four seasons.

But too bad Staci finally showed up looking exhausted

Chris: You know what, go ahead Topher, quit, Max is officially the 21st Camper to show up, I guess

Scarlett: Godfuckingdammit 

Chris: Now Staci, you are the final camper to show up to the cabins

Staci: Awww, But I was doing so good

Chris: Sure you were, and now that everyone here, I guess I should show the 4 Losers how they’re going to be eliminated this season. Unfortunately, it’s not going to be as funny or as extreme as the rest of the seasons for legal reasons or AKA Courtney.

Courtney: Well we wouldn’t be having these problems if you just followed what the executive producers wanted 

Chris: Do I need to be reminded of more lawsuits? Anyway Campers follow me behind the Luxury Cabin.

With that, the rest of the Campers followed Chris behind the Luxury Cabin in anticipation of what the elimination ceremony this season would become.

 

A little behind the Luxury Cabin was a Dock that was 20 feet to the left of the shore. Behind that was where the Campers were seated in logs similar to the ones found on Wawanakwa. This was going to be the new elimination ceremony location and for Justin, Blaineley, Topher, and Staci, they would never get to experience everything the Island has to offer as in the far distance there is a boat heading toward the docks

Chris: Campers, this is where the elimination ceremonies will take place.

Gwen: Yippee

Zoey: HAHA

Chris: Campers it looks like you have all made it out of the other side of the forest alive, but theres barely any injuries aside from Alejandro, Jacques, and Tyler’s bad ankle injuries and Owen Whooping Cough

Owen: HAHAHA *cough*

Chris: Well you can thank the EPA for that, they did a lot to enhance the Island and make it more natural. So anything that was here last time like Mechanical Robots and Alligators, we had to replace with real ones.

Courtney: Didn’t you mention this before the challenge started?

Chris: Well, I didn’t mention that they had to all be in their own habitat within the Island, which is probably why you guys didn’t see a lot of them.

Ella: Oh, but we saw some animals on our path

Chris: It was probably Deer, the Moose were located wherever Max went and I’m surprised nobody found any Bears yet

Dawn: Because you thought it would be funny to hide them in a cave

Chris just stares at Dawn, he thought the Bears needed the Hibernation, which is why he put them there

Chris: Isn’t that what Bears do, they hibernate until winter

Scarlett: No, you’ve got that totally backwards

But then Chris realized he was getting ahead of himself and decided to talk about how the eliminated contestants were going to go out this season.

Suddenly a horn honked toward the dock and out step a short man with a yellow raincoat and hat. He had orange hair and a beard.

Chris: Ladies and Gentlemen, you all remember my cousin Jerd from World Tour. 

Noah: Oh great him again, what does he want

Jerd: Ahh, smartie lad eh, heacommin wit me

Chris: No Jerd, these are your helpers Justin, Blaineley, Topher, and Staci 

Heather: Wait, so when we get eliminated we go with your cousin

Chris: Yep, I had to figure out a humane way of getting the losers off this Island, Too many lawsuits from those fun safety commissioners to warrant me to use any catapults or toilets this season. You can thank Courtney for most of it.

Everyone stares at Courtney

Courtney: Oh please, I’m surprised you still have the money to continue with how many times you’ve been sued.

Chris: It’s a good thing my mom knows all the judges, but enough about me, Jerd what are the Losers this season gonna do for you

Jerd: Ahh, Youal helpinmaisland witclamseh gotaplentae

Mario: What is this guy even saying?

Chris: Each time we get a loser, you’re getting something different every time. This time, my cousin Jerd wants these four over here to help him shuck clams and general maintenance of his domain until the shows over.

Lindsay: But what happened to the Luxury Resort

Chris: Did you see one Lindsay?

Lindsay: *sigh* No

Gwen: Wait what do you mean it’s different every time?

Chris: Well Jerd came all the way here from Newfoundland on his boat, it’ll take him three days to get back to his home, which means whenever I eliminate somebody, it has to be a different guy picking you up.

Justin: Wait; we have to travel for three days, on a boat, with a guy who barely speaks English

Jerd angrily stared at him

Justin: I’m sure they’ll be plenty to learn along the way HEHE

Jerd: Ah datderedinkwitderedipstic

Staci: Wow, my great great uncle

Chris: Shut the fuck up Staci, I’m sure Jerd would love to hear your amazingly beautiful stories on his boat, now the four of you get off this fucking Island.

With that the four board Jerds boat, which from the outside looked horrible, and it was probably worse on the inside.

Chris: Jerd, make sure these Campers do a really good job on you’re Cabin

Jerd: Ah yerknoit HAHAAAAAAAAHA

Jerd then walks to his boat with a menacing smile on his face; these campers were going to be fun to torture. Soon after the boat leaves the dock, Chris has more announcements, but some campers are still confused about the fact that they’ll be different people picking them up.

Scarlett: Wait, so after each challenge we get some random person to pick us up, what if we get kidnapped.

Chris: Well, I couldn’t launch you out of a canon could I, I had to make the elimination ceremonies somewhat unpredictable, and besides, I know these people, they couldn’t do that to innocent Campers.

Everyone looked at each other, wondering who the next person picking up the eliminated contestant could be. Too bad Chris had to continue with the announcements.

Chris: Now, you’re probably wondering where the confessionals are and why you haven’t used them yet. When the EPA was doing deconstruction on the Island, they used some of the wood from the old confessionals for the Luxury Cabin.

Beth: Does that mean there are no confessionals?

Chris: No Beth, I did manage to save four of them, one for each team, they’re all scattered behind your Cabins

It was still pretty dark out so most of the campers were still unaware of where things were around here, including the bathrooms.

Chris: Oh and if your wondering the bathrooms are right next to the Luxury Cabin, Speaking of which, Today's winner unfortunately is Samey

Dillon smiled at this, but he also hoped that where Chris slept, wasn’t where Samey slept also. It was a good thing Duncan managed to speak up.

Duncan: So Chris, where will you be sleeping tonight?

Chris: Why, are you gonna try to blow my house up again, somewhere on the other side of the Island that I am not telling any of you HEHE.

This made Duncan and Dillon smile at each other, that Cabin was now defenantly going to be reserved for both Sammy and the five other people that were there first.

Chris: Now the Luxury Cabin is usually reserved for the Camper that comes in first in the challenges, but this is an interesting dilemma. Maybe next time Amy you won’t be such a bad sister and will get the cabin soon enough.

Amy: Hopefully soon 

Leshawna: Maybe If you weren’t such a bitch to your sister and didn’t cheat, you’d have that cabin easily

Amy: Ugh, whatever 

Chris: So Campers, I’m getting kind of tired, it’s been fun but we all need our rest

Owen: I’ll say *cough*

Shawn: Umm, did you eat a Manchineel Fruit by any chance?

Owen: Yeah *cough*

Shawn: How long ago?

Owen: About a couple hours ago?

Amy: Oh please, I ate one too and I was fine the next day.

Shawn: Hey wait a minute you didn’t cough after speaking this time; the coughing will slowly go away after that, you should be fine by tomorrow

Owen: Wow *cough* good to know

 

While Shawn and Owen were talking, Chris had gone to his waiting helicopter and had left, the other campers decided to do the same thing and get some sleep. Meanwhille Dillon and Duncan are still going over final preparations. 

Dillon: It’s a fucking good thing Chris is sleeping on the other side of the Island, did you seriously blow up his cabin, that’s fucking sick.

Duncan: Yeah, too bad I went to jail for it.

Dillon: This dude has to have a shit ton of houses and he gets pissed about that one, I can’t even afford an apartment let alone that, but that Luxury Cabin does look kind of nice

Duncan: Don’t tempt me

Dillon and Duncan: BAHAHAHAHA

Duncan: Alright bro, I’m gonna wait in my cabin for the right moment

Dillon: Remember, wait till everyone asleep, we don’t wanna get everyone excited, including Jaquan. I gotta talk to Sandy though; she has the hardest job of trying to maneuver Amy.

He then approaches Sandy

Sandy: Hey Dillon, I heard of your plan, but how am I going to get around Amy

Dillon: Unfortunately for you, you might need a bathroom break so I’m not gonna allow you to bring your cot to the Luxury Cabin. Hopefully the thing has a Couch.

Sandy: Yeah, it’s probably for the best anyway, but I’ll still wait till Amy’s passed out.

Dillon: Hopefully she’s a heavy sleeper

Sandy: HAHA later Dillon

Dillon: Alright

He then sees Sammy about to head to the Luxury Cabin

Dillon: Hey Sam, you know what to do right

Sammy was still really perplexed by all of this, after they got home from Pakiteaw Island nothing really changed. The dominant personality she exhibited during the shows run was only temporary, and Jasmine lived all the way in Australia, so there was no way she could be there during school where Sammy’s life was still a living hell. The show had changed the both of them for the worse, and Amy blamed Sammy for all of it.

Sammy: Yeah, but Dillon, I just want to say thank you

Dillon: For what? It was Jasmines idea to have you in the Cabins instead of Amy I just helped.

Sammy: No not that, you’re one of the few people that stood up to Amy besides Jasmine, I mean I did it during the show eventually, but it got so much worse afterward.

Dillon: Like How?

Sammy: After the show, I made sure I kept in contact with Jasmine by Skyping her from time to time, but that didn’t stop the other kids at school from never talking to either of us. Pretty soon Amy lost most of her friends too, and blamed me for all of her problems. It got so bad we started being home-schooled because of all the attention it caused and I started to think that I’d never have anyone around for me again besides Jasmine.

Dillon: I think the reason you both got worse was because of all the unwavering attention reality TV brings. Amy wasn’t use to the repercussions that it brought, so to make herself feel better, she took out most of her pent up aggression on you. I don’t blame you at all Sam, you handled it better then her.

Sammy: Really

Dillon: Yeah, Anybody who has the same attitude as Amy has a horrible time with balancing whats in front of them, and besides, we are all still young and our brains are still developing. Maybe she can change, but for now, I don’t like her. You, I’ve always liked you more ever since I saw that one episode with my sister, I saw your desire to escape the minute I laded eyes on you.

Sammy: But how could you tell, I mean, you only saw one episode?

Dillon: I can look at somebody in a minute and tell what they’re really like, and Sam, you’re perfect to me, even though I know you don’t think you are and nobodies perfect anyway.

Sammy: HEHEHEHE, thanks Dillon

She then gives Dillon a kiss on the check

Sammy: That was for standing up for me today, I better get to the Luxury Cabin, I promise to keep it real dark inside HEHE

Dillon was still in space from the Kiss

Sammy: You know you’re invited later right, you know, to protect me from Amy

Dillon: Oh yeah, for sure

And with that Sammy leaves for the Luxury Cabin leaving Dillon to wonder what weird circumstances have gotten him to this point. He really didn’t want to be on this show, but now he had a reason to stay on and whatever lied ahead on the next day could not totally break his spirit. He then walks toward his cabin and proceeds to wonder what crazy challenge Chris will plan tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eliminated:
> 
> 88-85: Justin, Blaineley, Topher, Staci

**Author's Note:**

> Ravenous Roadrunners: B, Carrie, Courtney, Dillon, Ellody, Emma, Ella, Ennui, Ezekiel, Lily, Lindsay, Jay, Jasmine, Justin, Owen, Rock, Ryan, Sammy, Sky, Spud, Trent, Zoey
> 
> Harrowing Skylarks: Blaineley, Brody, Cameron, Chester, Chet, Dakota, Devin, Eva, Geoff, Harold, Heather, Jo, Junior, Katie, Lorenzo, MacArthur, Mary, Megan, Mike, Sadie, Sam, Taylor
> 
> Terrifying Thunderbirds: Amy, Beth, Duncan, Izzy, Jaquan, Josee, Kitty, Laurie, Leonard, Leshawna, Lightning, Max, Miles, Noah, Rodney, Sanders, Sandy, Scott, Shawn, Sierra, Stephanie, Topher
> 
> Arduous Rams: Alejandro, Anne-Maria, Beardo, Brick, Bridgette, Cody, Crimson, Dave, Dawn, DJ, Esmeralda, Gwen, Jacques, Jen, Mario, Mickey, Scarlett, Staci, Sugar, Tammy, Tom, Tyler


End file.
